


Good Bones

by exAm, ZombieJesus



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: And doesn't want Light to sell it, Awkward Flirting, Delicious desserts, Developing Friendships, Fancy Hotels, Gen, Ghosthunter!L, Haunted Houses, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Humor, M/M, Oral Fixation, Oral Sex, Other, Plot, Realtor!Light has to sell this damn spooky house, RealtorKing!Higuichi, Ryuk is bound to the house, Sorry Not Sorry, Too bad Mello and Matt used a cursed Ouija board to summon a shinigami in the attic, because investigating ghosts is a totally normal thing to do when you're L, lawlight, seances gone awry, shocking the help, weird science, whelp this got smutty, wow L is awkward but he has other redeeming qualities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-02-18 01:23:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 45,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21519622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exAm/pseuds/exAm, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZombieJesus/pseuds/ZombieJesus
Summary: When Mello and Matt try to have a seance with a cursed Ouija board, they end up summoning a very annoyed Ryuk from the Shinigami Realm into the attic of a gothic mansion. Fast forward a few years and Light Yagami is a realtor in York, England, vying for the title of Realtor King from the current champ. He's determined to sell this discount mansion with a bad reputation, whatever it takes. Sure, it might be filthy, dusty, falling down, and infested with a shinigami, but it's got good bones and Light's got big dreams.But just as Light starts to make friends with the mansion's ghost, a certain ghost-hunting detective gets wind that something spooky may be going on here.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light, Matt | Mail Jeevas & Mello | Mihael Keehl, Ryuk & Yagami Light
Comments: 52
Kudos: 79





	1. Attic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello convinces Matt to sneak up to the attic of an abandoned house, but their adventures with a Ouija board don't go according to plan. A few years later, realtor Light Yagami inspects the house he's been tasked to sell.

“It’s just past the graveyard and over that fence.” Mello kissed his rosary as he stepped into the moonlit graveyard, glancing around to make sure they were alone. When he turned around and saw Matt’s ember of a cigarette still at the edge of the yard of Wammy’s, he stomped his leather boot. “Come on! Didn’t you just tell me you wanted someplace to smoke where Roger wouldn’t catch you?”

Matt scratched his grimy hair, looking between Mello and the distant Tudor mansion of Wammy’s, and finally grumbled, “Alright….” as he stepped into the decrepit graveyard. Mello was always convincing him to break the rules but he never resisted for long. 

They crept silently towards a sprawling, dark house in the distance and Matt was getting the creeps. He whispered to Mello, “Why don’t we just smoke in the graveyard or...or under that tree?”

Mello shook his head as he ascended the back porch steps and undid the lockpick hidden in one dangling earrings. “Nuh uh. There’s something up in the attic you gotta see. Trust me, it’s badass.” He popped the lock to the back door, letting it open inwards with a long, shrill squeak. It didn’t look like anyone had been inside in a long time, and little particles of dust were drifting through the moonlight streaming into the window. 

“Uh...I’m getting bad juju from this place.” Matt put out his cigarette before going in since it looked like the whole place was aching to be dry tinder. “It’s spooky.”

Mello yanked a pocket flashlight from his jacket and swung the beam around. “It’s just a _house_ scaredycat. Grow a pair already.”

“Pfft. Asshole.” Matt snickered as he followed Mello into the house and up the enormous curved staircase, cringing slightly with every creak of the old wood beneath his feet.

At the top of the stairs, Mello stopped and pointed up to a rope dangling from a trapdoor in the ceiling. “Ok, give me a boost.” 

Matt grabbed him around the middle and lifted him up to reach the rope, and when it was pulled down, a rickety ladder came down with it. “You’ve been up here before? How’d you manage it yourself the last time, shorty?”

“Higher platform boots. Duh.” Mello coughed delicately as he climbed up the ladder, giving Matt a hand up before flicking open his skull zippo and lighting the candles filling the room.

Matt pushed his goggles to the top of his head to get a better look, immediately spying an ancient Ouija board in the middle of a chalk-drawn pentagram. “Uhhh...Mello. This doesn’t look very Catholic.”

“Well…” Mello tilted his head as he considered the decidedly occult setup. “I’ll say a few extra Hail Marys later. Get square with G O D. Happy?” He dragged some old silk pillows closer to the Ouija board and plopped down onto them. “Anyway. We’re going to talk to a saint so I’m sure it’s just fine.”

“A saint?!” Matt groaned and sat down too, pulling his bong from his jacket and packing it as Mello fiddled with the board. “Boooo-ring.”

“The patron saint of SERIOUS ROCK asshole.” Mello kicked him playfully, then lowered his voice again. “We’re gonna talk to Axl Rose.”

Matt nearly choked on his bong pull, hacking as he laughed. “Dude, he’s not even dead. How are we--”

“SHHHHH.” Mello had his hands on the teardrop slider, eyes closed and with a serious look on his face. “Now put your fingers on here too. We need all the energy.” When Matt hesitated, Mello cracked an eye and shot him a glare. “Put your fucking hands on the fucking wood thing, NOW.”

“FINE.” Matt sputtered a giggle as he set his bong aside and did as Mello asked. “Now what.”

“Now I have to say the right words. I read them in an old book at Wammy’s and it sounded legit.” Mello cleared his throat dramatically, humming and swaying slightly. “Incantarum rosae….spiritu santis oculum...axleum maximus rocha….”

Matt snorted until Mell elbowed him hard, and he hid his face in his shoulder as Mello kept on going.

“Qum quo noctae...imbecilium flagellum…mulletous dominus rex!” Mello’s voice rose as he started to get really into it, the candles flickering all around them until a sudden gust of wind snuffed them all out. 

“Gah!” Matt gaped as the wooden Ouija board indicator slowly slid to one letter after another. Y….O….K… “What...the FUCK! Are you doing that???!”

“No!!” Mello was just as surprised as Matt was that something had actually happened. “Y-O-K...what’s it spelling?”

The indicator slid to ‘A’ and then ‘I’, and then came to rest on the ‘HELLO.’ Matt wasn’t sure whether to pull away or sit still. “What’s a yok--” But he didn’t get to finish his question before a loud crack sounded followed by a near-hurricane swirling around all the papers, rags, and pretty but anything that wasn’t tied down.

“YES!! AXL TELL US YOUR SECRETS!!” Mello stood up with an enormous smile on his face, raising his arms as his hair lifted around his face. “Ah, Matt! We did it! I told YOU this stuff was real! Aha, this is amazing I get to talk to one of the GREATS.”

  
  
“Did what? It’s... probably an earthquake…” The red-headed kid sounded unconvinced of himself, he was trembling in fear. 

  
  
“...YORK DOESN’T HAVE EARTHQUAKES!” The more boisterous blonde thing retaliated, throwing up both hands in disbelief. “Axl is THAT YOU!? TELL US HOW TO BE ROCK GODS!”

  
Ryuk watched two children jump from the shaking board and point at each other accusingly. He didn’t know what an Axl was. One moment he’d been lounging beside a portal to Earth, then next he was unceremoniously sucked into some cramped place mustier than the Shinigami Realm. Invisible to these human children, he’d emerged in a gorgeous old mansion that had probably seen better days, crawling out from the board ready to write a slow painful death for whomever had summoned him. 

He flung the game board at the loud one’s head. Both human children screamed bloody murder which gave him a needed laugh. “.. what ‘xactly have ya done…” Ryuk himself wasn’t quite sure what had happened. He stretched out one spindly arm experimentally. Now, this was a very odd feeling, he could fully move yet he had the distinct feeling of being caged, “Damn kids.”

He didn’t understand he’d just been a victim of a botched summoning. When the portal spun open in the shinigami realm vacuuming unsuspecting shinigami, Gook had gleefully pushed him into in, still wanting payback for a recent game of bone dice gone awry.

  
  
His hand itched to grab the pen for his death note. He reached for his holster and…

  
  
Gone.

  
  
His eyes flashed golden with worry. He’d put it down to join the gambling and hadn’t strapped it back on yet. He could still rip them apart, though it would be the last thing he’d ever do due to the King’s stupid rules about how to kill humans. He reached for the kid in the stripes, willing his hand solid with the life-force that flowed through him.

  
Neither of the children scrambled away, instead they could only stare at the hand in horror and start to fight about who was at fault for this predicament.

  
  
“LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT THIS HIDEOUS THING. THAT’S NOT AXL. YOU WERE LAUGHING AND FUCKED IT UP AND NOW WE SUMMONED SOME SORT OF... CREEPY DISEMBODIED DEMON HAND, YOU GREAT TWAT!” Mello screamed.

  
  
“THAT’S ALL ON YOU BRUV. AND I DON’T THINK THAT WAS REAL LATIN.”

  
  
“Latin’s a dead language. Whatever I say goes. Yo, are you brave enough to touch that? Because I want its rings…” The blonde child muttered, almost as an aside. And the two seemed frozen as if waiting for Ryuk to do something.

  
  
“WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?” Matt moaned to see his bong flung to the other side of the room before the demonic hand rattled him around.

  
  
And Ryuk, who had been livid to be called here by mere humans and fully ready to toss these small creatures into a fireplace to burn them alive, called off his magic so he could cackle more than he had in a good long time. His hand fell into obscurity back behind the veil of invisibility-- wasn’t like he could keep that up for long anyway.

  
  
He looked at their age, their remaining lifespans, such a long life ahead of them… such innocent silly creatures. Damn shame he didn’t have his Death Note here to reap all those years, but looked like they’d all fucked up tonight. Well, that thought-- plus the realization that Justin Armonia was the only one who could bail his ass out of this-- put him in a foul mood. “Yah want that glass thing back, huh?” His claws reached for the Mario and Toad bong, making it appear to be flying around the room between the two kids. “Well too damn bad.” Ryuk clenched his fist, shattering the glass into dust and cackling as the two humans shrieked and dove head-first down the attic door.

  
  
The amusement was short-lived though since now he was alone again with no way to get back to the Realm. He sat on his haunches, wondering if Justin was even watching him right now. If he was, the old gold cauldron was probably laughing hard enough to set his jewels loose.  
  
  
\-------------

  
Light was nearly giddy as he walked up the oak-lined drive of the house he’d been contracted to sell-- what a plum he’d landed! It was a gothic mansion supposedly built by the town doctor 200 or so years back. Unfortunately, that doctor had had quite the laudanum habit and lost the house pretty quickly, and it had been passed down through various families over the decades. The current owners had just inherited it and didn’t want the taxes, so he’d been asked to sell it as quickly as possible and to consider all offers.

That was the official story anyway. Whispers at the realtor’s office said that the middle-aged couple had moved into the house but that things kept going wrong or breaking. They’d sunk a small fortune into trying to fix the place up only to have all their (ostensibly tacky) post-modern ‘improvements’ torn down the next day. The husband’s fraternity stein collection had all been broken in an odd ‘earthquake’ and his wife’s entire inventory of essential oils dumped down the drain, ending her “home business” (pyramid scheme) before she’d even begun. Light had a feeling they were tired of the money pit and maybe had been the victims of vandals, but it hardly merited the discount price on this historic beauty.

He pulled out his notepad and jotted down a few impressions before going inside. _Beautiful rosewood scrollwork and gilt, the masonry will likely outlive this town. Stained glass windows in the cupola. Wraparound porch needs some boards replaced. Doesn’t look like a gardener has been by in a while. But it’s got good bones._

Light put his notebook away and walked up to the front door to ring the doorbell on the off-chance someone might be there, but it only echoed in the empty space. The key they’d given him to the front door was peculiar-- a wrought-iron skull and spine-- but it slid easily into the lock and turned. “Hello? I’m Light Yagami, realtor with Yagami, Yagami, and Yagami Realty.” Nobody answered of course, so he took the liberty of walking freely through the house as he made more notes about its various features and amenities. “Oh god...the dust…” Light sneezed a few times before pulling out a handkerchief and covering his nose, scribbling ‘MAID’ and underlining it several times.

Ryuk roused himself on tired limbs from another thrilling game of racing the house roaches through steep circles he’d made in the accumulating dust when he heard someone creak open the double doors to this blasted mansion he’d been imprisoned in since those dumb little kids had summoned him without completing the spellwork. As a result, he’d been trapped between the human physical realm and his own spirit realm affixed to one particular *point* of reality.

  
  
Shidou had shown up briefly to explain literally nothing about his predicament at all, save for this. “I dunno.” He’d told Ryuk, irritatingly when asked for any further clarification. And just when Ryuk had swallowed his pride enough to ask for his Death Note Shidou told him, in his guileless manner, “Anyway I have to go, that was all Justin Armonia told me to say!”

Before Ryuk could be arsed with the intruder, he let a flicker of his magic travel through the dodgy electrical system of the mansion. Usually, that was creepy enough to run off your run-of-the-mill cowardly mortal.

Light was just walking out of the kitchen when the lights flickered and he heard a series of beeps behind him. “Huh?” _Did the microwave just go off?_ “Anybody here?”

He prodded at the appliance and checked inside but...it wasn’t even plugged in. _That’s weird. Am I hearing things?_

  
  
Ryuk sighed as if affronted when gentle steps continued into his home and prison. He sprouted his wings, whole lotta good they did him anymore now, and flapped into the lobby of the home at his leisure.

  
  
Ryuk alighted like the wind before his unwelcome visitor, preparing to ease over him in a chilling gust, then stopped short as features became clear.

  
  
The man who had entered Ryuk’s fixed point prison in the middle of English to-fuck-and-gone countryside, was the most singularly beautiful human Ryuk had possibly ever seen before. He stopped making a ruckus, what was this beguiling creature… doing here? 

Light’s cellphone buzzed and he pulled it out, grimacing at the voice mail from his rival, the ‘Realtor King’ Higuchi. He played it with a sour look on his face.

“Heyyyyy Yagami. Heard you got stuck with that old Frankenstein shithole. Ha! Already TRIED to sell that lemon and nobody was having it. Anyway, have fun moron. I told everybody it’s haunted and to avoid it like the plague. Realtor King OUT!”

Light let out an angry hiss, grumbling down at his phone, “Oh, I’ll sell it alright. Then I’m going to _bury_ you and _I’ll_ be the King.” It had irked him no small amount that he was only SECOND in national sales, and couldn’t figure out how Higuichi managed to beat him every quarter. His father told him not to worry about it but Light being Light, he always had to be the best. He giggled thinking about _literally_ burying Higuichi in the sprawling backyard of this very house, maybe in the little cemetery just out back. Who would think anything odd about finding a dead body there?

  
  
Ryuk chuckled at this amusingly confident human. Not the least bit afraid in this house. Gorgeous and firey, yelling about burying another man. Seemed like some primo entertainment. Nothing like a good death threat. Maybe he could give it a rest with the poltergeist schtick. He was getting so… _tired_ anyway.  


Light jammed his phone back in his pocket and adjusted his gold wire-rim glasses until he felt calm again, then headed upstairs to take pictures and notes about whatever dismal state the bathrooms were in.

  
\---

  
Light didn’t stay too long that first time, but it was only two days later that he had to go back. The maids had called him that morning, frantically upset, telling him that when they’d tried to clean the house all of their vacuums and dusters had been thrown out the front door. “What in the hell are you talking about?! Are you just asking for more money because I’ll pay for--”

“No, Mr. Yagami. There’s no amount of money you could pay me to go back into that place. Devils are there!!” She hung up on him and that was the end of the conversation. So, there was nothing to do but haul his own cleaning supplies to the countryside manor and do the work himself. 

Light dragged his vacuum into the house, sighing at the grey feathers littering the foyer from where some duster had been plucked to pieces. “Devils…pah.” He scoffed as he pulled off his work suit and folded it on a rare clean table (which must have been the only thing the maids got to), standing in nothing but his boxer shorts and socks as he bent to plug in the vacuum cleaner. “Someone is _not_ getting a good Yelp review.” 

He switched on the vacuum but nothing happened. “You’re kidding me…we paid the damn electric bill.” Light flicked it on and off a few more times, then knelt by the socket to see if anything was wrong. He was sure that he’d asked an electrician to come by and check the house over as well. “Oh no, don’t tell me they didn’t do it.” Sure enough, there was a slightly frightened email from the electrician claiming that the smoke detectors kept sounding off and that he’d found his tools underwater in the bathtub. 

Light plopped onto the rug, frowning in consternation. “I am _not_ giving up. If I have to sweep this whole house by myself I’m going to get it sparkling clean.” But _two_ services canceling on him for supposed supernatural happenings was downright strange, and he couldn’t deny the eerie feeling he had once he was still and quiet enough to sense it. _I don’t believe in ghosts._ But...what if they really did exist?

“Hey! Are there any ghosts here? Speak up if so!” Light laughed as he picked himself up off the floor, feeling downright silly. _Of course there aren’t._ And even if there were, did he really think one was just going to pop up and say hi?

  
Ryuk shifted shyly from foot to foot to be addressed directly by his fascinating house guest. He certainly hadn’t expected such a direct question. He wasn’t… a ghost… but the human had asked for him to communicate and shinigami were always bound by agreements. He burned a couple of his few remaining years and spoke “Hello,” but Light could not hear him. His magic was growing weaker as time passed.

  
  
Frowning that he could not break his voice through to the Human World, he had an idea-- he still had enough strength to… move the dust.

  
  
In the large mirror above the mantle of the fireplace, he wrote, “Hi.” And then he thought very hard about what he wanted to tell his amusing visitor but there were so many things to say that all he could think of was, “I like apples.”


	2. Fireplace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryuk and Light make contact and find out what the other one wants. A tenuous truce might be possible, although they’re at cross purposes.

Ryuk laughed at himself. Man, what was this human going to think? He should have said something cool or intimidating! He was a God.   
  
  
It took Light a few moments to notice something was different. He’d been bustling around with a dust rag but came to an abrupt halt at the fireplace, his eyes going wide at the words written there in singular script. The rag fell from his hand as he whipped around to scan the room, breathing a little harder. Those words had  _ absolutely _ not been there when he’d come in. “Is...is someone playing a trick on me?” Light hated how his voice trembled slightly as he called into the cavernous house, but the only answer he got was an echo. He swallowed and turned back to stare at the words.  _ Did someone or someTHING actually hear me?  _ If there really was some ghost here, it didn’t seem unfriendly.  _ Yet.  _ He was well versed in all the myths told to children about devious and sly spirits who would try to coerce you into a pact for your soul.

But still...Light was insanely curious.  _ I have to know.  _ He looked around, murmuring, “You like apples?” and slowly backed up to the kitchen table where he’d put his lunch. There was a juicy red apple inside. His heart was racing as he took it out of the bag and carefully set it on the fireplace mantle, taking a few steps back to watch what happened.  
  
  
Ryuk couldn’t believe his incredible good fortune. Not only had this brilliant man asked after him, creating a bond for potential communication between them, but he’d responded! It turned out he was carrying his favorite food! And the way he set it down was in offering! The only manner in which a Death God could receive food from Mortal Realms. He swooped in to take it up in one grateful hand and, he couldn’t help himself, he crunched it apart in two marvelous juicy bites. The taste! The gritty texture! It spattered wet upon old wooden floors.

  
  
And just like that he felt less tired, it was as if the offering had stood substitute for years. Did he dare reveal himself? He looked to the human to see how an apple disappearing into an invisible maw affected him.

“Holy SHIT!” Light stumbled backwards, barely believing his eyes as the fruit hovered in midair and...was eaten??? There was no denying it now-- those maids and electricians hadn’t been lying and the evidence of a supernatural force was (or had been) just in front of him. His first instinct was to dash for the door, clothes be damned, and he got as far as his hand on the brass doorknob before stopping himself.  _ No. Running away is what everyone else did. I’m going to sell this cursed house and become the King and nobody is going to stop me. Not even a ghost. _

He pulled his hand away from the doorknob and stood up tall and straight, turning towards the fireplace with an attempt at bravery. “If you’re really there, then can you tell me what you’re doing in this house?” First things first. Maybe if he could establish some line of communication and figure out why it was here, he could find a way to get rid of it.

  
The human seemed appropriately freaked out now so Ryuk held off on using this unexpected burst of energy to break the veil. He was also concerned to see the reaction to himself. Instead he moved dust across the mirror again, “Trapped here. Name’s Ryuk.” 

  
  
“Ryuk.” Light stepped closer as he read the words on the mirror, curiosity instantly displacing his fear. It seemed the ghost could hear him just fine but was unable to speak. “That’s an unusual name for a ghost. Not that…” He laughed self-consciously at his perplexed face staring back from the dusty mirror. “...not that I’ve ever met a ghost before.” 

  
“Never met something like you before either,” Ryuk laughed in honest reply, because was this fae thing truly human and in his excitement to be having this conversation, he accidentally expended power enough to shimmer through the veil, briefly. Had his voice been audible?

Light gripped the mantle as he heard a scratchy, deep voice this time, but kept his wits about him. It wouldn’t do to freak out and possibly set the incorporeal being off. He turned around in the general direction of the voice, but still saw nothing. “So you...you don’t haunt humans?” 

  
  
Ryuk cackled. Oh he haunted humans alright. Just not like this. He didn’t want to be too honest with the human. Why he was really here was quite embarrassing. He moved the dust once more to tell his story, “I am yokai. Shinigami… we are above such work. I’m just… lost,” He erased lost after he wrote it, replacing it with, “killing time.”

Light knew what shinigami were-- they didn’t just haunt humans they  _ killed _ them.  _ Fuck…. _ He kept his panic down, determined not to show any weakness or fear despite how hard his heart was hammering. “And how did you get lost  _ here _ exactly? Because that presents a bit of a problem for me. S-shinigami have a job to do and so do I. Mine’s to get this house cleaned up nicely and sell it. But I can’t do that if you keep scaring everyone.”

  
  
Ryuk smiled wide, such a wildly confident human! Telling HIM what to do! His laughter was echoing could Light have heard it. Quickly moving dust, he bit back, “Opposite problem then. See I’m not taking any visitors.” He paused, adding the caveat, “You are welcome to stay though. You I like.”

Light frowned at the empty living room after reading those words, crossing his arms and looking very unamused.  _ Not taking visitors?! _ “Newsflash. This isn’t  _ your _ home. And it’s not going to be mine either. If you like me so much, then do me a favor and get lost somewhere else.” He huffed back over to where he’d dropped his dusting rag, snatching it up and getting back to work cleaning all the antique furniture.   


  
Ryuk felt shocked at that temper. He hadn’t expected to inspire such ire in his subject of fascination, but this truly was his home until he figured out how to leave it. He wasn’t intending to share it with anyone he didn’t care for. And it wasn’t as if the human could help him with any of the magic for leaving here. Still he didn’t want to scare the first human he’d talked to in centuries away. He’d been hoping he could convince him to stay. But if Light was here to sell the house again… wait...

  
Light continued, “I’m sure it’s of no concern to you, but it means a lot to  _ me _ to sell this place. I’m going to do it, so why don’t we just stay out of each other’s way.”  _ Mmm, I let my temper out a little.  _ He paused, feeling a little afraid now that he’d talked to a shinigami like that, and softened his tone. “I’ll be coming over quite a lot and can bring you some apples. How about that?”

  
  
If Light was here to sell the house again Ryuk could get plenty of his time with this passionate mortal! He’d just have to scare off the buyers some new way! No big deal. “One apple equals one haunting free hour.” He wrote. “Deal?” That seemed a reasonable exchange to him. Besides… there were other things that would put off buyers than flashing microwaves and inexplicable sounds.

Light stopped his scrubbing, a little smile crossing his face. First because the yokai hadn’t incinerated him on the spot for being so cheeky, but also because it was willing to deal.  _ And there’s nothing so much I love as a good deal. _ “Maybe.” He hummed to himself as he walked right through the spot where the voice had last sounded, spraying some cleaner on the antique baby grand piano. “Don’t think I’m unaware of what entering into a deal with a yokai means. Because you could just be promising to hang around forever and expect apples from me for the rest of my life.” He swiped the rag over the ebony wood, thinking carefully about how to phrase an advantageous deal. Going on sweetly, “And I  _ do _ have all the apples you could want. But...I want your promise that you’ll try to find a way to get un-trapped from this place. And when you can do it, you’ll tell me the truth. I’ll hold up my end and give you apples in exchange for haunting-free time. I think that’s fair.”

  
  
Ryuk was beginning to get more used to being surprised by the human than not, and Light’s caution was not unwarranted. For any deal between yokai and human could be as broad as the human had allowed for when entering into it. Light had given him a set of rules… and an unexpected demand, if Ryuk gained his freedom from this place he’d have to tell Light everything. Well, this wasn’t any human. But he wasn’t any Death God. He’d weaken himself again but he burned power enough to corporealize, shimmering into Light’s reality, large wings unfurled, “I’d say so,  _ Light-o _ . I accept with your terms if we shake on it.” 

  
  
Ryuk tried as best he could to make himself less imposing, hunching down from his full seven and a half feet. He knew that his hand alone was larger than a humans face but he held it out in a fist to curl long black talons away, so they’d seem less like the devastating weapons they were meant to be. He laughed, shyly for himself, agreeing to help a human for the sake of his amusement was not a sort of deal he’d made before. He shook his wings a few times then let them slide into his back. Would the man dare shake his hand? To him he must look like a monster.

Light’s wide eyes traveled up, up, up to stare at the shinigami before him in open wonder. Sure, inside he was quaking, but he kept his fear pushed down as he took in the enormous crow’s wings, the sharp teeth, the long taloned hand extending towards him in an incongruous gesture of civility. Shaking hands and making deals were things he did everyday in his job, but he knew this wouldn’t be a deal like any other. 

“Light-o…” He smiled up at the demon, feeling very small and soft. It seemed like a good sign that Ryuk already had a pet name for him. Maybe he really did like Light and wouldn’t kill him if he lost his temper again.  _ Which will probably happen _ . “I like that.” He hesitated a moment and then took Ryuk’s hand and gave it a firm shake. “It’s a deal then.”  _ I really hope I don’t look like I’m about to shit myself.  _

__  
__  
A small soft hand slid into his and firmly gripped it. Those amber eyes upon him were so sincere that Ryuk, who had met countless gods, was struck how he’d never felt so commanded by one simple gaze before. Had his wings been extended they’d have poofed out from the intensity of this exchange for him.

__  
__  
Light let go after a moment, raising an eyebrow and saying meaningfully, “Maybe if I can get the electricity working again, it would speed things up and I could go pick you some apples from the tree outside. That’s where I got the one you ate.” If the shinigami could make the lights flicker and microwave beep at will, maybe he could make the vacuum cleaner work too.

Ryuk scratched the back of his head, the magic wouldn’t hold, again he slipped into obscurity. So he wrote across the mirror, “Think I can help with that.” And he dipped under the floor to go fiddle with the workings of the ancient grid, sizzling wires shut, making everything flow steady. When he reemerged to find Light bathed in the glow of the chandeliers knew that it was a good thing the human couldn’t see his face. He was so pleased to have completed a task for him.

  
Light wasn’t aware when Ryuk returned, but he had a huge grin on his face when the power had flickered back to life. “Yes!” He set to work right away vacuuming the downstairs rooms, the curtains and couches, even the walls and high-flung corners of the moulding. He was a bit of a neat freak and this house was going to sparkle by tonight even if it killed him. 

He took a break to keep his promise, shrugging his clothes back on to wander outside and pick an entire bowl of apples for the shinigami that had helped him out. He marveled at the silver bowl in his hands as he went back inside, since it seemed everything in this house was gorgeously ornate, even mundane things like this. 

He called out, “Ryuk...are you around? I brought you some apples.” Light set the bowl on the long mahogany dining room table and sat in a high backed chair to eat the rest of his lunch. Maybe he could ask the shinigami a few questions to sate his curiosity and find out more about an entire invisible world he hadn’t known existed until an hour ago. 

  
  
Ryuk had been around, the entire time, silently trailing Light’s industrious readying of the property for buyers - save for when the house stopped him from following the man out He wanted to talk but he was feeling tired again, the bowl of apples seemed to be calling their siren call. He munched through the five that had been brought. The feeling wasn’t as vitalizing as reaping years by writing in the Death Note, but Ryuk could now tell for certain they were restoring some of his power. He didn’t know if he should use it to talk to Light though. For some reason he felt shy. He knew how scary his face and voice were to most mortals. Light had seemed so at ease. Still it had crossed his mind it may be a front.

When the apples started disappearing, Light knew Ryuk was there. But he wasn’t saying anything now.  _ Maybe it takes energy to talk to me. If he’s lost in this house, he might be separated from whatever usual power he has. But can that even happen with immortals?  _ He decided to break the ice. If they were going to have to coexist temporarily they might as well get along, especially since the shinigami could fix things around the house. “Do shinigami need to eat? And why apples? Aren’t you spirits or do you have bodies too?” He stopped there and picked at his rice, he didn’t want his curiosity to be annoying, so he’d see if Ryuk felt like chatting. 

  
  
Ryuk looked to the black leather LV briefcase Light had put down on the chair beside him. He could answer these things without freaking his new human out too badly. Pen and paper were his typical medium afterall. Having found what he was looking for he responded as fully as a shinigami was allowed, to Light’s questions.

  
  
“We don’t need to eat! It’s a hobby. I enjoy apples because their color looks to me like… hm, like lifeforce feels. In my Realm I have a body. In your world I don’t. But I can use my magic to be here, as long as I have years to expend.” Or if the man had his Death Note. But that was a hard thing to explain given he didn’t have his trusty weapon. 

Bits of rice were falling off Light’s chopstick as he read what was being scribbled on the paper. “ _ Your _ realm? What’s that like? Are there more shinigami there?” He absently brought the food to his lips but nothing was left, and he turned to eat a little more before going on. Cleaning had been hard work. “And what do you mean by years? Oh! Oh.” His face fell a little bit at the realization. “You take years from people you kill.” Unspoken was,  _ And am I on the menu too? _ But it hardly seemed like a getting-to-know-you thing to ask.

  
  
“You’ve got it in one.” He scrawled. Sharp human. Ryuk couldn’t help what he was, there’d be no reason to mince words about it. He realized then, that Light might take this to mean,  _ And you’re next. _ So he quickly added, “I’m not interested in taking yours.” For even if he’d had his Death Note he’d have had a compulsion to find out… what a mind like that could do with it. However, giving a human a Death Note entered shinigami and human into a contract that had to end in the death of one or the other. He shivered at the gravity of that. Glad for the first time since losing it, he didn’t have it on hand.

“That is...good to hear.” Light visibly relaxed at the reassurance, even if he wasn’t so naive to take it completely at face value. “I’m rather fond of my years and would like to keep them all.” Making a joke out it was a cope, because of course he was still afraid, but there was no sense in worrying about it now. 

  
Ryuk was pleased that Light had remained calm in the face of knowing how a shinigami gained their immortality, “As to my Realm, nothing much to brag about. We don’t even got any good apples! But, I’m not the only Shinigami.” He chuckled, “Not by a long shot. But no worry about them, they’re either gambling or sleeping good-for-nothings.” He didn’t add the fact he himself was something of a good-for-nothing. Light was actually interested! In him!

“Pfft. And what do shinigami dream of?” Light laughed to himself, thinking that the dreams of yokai would probably seem like nightmares to humans. “I suppose you must be very ancient. Stories of your kind go back a long time, at least in Japan.”

  
  
Ryuk had been alive since before mankind had created civilization, he couldn’t remember if he’d been born, it was as if his history were the history of humankind itself but he knew he’d been alive for longer even than this. These were things he couldn’t communicate yet if he were less careful he could show Light, briefly, of what shinigami dreamed, and why many chose napping over work. That would be far too intimate though. Instead he continued to write, “I might be a bit older than you.” He snarked a bit, then fell serious with his next answer, “No one’s ever asked me about dreams before. We dream of realities passed and those yet to come.” He wrote, but that wasn’t quite right either. As creation’s shadow, Death was part of everything to ever exist or what was yet to come. Humans had no words for things outside of time.

_ No one’s asked him that before.  _ “And have you talked with many humans before?” But Ryuk must have or he wouldn’t know how to write and speak in English, wouldn’t know customs like shaking hands. “So…” He took a thoughtful bite, feeling quite special to be able to interrogate death incarnate like this. “...shinigami dream of the actual past and future. That’s really fascinating. I guess humans do that too, but we dream in lies. Our dreams can’t be trusted.” In a way, it was a little sad that beings who already had which Light desired so much-- life everlasting-- would choose to engage in something he felt was so human and mortal. Relinquishing consciousness to drift into fantasies they didn’t really need, for wouldn’t an immortal have seen or would see all things eventually? “If I could live forever, sleep would seem like a waste of time. I’d want to be out there  _ doing  _ the things I dreamed, seeing it for myself instead of in my head. But then, knowing the future would be damn useful, so maybe not.” He giggled down at the paper, finally getting up the courage to say, “So, if you see me selling this house in your dreams, tell me, ok?”    
  
  


Ryuk excitedly hopped from foot to foot, doing a little nervous shimmy, none of which Light could see, this human had so many fun questions for him! He tried to organize his thoughts to respond but found it easier at this point to sketch something, he picked up the notebook and working too rapidly for human eyes to see drew a cartoon of LIght taking down the for sale sign from the front of the Mansion’s lawn and a little stick Ryuk on the porch with a thumbs up. Beneath it he wrote, “I don’t see specific people’s futures. But maybe together we can make it happen.”

Light giggled at the little cartoon, nodding excitedly. “Yes! Does that mean you--” He looked up, but didn’t quite know where to look to address his question. “...you’re not going to sabotage me?” He sighed in relief, but still wondered if Ryuk knew that meant handing over ownership of the house to strangers, to whoever was the highest bidder.  _ And that I won’t be coming here anymore after that.  _

Ryuk gave his approximation of a frown, his lips pursing together because really as lovely as the man was to him, there was no faster way to lose him forever than to help him in this aim. And even if the next occupants Light brought in were amusing people, nothing would ever be half so entertaining as having this guy around. Shinigami could misdirect mortals into bad circumstances, yet… he didn’t think he wanted to do that to this one. Were there any way he could help the man and still be able to see him? He growled at the ceiling in frustration. He knew he was taking too long to respond. Now the human probably wouldn’t believe him. But what was he supposed to say. If Light went away no one would be talking to him anymore.

  
  
Finally, Ryuk muttered a half-hearted, “You’re gonna hafta find an occupant I like.” That would be hard. Ryuk hated, almost universally, all humans.

Light hummed, thinking that it couldn’t be  _ that _ hard to find another human or humans appealing to the shinigami. “Oh don’t worry, anyone interested in the house will come and take a look at it. So you’ll get to see them.” He snorted as he finished the last bite of his lunch and put it away. “I guess it will be like a job interview, except they don’t know it.” It wouldn’t make unloading this house any easier, but Light never shied away from a challenge. He stood up and pointed to the bowl of apples. “Did you get enough? I’m going to start cleaning upstairs so if you need more, speak--or  _ write _ \-- now or hold your peace.”

Ryuk floated a good distance back to crouch over a high bar stool then chose to briefly reveal himself again, “I’m always up for more apples but let’s get to work, I appreciate what ya did for me.” 

“It’s no problem. There’s plenty.” Light hesitated as Ryuk revealed himself unexpectedly, but he was more used to it now, at least knew what to expect.  _ Damn, I really don’t want to get on his bad side.  _ He took the bowl back outside and picked some more apples, setting them on the table again before hauling all his supplies up the creaky stairs. It was slightly demoralizing to see rot and decay everywhere he looked, especially since this had been such a grand home at some point. But that only strengthened his resolve to bring it back to its former glory. That, and the thought of the look on Higuchi’s face when he’d sold the house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always thought Light wasted such a good opportunity to pump Ryuk for intel about his world and shinigami. He won’t pass it up this time.


	3. Parlor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light gets paid a visit by the Realtor King, and receives his first potential buyers. Everything couldn’t have gone worse, but there was a silver lining. A new sign out front grabs the attention of a ghost hunter.

Kyosuke Higuchi scoffed into the back of his hand, looking at the ostentatious “For Sale” sign outside the cursed property he’d tried to unload for a full summer unsuccessfully. hHis pavée diamond large-face Rolex glinted in the sunlight, and his Emporio Armani suit was crispy ironed so he knew he looked just the right amount of intimidating for this visit. 

  
As much as he had no desire to return to what was surely one of the unluckiest properties in all of Europe, it seemed DELICIOUS that the upstart Yagami kid had been tasked with selling it. He’d done all he could through his network of influential clientele to make sure no serious buyer would so much as darken the doorway. A little rubbing it in couldn’t hurt.    
  


He didn’t ring the doorbell, someone had left all the doors wide open to air it out with fans. How rich! Was Light Yagami cleaning this gross place on his lonesome?

  
  
He walked up behind Light who was oiling the wooden bannister of one of the staircases in the grand entryway, “Boo!” He cackled. 

“Ah!” Light whipped around, ready to tell Ryuk off when the glare on his face melted into dismayed surprise.  _ Ugh.  _ He straightened up to his full height, sniffing a little as he took in his overdressed rival. “Higuchi. Feel free to let yourself in.” He picked up a clean towel and rubbed the oil from his hands, immediately on guard as to what the self-proclaimed ‘Realtor King’ was doing here. Icily, “Did you stop by for a friendly little chat?”  _ Fat chance. _ Light knew Higuchi was sour after not being able to unload this house himself, and he now wondered if Ryuk had sabotaged those efforts deliberately. 

Higuchi sneered as if the idea he’d stop by for a chin wag was preposterous. “Whatever you need to tell yourself, kid. Say, I’m just here to tell you that if the Realtor King couldn’t sell this place  _ you _ don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell. Your father has never outsold me. Your sister doesn’t even class. But you? You should know that no respectable family in a 300-mile radius of here will visit for love nor money. My influence is  _ that _ far-reaching. Do yourself a favor. Stop playing maid and go sell some half-million pound properties. You know, things you have some hope of with your little two-bit  _ family business _ .” 

Light leaned against the burnished banished, arms crossed in front of him as he listened to Higuchi’s tiresome prattle. “I’d say it looks a bit better than when you tried-- I mean  _ failed _ \-- to sell it.” He looked around the foyer which was indeed gleaming, although Light seemed to have absorbed most of the dust and dirt. “300 miles, you say?” He cocked an eyebrow in mockery of being impressed. “I suppose it is a lucky thing that the world is such a wide place after all. Anyway, I have some prospects coming by this very  _ afternoon _ .” He gave Higuchi a sweet smile, “From only 35 miles away.”

  
Higuchi snorted in disbelief, giving Light a cold once-over, the man was covered in grease. “No one with the money to buy this place is coming kid, but entertain all the penniless gawkers you want. Sure they’ll come through looking as much a wreck as you do. Not that someone green as you will pick up on it.”

“I’ve apparently entertained one gawker today already. What’s a few more?” Light pushed off the stairway and peeked out the window, snorting at the ostentatious Benz in the driveway displaying a logo of Higuchi’s crowned smug face, with a huge ‘SOLD’ sign. He went to the door, seething at that quip about his appearance. “So, if you don’t  _ mind _ , I have work to do before they get here.” He bowed low with a sarcastic flourish towards the door, “Your  _ majesty _ .”

  
  
Higuchi gave a wide, cruel smile because in his estimation he was royalty and some people needed to be reminded they were his peons and lessors. 

  
  
Ryuk had been watching this uninvited exchange take place and had been momentarily amused by it. But when he realized the human was the same who’d made Light so uncharacteristically unruffled earlier, as well as the same human who he’d seen pop in and out a few times a summer ago (typical coward, could be run off with some electrical shenanigans) he growled low. Light was hitting back without looking the least bit upset but no one should talk to him like that! He’d been working hard! Well - Ryuk knew just how to shut a gross human up. 

  
  
“Realtor King O-” Higuchi started and Ryuk phased into him, making his body chilled to the bone, the specter of Death upon him. Higuchi convulsed in fear, and sputtered in agony.   


Light gasped and rushed towards the man, thinking he was having a seizure or a heart attack. Of course he’d imagined Higuchi dying horribly every time the ‘Realtor King’ had poached a sale from his family, but an actual dead body when potential buyers were on their way would be highly inconvenient. Without thinking, he grasped Higuchi by the shoulders (which had the side-effect of getting dust, grease, and dirt all over the man’s expensive suit) but as soon as he did, whatever had been happening  _ stopped _ . “What in the HELL is wrong with you?!” Higuchi’s flailing had knocked over an antique Tiffany lamp, shattering the colorful glass all over the foyer floor.

  
  
As soon as the feeling of mortal terror passed Higuchi looked at Light with wide accusatory eyes, “It’s NOTHING! Hands off my s-s-suit!” It was custom, more than this kid’s net worth.”I’m o-out.” He caught his breath but moved toward the door, needing to leave because he’d felt POSSESSED by something awful. “You’ll see this place really is c-cursed!” He croaked as he bolted. “I’m s-sending your company my dry cleaning bill!”   
  


“Stick that bill up your ass, Higuchi!” Light yelled out the door, “The only thing cursed is that cheap toupee!” But the wheels of the Benz were already squealing down the long driveway, cutting track marks the sod Light had only just laid down this morning.  _ Dammit!  _ He huffed in fury, turning on his heel to survey the broken glass he’d now have to clean up before the prospects got here. “Oh nooo….that was really valuable…” He slumped down to the floor with a frown, which only deepened the more he thought about what had just happened.  _ Ryuk _ . “Alright you. Come out and fess up.”

  
  
Ryuk’s eyes widened because when Light said, ‘come out’ the veil between realities dropped. A bond? He thought only the Death Note could be the Bond between human and shinigami. He’d not have chosen this particular juncture to reveal himself… it wasn’t his best moment. He stood with with wings lowered looking guilty because Light now seemed more upset about the loss of part of an attractive property than he had about that windbag paying him a visit. Ryuk couldn’t stand one more word out of the greasy weasel. “Uh…” His wings lowered more, feeling like a screw up, “Shoulda held ‘im down too I guess…”

Light’s expression softened at the guilty look on Ryuk’s face when the shinigami suddenly appeared. He was surprised that he actually chose to show himself rather than just ignore Light.  _ I guess he thought he was helping _ . “That guy was here before, huh?” He sighed and went to get the dustpan, carefully sweeping all the glass into it. “I guess I can’t blame you if you met him before. He really is insufferable.” He righted the lamp and then stashed it in the closet, since there was no time to do anything else right now. “I admit the look on his face was pretty funny…” Light gave Ryuk a sly little smile but didn’t want to encourage that kind of behavior. “But that kind of thing might get me into trouble. What if someone thought  _ I _ assaulted him?” Higuchi was just the kind that would make a fuss, too. He was friends with more personal injury lawyers than Light even knew existed in York.

  
  
Ryuk whispered, “Ah Light-o… Wasn’t tryin’ to sabotage ya. I forget about how this world works, so many rules... I…” He looked down, “Just couldn’t bear the way he was yappin’ at you was all.” He paused, “Lemme see that lamp, would ya?” _  
  
_

“The lamp?” Light gave him a puzzled look but drug it back out of the closet. “You don’t...think you could fix it, do you?” _  
_

Ryuk took it in one large hand and held the glass pieces in the other, he crushed them and sprinkled them above in a glittery rain over the body of the lamp, “Can’t make it the same but I…” The lamp transformed into something that no human could ever hope to create, a massive lamp of bone and feathers, “Can do somethin’ like this?” He sighed because shinigami could not recreate mortal things, they made the trappings of their home realm when expending their magic like this. “That help?” He asked curiously.

“Whoa…” Light stared in amazement at the lamp’s transformation, poking at it hesitantly.  _ I wonder what Tiffany would think about THAT? _ It was both grotesque and beautiful, and seemed to emit light without even being plugged in. “I, uh…” He walked around it a few times to try and find the source of the energy but came up empty. “I don’t think we can pass it off as an art nouveau lamp anymore.” That made him laugh quietly, and he picked it up and placed it close to the piano. Having another enormous piece of furniture helped it blend in. “Maybe American Gothic. A real conversation piece, mmhmm.” He tilted his head and nodded, thinking he quite liked the look of it. “Thanks, Ryuk. That does help.”

His phone beeped and he glanced at it, swearing softly. “Shit, they’re going to be early. I gotta get a shower.” He dashed towards the stairs to make use of the single (as yet) functional bathroom, but turned on the stairs and pointed to the apples on the table. “Remember, you promised a haunting-free hour.” The prospects were a young Earl and his fiancee, so they surely had enough money for this place, right?  _ Can’t wait to prove Higuchi wrong. _

\----

Forty-five minutes later, Light was looking like his beautiful, well put-together self in the foyer. He’d laid out expensive tea and homemade scones on the long dining table which was festooned with roses he’d gathered from the yard. The house really had lovely grounds and gardens once some pruning shears and a mower revealed it. The doorbell sounded and he turned to Ryuk in a hush, “Here they come.  _ Please _ behave.” He made a shooing hand motion towards Ryuk and opened the front door, only to have all his words of greeting fall from his mouth. He’d been expecting the Earl and his wife, but there were a dozen people meandering around the front porch.

He recovered quickly, putting on a bright smile. “Welcome, I’m Light Yagami, the realtor you spoke with on the phone.” He stepped aside to let the entire processional into the house, eyeing the small handbags some of the people were carrying.  _ What’s those growling noises coming from in there? _ “Ah...feel free to have a look around. There’s refreshments in the living room.”   


The Earl of Leischester and his wife Petunia were accompanied by their 9 favorite show chihuahuas. Suitable attendants carried them in leather bags while they were here to look at a property large enough for their esteemed Dog Shows. The lawn, on inspection, had passed muster but Petunia had been quick to point out the location right beyond the outskirts of town was a splendid place for an investment property, perhaps, she’d simpered, one of those Golf Clubs for common folk. 

  
  
Their ‘babies’ growled to be in unfamiliar territory and the Earl tapped his cane against the floor expectantly, “We’ve not much time Mr. Yagami. And my wife and I only receive meals prepared by our personal chef, besides we’ve heard that this place is a bit of a money pit, and I can’t imagine you have the means to properly entertain us at the moment.”

  
  
Petunia laughed at her husband being so frank. She cleared her throat, “Primarily we’ll expect to be shown the main rooms of the home, then we will extend for you a… suitable offer.” The dogs growled louder to hear their ‘mummy’ speak. 

  
  
Light’s smile flickered at the Earl’s condescending tone but as soon as he heard the word ‘ _ offer _ ’, well, he was content to ignore their haughty airs (and the plethora of growling handbags) and close this sale. He could insult them later when he was drinking his victory champagne by the ‘sold’ sign. “Yes, of course. I’m sure you must be very busy. I’ll give you the highlight tour then and briefly point out the main features.” This would be something of a logistical feat since there were now 12 people milling about. He sidestepped the crowd and ushered them into the parlor, beginning the tale of the house’s origins and the craftsmanship, but didn’t get far before he was cut off by the Earl. 

“We’re not interested in any of  _ that _ . How much acreage does this estate have, hmm?”

  
  
“Um...it’s approximately 14 acres, according to the city’s land deed.” Light gave them a curious look, because what kinds of home buyers weren’t interested in knowing about the home?

The Earl leaned forward on his cane, “It’s not a fashionable property, but no matter. Even if we can’t see ourselves residing here the location seems quite aligned with our needs.” He gave a tight smile, “Go on show us then. Surely they pay you something for all this trouble.”

“Well, sir, I was trying to…” Light hid his annoyance and moved them to the dining room, which was a highlight of the house. He pointed out the built-in cabinets, the 14-person seating, and the enormous marble fireplace at one end of the room that had been carved with devilish-looking cherubs. After that, he only made a brief stop in the kitchen which, while large enough to have fed an army in the 18th century, was woefully out of date. “Obviously some...effort will need to be made to bring all the modern amenities into this home.” He stepped in front of the wood-burning stove to try and hide it. “Although that just presents an opportunity for you to really make it your own.” He didn’t have much hope the couple possessed much personal style, but that wouldn’t be his concern.

Petunia coughed harshly into a tight little fist, “Darling, I think I’ve seen enough! Haven’t you?”

  
  
The Earl, seeing his wife was finished in her assessment, knowing her taste was impeccable said, “But you like the land, boopie?” 

  
  
“Obviously.” She replied and reached into one of the bags to pluck out a spotted chihuahua who looked ill at ease in the boney nook of her arm. “Mr… Yagami… was it? We’ll offer you the price of the land in York minus the cost of removing this eyesore. Dear, a ball-park estimate?”

  
  
“3 million pounds or thereabouts, I’d say.” He looked to Light as if he’d given him a very generous offer, though it was a fraction of the worth of the property. “Our accountant will make the adjustments as necessary.”    
  


“Remove the…” Light finally registered what they were here to do-- raze the house and build something else on the land. And their offer was downright offensive! The house alone had been appraised for well over 4 million pounds and was full of historical architecture and antiques!  _ I want my FULL commission you pompous prats. _ “Ah, I  _ thank _ you for your interest but I’m afraid that the house itself  _ would _ have to be included in the sale price. This is the sale of an entire estate.  _ Not _ just the land.” He saw Ryuk out of the corner of his eye, glowering in the corner. Now that he thought about it, would destroying the house free the shinigami or have some other, negative effect? 

  
  
Ryuk hated this. He’d only had the astonishing pleasure of Light’s company a couple of days and the property was already being negotiated for sale. Also, if these old farts demolished it, they’d likely take him out with it. He wanted to humiliate them for even thinking about it, but considered his agreement with Light in return for the bounty of apples. And Light would look sad again. Twice in one day... That wouldn’t do. Besides, it looked like the deal was too little for Light to accept it.

  
  
“A negotiating man I see.” The Earl replied evenly, “Now, we can’t blame a seller for trying to pad the price, but you should know my wife and I came here in spite of significant warnings. And it was most easy to research and learn the house has been on the market for two years. Face facts Mr. Yagami - an offer is better than none. We can pay you in a lump sum as well. That might mean an early vacation for someone like you, eh?”

  
  
_ Someone like ME? _ Light was boiling mad now, ready to throw the whole passel of posh fools out of the house if he had to suffer one more insult. He smiled tightly, but it was obviously fake. “I’ll relay your offer to the owners, if you like. Feel free to have your accountant send it over.” He had no intention of passing their offensive offer to the owners unless he really received no other interest. “Oh, look at the time. I’m afraid I have another appointment soon.” He laughed easily, stepping around the entourage on his way back to the foyer.

  
  
Ryuk’s feathers puffed out in concern, if Light sold the home to these intolerable people it would likely be his end, and what a stupid way to go out. Although a minute ago he’d been sure the offer was far too low to be entertained by someone as proud as his new friend, it sounded like… Light Yagami was willing to take anything just to unload it… to unload  _ him _ .

  
  
A promise was a promise, but Ryuk blew through the room unable to look at Light pawning him off any longer, and unintentionally the chill of wind following his rapid movement sent the dogs into a chorus of frenzied discordant barking. The one in Petunia’s arms bit her to escape and run up the staircase away from the eerie wind. Petunia shrieked and held her bleeding right forearm, “Somethings upset the boys!” Her voice was shaky and the Earl glowered at Light. “They all told us this house was haunted but we didn’t believe it! Now...oh poor Precious! Alone with ghosts!”

  
  
“My boy, did you leave all the windows open in this drafty monstrosity! IRRESPONSIBLE TOMFOOLERY! Look how you’ve frightened even our Kennel Club prize-winners. Precious has never bitten anyone before!”

“I...no! Oh!!” Light looked around in horror as the gusts of unnatural wind set his carefully stacked brochures flapping throughout the house. He groaned inwardly as one of the mutts raced up the stairs and none of the useless servants made any move to go after it. “Precious!” He turned to the irate Earl apologetically, “Sir, I don’t know what happened to set them off. All the windows were closed!”  _ Yes I do, and he’s in big trouble! _ “I’ll go get Precious.” He clamoured up the stairs, taking two at a time, and followed the sounds of demonic yipping into one of the bedrooms. “Precious…” He called softly and nearly grabbed the dog but it wiggled away. “Come here you little rat!” He had to scoot half-way under the bed to finally seize the animal, coating himself in dust all over again.  _ Why didn’t I vacuum UNDER the bed _ ? “Gotcha!” 

The animal was not happy to be apprehended and Light was nearly ready to just punt it back downstairs like a football when he felt tiny fangs sink into his hand. “Nnnhg! Ow…” But the Earl and his entourage were excited enough so he took a deep breath and calmly made his way back downstairs, Precious in his vice-grip so he wouldn’t get another bite. “Here’s the little prize-winner, safe and sound.” Light stuffed it back into the handbag with a forced smile on his face, and made sure the zipper was  _ closed _ .  _ I know I closed those windows! _ “My sincerest apologies. I hope this, ah, disturbance won’t affect your opinion of the house.” He hid his bleeding hand behind his back, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of seeing it.

  
  
“It only reinforces our opinion you are trying to sell a property fit only to demolish, young sir. Good day. You’ll receive our offer by facsimile, diminished I’m sure you understand and minus Petunia’s hospital bill.” The Earl rapped his cane against the hard wood floor putting the servants at attention. They surrounded his wife escorting her to the first in the brigade of white Rolls Royce parked outside.

  
  
Light maintained his composure until all the cars were halfway down the drive, then turned around, fists balled, and let out a mighty tension scream into the house. “AgghhhGHHH!” After all his hard work, all his big words to Higuchi, and all he was going to have to show for it were two likely exorbitant bills and a ‘conversation piece’ lamp. The day couldn’t have gone worse. “Fucking hell!” He stomped around the room, which smelled decidedly of dog, picking up all his brochures and slamming them onto the table. He placed his hands flat on the table, breathing in deeply to calm himself down. The place where he’d been bitten stung-- Precious was more of a force to be reckoned with than he’d though. Murmuring under his breath, “You promised.” He called louder into the house, “You gave me your word!”

  
  
Ryuk perched on the rafters, not wanting to be too close to Light and witness him angry, but also not feeling much like apologizing for saving his own hide, “Light, I’ll help you where I can, I swear to ya, but I’m affixed to this damnable house. Y’know, kinda hard for a guy to hear you talk about offin’ ‘im so casually!”

“‘Off’ you?” That answered the question Light had asked himself before, about what effect knocking down the house would have on Ryuk. He closed his eyes in exasperation because it was really difficult to try and communicate anything to a spectral entity caught in their own strange predicament. Light went into the kitchen to wash up his injured hand, scrubbing it fiercely. He felt angry but more at himself than at Ryuk. It was humiliating to have to simper and smile to such wretched people just to make a sale.

Quietly, “I wasn’t really going to send their lowball offer to the owners. It was insulting. I only told them that to get rid of them.” He wrapped a clean tea towel around his hand opened his eyes and dejectedly sat at the dining room table, pouring himself a cup of the fancy tea nobody had bothered to try. “I could have explained to you after they left but you just made everything worse.” Light cringed at the thought of the threatened hospital bill; even though he was doing well in his sales, it wasn’t fair  _ he _ should be saddled with that expense.  _ I bet they have some exorbitant private doctor, too. Shit. _

  
  
The Death God considered this a moment, “I think we need a signal, then, Light-o. Because I can’t promise to behave around humans like those. But…. I bet I could’ve stayed still if I’d known you weren’t gonna offer the deed!” Ryuk chuckled, “Also I was being pretty good. What I had wanted to do was pants Mr. Fancy pants and pour hot candle oil from the rafters.” Ryuk caught Light’s stern look, “I mean good for a Death God.” 

  
  
He floated down and materialized fully for Light, because he was already through with the first cup of tea and needed more, he poured it without asking, “I’m sorry, if that means anything. I won’t go back on my word, but I can’t say I wanna die.” 

  
  
Light smoothed his ruffled hair out of his face, nodding glumly at the suggestion of a signal. “Yes, you’re right. I guess...if someone comes by again and there’s no chance of accepting them, I’ll give you a thumbs-down so you’ll know.” A smile flickered across his face at the new cup of tea, and he glanced up at Ryuk in momentary surprise that he’d heard a shinigami  _ apologize _ . He sipped the tea, thinking it was quite good actually. “It’s our guests who haven’t behaved themselves today, Ryuk. You probably gave them far less than what they deserved, and I’d have been cheering you on if I didn’t have to worry about the consequences.”

“Mortals like that make me itch for a pen and a Note.”   
  


“Note?” Light gave the shinigami a puzzled look. “What do you mean?” He reached into his coat and pulled out a pen, offering it to the shinigami. It was emblazoned with his company logo-- Yagami, Yagami, and Yagami Realty Company-- with a little golden apple on the end to click the ink. “Have a pen though, got plenty of them.”

It depressed Ryuk to think on his one power gone, and though he wanted to rock Light’s world by telling him the story of how Death Gods could change fates and futures with the flick of a pen, the fact was he could do none of those things anymore. Still he stared in dumbfounded gratitude at the pen with Light’s last name and his favorite fruit adorning it, and replied, “I’m not so great at explainin’ stuff. Just old god talk, I guess.” He let his wings collapse into his back as he clicked the ball head of the pen several times excitedly, “We don’t got any pens like this where I’m from…”   
  


Light giggled into his tea, pleased that his little gift had made Ryuk so excited. “Bet shinigami write in blood or something, right? Use the carved metatarsels of their victims as pens?” He sat back in his chair and shoved the brochures away, dragging the plate of crumpets closer. “Want one? Nobody  _ else _ is coming today so we might as well eat them.” There weren’t any apples in them, though, but Light had made them himself. He nibbled a bite, waiting until he’d swallowed to speak again, “Plus, I like hearing about your ‘old god talk.’ Who else gets to hear that kind of stuff?”

  
  
Ryuk eyed the crumpets suspiciously, “Those don’t look like anything from my world. Don’t think I got the stomach for that… but if you’re offerin’ that’s kinda a contract I guess..” He took one in careful talons and bit cautiously at a corner, his eyes went bright yellow as if he were seeing stars, and he unceremoniously dumped the entire rest of the basket into his mouth as he chewed five remaining crumpets wildly, “Human food is amazing, Light-o!” 

Light leaned a cheek onto his hand, grinning at all the crumpets disappeared down Ryuk’s gullet. It felt good for someone to appreciate them after he’d been so rudely snubbed by the Earl and his wife. “Guess you like more than just apples, then. I’m a pretty handy cook if you want me to--” He trailed off, remembering that he neither actually lived here nor was Ryuk free to follow him to the nicely-appointed kitchen in his downtown loft. “I can bring something else next time I come.” He chewed his lip as he looked around, wondering how much effort he should really put into further improving the house if Higuchi had sabotaged him so thoroughly. “But to be honest, I don’t have any other people lined up who want to take a look.”

  
  
Ryuk shifted very far into one side, “Light-o, can I ask ya something a little awkward ‘fore we address how you are going to get a buyer in here?”

  
  
“Um… I guess so.” Light wasn’t sure what a death god would consider to be ‘awkward,’ so he was on his guard.

  
  
“Right uh… can I sheesh... can I…” Why was he having such trouble with this, “hold your hand? The hurt ‘un. I swear it’s for a good reason!”

_ What good reason could THAT be?  _ Light shifted in his chair but, after a moment, tentatively pulled his hand out of the towel and offered it palm-up to Ryuk, keeping his eyes trained on him warily. “Please don’t turn my hand into a conversation piece, ok?”

  
  
Ryuk cackled at that mental image, as if he’d do anything to mess with perfection, “Promise ya, no funny business, just totally normal,” He took Light’s hand in his own obscuring it entirely, “hand-holding.” He let the power of his sacrifice flow outwards into Light and shed some of his feathers in the process - the loss would be permanent but it was small. He felt it heal before he saw it, immediately removing his hand as not to be untoward. Though touching Light felt like some sweet forbidden thing, he liked the man too much to make him uncomfortable. “Good as new. Sorry I didn’t kill that critter. This is as best I can do for now.”   
  


Light blinked as he marveled at his hand, turning it back and forth rapidly. “Wow!” Looking back up to Ryuk, he smiled genuinely-- the pain was gone and it felt like the first good thing that had happened all day. “A death god that can heal? Isn’t that...against your nature or something?” It was then that he noticed more than a few feathers on the ground, and he asked, “That cost you something, didn’t it…” He wasn’t sure why that made him feel a little guilty, and didn’t understand why Ryuk would bother. Before he second guessed himself, he asked pointedly, “Why would you do that? Heal me. Or kill that dog-- which by the way, I don’t want you to do that.” He laughed at the partial lie. “It’s the owner’s fault it’s like that, not the dog’s, I guess.”  _ Did that sound like an invitation to kill those rude people? Heh. _

  
  
“Don’t worry ‘bout it. Hey. You’re pretty sharp ‘bout this Death God stuff already when I’ve barely told ya anything.” He said impressed, “Look I made a contract with you, of sorts. If I get you into trouble because of that contract it’s my duty to… take care of the problem…” There were no such obligations for the Death Gods but the alternative was to try to say the many things fogging up his mind, making his head fuzzy with unfamiliar feelings, “ ways I know how might be a little rough-handled for a mortal.” His smile grew very wide, “You could say I’m holding back cuz I don’t mean to run you off.” He was being held back. Freaking Justin Armonia and his obsession with observing the rules above just being a decent fellow shinigami. As if he’d never shared one of those awful cigars with him. He wasn’t holding back from acting at all. “I hope you’ll stick around for a bit. You’re pretty fun.”

“Fun?” Light didn’t see what was fun about scrubbing and fussing over this old house, enduring the likes of Higuchi and those buyers. “Trust me, there’s a lot more fun people out there than a struggling realtor. Wait--” He gave Ryuk a worried look, “I hope that doesn’t mean you’re planning on playing some pranks on me. I hope not, anyway.” He looked at his hand again, considering how genuine the shinigami was. Weren’t ghosts supposed to be a menace? Drive people batty and ruin their lives? It made him nervous to hear the shinigami speak of contracts, like Light had terms and conditions to fulfill, maybe ones he wasn’t aware of. “Anyway, thank you. For healing me. It feels a lot better.” 

He picked up the empty crumpet basket and tea set, taking them into the kitchen to clean them and put them away. Light thought he probably should go back to the office or home, think up some strategy for getting buyers, and was just stalling now. 

Ryuk observed Light cleaning up, first watching him then set in to helping him as well. Drying the wet dishes with one wing swiftly. “I think this is fun!” He laughed. “Wait where do these treasures go.”

“The ‘treasures’ go in there.” Light pointed to a china cabinet fronted with beveled stained glass, charmed that Ryuk was helping in his way. He turned back to the dishes and mused, “Kinda wish I could buy this place. Sure has a lot more character than my barren loft.” _ And I don’t mind-- _ He stopped in the middle of scrubbing the teapot, slightly shocked that he’d said that out loud. It was surprisingly nice to have some domestic company, even of the spectral variety. “I mean, I could never afford it.” 

  
  
Ryuk looked downtrodden, because Light had just told him why his dream scenario wasn’t realistic, “Money. Humans need money. Right.” He couldn’t get Light any. Not without his Death Note. He seemed lost in thought and he took to standing on his hands in frustration. “If you sell this place you’ll make a lot of money huh?” He smiled, “Maybe someday when you are super rich you can buy it from the buyer! Huh? I’ll wait to see you!”

  
Light gave him a little smile but shook his head. “No, it doesn’t work like that. I sell this house I get a commission-- like a little percentage of the sale price. Nowhere near enough to buy something this grand.” He placed the silver teapot in the cabinet and leaned against the wall. “Plus, you need to get back to your realm, right? That’s your home. I’m sure they miss you there.”

  
  
The idea of the other Shinigami missing him was as foreign to Ryuk as it was natural to Light. He wanted to make it back to his Realm sure. But it seemed like so many shinigami throughout history his fate was lost to the minutiae of the Rules. He decided then, looking at this small and vulnerable human, who needed this ‘money’ stuff and was the first other being Ryuk might  _ actually miss _ , to just do what he could. To just… help the man. He flipped back onto his feet completing a backflip, “We’ll get you that commission, Light-o! And you’ll go on to get lots more. Guy like you. Anyhow. Shinigami stuff is real boring.” He looked like he was having a light bulb moment. “Hey do you think a sign out front would help ya!? Like a bigger ‘un.”

Light tilted his head to the side, laughing in amusement as Ryuk righted himself. “I’m glad YOU have so much faith I’ll sell it.” But, the encouraging words lifted his spirits, and he needed that after the day he’d had. “A bigger sign, huh?” It was true that Higuchi prided himself on enormous signs, and he  _ did _ get results. “Sure, can’t hurt to try. But the one out front is the only one I have.” He peered out the window to look at it swinging forlornly in the autumn wind. It did look unimpressive now that he thought of it. “Should I go get it and see if we can improve it?”

  
“Yeah just bring it in here! We’ll make it memorable! Humans have terrible memories!”

“Alright! One moment then.” Light grinned and shrugged on his coat, striding down the long drive to uproot the realty sign and tote it back inside. He pocketed some apples from the tree as he passed them, finally feeling a little hopeful again. “Here we go.” He laid it on the parlor floor, sitting beside it to see what they might ‘improve.’ “Any ideas?” He tossed an apple to Ryuk, munching on one himself.

  
  
Ryuk “hmm’d” and then disappeared in a puff to reemerged with arms full of stock cardboard he’d found in the overfilled attic left over from the fleeing prior residents who’d left nearly everything they’d ever put in there, after he’d realized that was where he could scare them best. Humans seemed to think the source of all hauntings, was attics. He disappeared in another puff and set down buckets of white and black paint and industrial sealant. “We make it bigger! And it’s gotta get people’s attention! So we’ll think of a catchphrase.” He shifted from foot to foot, “We can do it together.”

Light tossed his coat onto the antique settee and rolled up his sleeves. “Bigger’s good.” He collected some of the sturdier pieces of board and opened the paint, but closed it up again quickly. “I don’t want to ruin the rug. Hold on.” He got up and collected newspapers from the closet--  _ wow, these are from 50-60 years ago! _ \-- and laid them under the sign in case any paint went awry. “There.” He laid out the boards where they could be attached. “Hmm. Now what should it say?”

  
  
Ryuk kneeled down hovering over it, “Maybe somethin’ like this?” He painted the sign in about 20 seconds, not realizing his quick ‘example’ would have taken two humans working together hours to stencil and then perfect, the sign read in Ryuk’s best English calligraphy, first what it had said before, “Yagami, Yagami & Yagami, 10 bedroom property. Call for estimates. 287-1238-8009,” and in glorious bold script under that, the addition of, “Not Haunted!” 

Light could do little but watch in awe as Ryuk whipped up the new sign in a matter of moments, and the finished product made him grin wide. All the information on the pen he’d given Ryuk was on the sign, along with accurate details about the house.  _ All but ONE detail _ . “Not Haunted?” He giggled but nodded, loving this direct approach. “Perfect. If we say it on a sign it has to be true right?” He fanned the drying paint with newspaper. “You’re good at that. I should have you make all my signs!” Light thought there was just one thing missing though. “Hmmm. I know this is going to sound silly but...well, Higuchi calls himself the Realtor King. I feel like I need a snappy name too.” He added hastily, “If just to annoy him.” 

“Y’know Light-o I’d say you’d make a pretty good Death God. Just don’t think that will move any houses for ya. I’m just saying, all Kings no matter how long they reign… fall to the Gods.” 

Light gasped excitedly, “The Realtor GOD! Yes!” He smirked down at the sign, picking up the paintbrush and embellishing the top portion with little wings and rays of heavenly light, adding ‘by the Realtor God!’ under the ‘For Sale’ portion. “Excellent idea, Ryuk.” He gave Ryuk a sly look as the shinigami’s first comments registered. “I’d make a good Death God, eh? Did you hear me talking to myself the first time I was here? When I got that call from Higuchi?” Light recalled saying some  _ candid _ things about wanting to bury Higuchi in the backyard, but hadn’t known anyone was listening. “I can’t  _ really _ do that.” He muttered quietly, the smile on his face still there, “Doesn’t mean I can’t think about it.”   


  
“Sorry ‘bout the supernatural hearing. Made me like ya right off the bat. Putting that bastard in his place,” which was  _ in the ground _ , Ryuk’s smile widened, he licked his teeth because the idea was too delicious to him, oh if he had his note, he’d never curse the man with its possession, but he’d bring his every wish to fruition. He took a brush again and changed the sign to incorporate Light’s new title, “The Realtor God.” up top, and into the design of it he worked a moon for the man’s name into the Os, and an almost imperceptible tiny white apple as the sentence’s stop. “Think we’ve got a winner.” He turned the sign to Light with a spin to make it air dry swiftly so he could finish with sealant after, “Don’t you?”

“It looks about a million times better.” Light was beaming as he stood up and took the sign. “I’ll put it out on the lawn right now.” He gave Ryuk a grateful nod, sauntering down the drive to plunk the sign back in the hole by the street. He wiggled it until it was firmly planted, then turned around to go back into the house.

The door had just closed behind him when a speeding, nearly broken-down Toyota Corolla came to a screeching halt a few yards past the sign.

  
L Lawliet, private detective and ghost hunter extraordinaire, worked the lollipop around in his mouth as he looked over his shoulder and popped the car into reverse.  _ Did that just say...NOT HAUNTED?  _ He had to get a better look at that singular sign. The Corolla slowly backed up and he left it idling as he got out to slouch towards the sign, sucking loudly on his candy as he “hmmm’d” to himself. He’d heard about the reputation of this house but it smacked of realtor-war rumor versus anything substantial. He lifted his grey eyes to the sprawling manor and jotted down the number on the sign. “Realtor God?” L snorted and hurried back to his car as it started to roll away.  _ Forgot the parking brake again! _ “Shit!” He leaped into the open diver’s door and did a rough U-turn, rubbernecking out the window as he drove past the old house again. Something felt off about it, and he had a sixth sense for these things-- he had to, or he wouldn’t have been the premier ghost detective in the world.  _ Couldn’t hurt to take a look _ .


	4. Dining Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The house’s new sign has drawn the interest of a famed ghost hunter (aka L Lawliet), who decides to make an appointment to tour the house and brings along some unconventional ‘home inspection’ equipment.

L breezed into his office in the back of a strip mall on the wrong side of York, kicking off his squelching-wet Crocs as soon as he stepped in the door from the pouring rain outside. “Morning Ms. Watari.” He was soaked to the bone as he’d forgotten an umbrella, as usual, despite the fact that it rained near-constantly in England. 

“Morning Mr--” Watari looked up from her old-school typewriter, a long cigarette pointing downwards with her frown. She lifted her red nails to stab it into a pressed-tin ashtray with a sigh. “Sir, how many umbrellas must I give you before you remember to prepare for the weather?” She stood up and retrieved a towel from the file cabinet and draped it over her employer’s shoulders.

“One more it seems.” L rubbed the towel over his wet hair, frizzing it out in all directions. “Don’t suppose there are any dry clothes.”

“Of course. In the bathroom as usual.” Watari mopped up the puddle and wet trail L left in his wake, lighting a new cigarette as she waited for L to come back out of the bathroom.

When he did come out, L didn’t bother acknowledging anything besides the house that had been plaguing his mind for the past two days. “Did you get those article clippings about that house I mentioned?” He fiddled with the globe on Watari’s desk, spinning it clockwise then counterclockwise on its brass axis.    
  


“They’re in your office, on top of the fifth stack of papers from the right.” She gave him a tight smile as she ashed her cigarette. “One day you’ll let me organize your desk, L, and that’ll make me the happiest woman in the world.”

“If that’s all it takes, then I suppose you won’t be wanting that raise you asked for this year.” L gave her an owlish look, he was joking but it was funnier to him to keep a straight face. Not that Ms. Watari didn’t know every one of his habits and mannerisms exactly; she’d been his secretary for the past 10 years, after all. She was one of the only people in the world who knew his true name and identity. Everyone else knew him as Eraldo Coil or Deneuve, depending on what  _ types _ of cases he was currently focused on.

“Mr. Coil, if you---” Watari broke off, arching a carefully penciled eyebrow. “That’s not funny.”

L snickered as he spun the globe once more and headed to his office. “Yes, it was.”

  
He examined the papers over the course of a few minutes, flipping through recorded conversations Watari had managed to procure, interviews or police logs into strange going-ons at the house. When the police would be called nothing would happen except in the background of some of the recordings. For example, one had a screaming woman saying her house had a “Ghost! A terrible specter!,” and a ruckus in the background had sometimes been annotated. 

  
  
Now L had seen faked “hauntings” before caused by jealous old partners or neighbors who wanted their neighbors long gone. But this case excited him. If these papers were any indication, the house was worthy of thorough investigation for not only had the previous occupants claimed it was haunted, but several notable real estate agencies had come into the position of being able to offer the property and had consequently declared it uninhabitable, despite the pictures of a Gothic Mansion in reasonable condition, if in mild disrepair, in a desirable part of York.

  
  
“Watari!?” He called, “You’ve left a picture of some actor on my desk. I informed you that we will no longer be casting anyone to disarm owners into letting us into abandoned and off-limit properties. My money seems to open more doors than that plan ever did.”

  
  
“Sir. That young man is the realtor you will need to call to be shown the property.”

  
  
“Name.” He barked awkwardly, mildly choking.

  
  
“Yagami, Yagami, & Yagami Realty. It’s a family business that’s been in operation for about 50 years. Japanese family that relocated to London three generations ago. They have made a successful life here in York.”

  
  
“His name,” L continued as if he hadn’t really heard anything but the first word, chewing his thumb mindlessly as he searched the man’s details online, “Japanese. Yagami-kun.”

  
  
“That’s a bit presumptuous to address a Japanese person with-”

  
  
“Shh, Watari I’m thinking now. It appears I must call Yagami-kun.”

\---

Light had just closed on one of his other (normal and unhaunted) properties and was heading back to his office when his cellphone rang. He glanced at the number as he walked along in the rain, perfectly dry under his sensible black umbrella. It was a number he didn’t recognize, but that was common enough.  _ Maybe a prospect. _ He flipped open his phone and answered it, “Yagami, Yagami, and Yagami Realty. Light Yagami speaking.” He stepped into his office, courteously leaving the wet umbrella outside to dry and nodding cordially to the secretary Mr. Matsuda on his way in.

“Hello Yagami-kun. I am Elon Spangler _. _ ” When silence waiting for the other person on the phone to get to their point, L explained himself, “I’m in the market for a,” he looked at his messy and excited notes, “Multi-acreage property in mid-York. A property of historical import would be preferred.”

“Oh?” Light smiled into the phone as he sat down at his desk and pulled the information about his golden goose closer. “Pleased to speak with you Mr. Spangler.”  _ What kind of name is that? Well, beggars can’t be choosers. _ “It just so happens that I have a gorgeous property on Brambleberry-Sutcliff Ashberry on Papaltree that might interest you. It’s an architectural masterpiece with a historic past, one of a kind, really.” He paused and asked tentatively, “If you don’t mind me inquiring, what is the price range for properties you are looking for?” The answer he’d received to that question had scared off every looky-loo call he’d gotten lately, but he didn’t want to waste anyone’s time (or get Ryuk riled up).

“Money is no object, Yagami-kun. When is the soonest you can show the property?” 

Light hid his excitement as he scrolled through his calendar.  _ Yagami-kun again?  _ He’d let the oddly familiar term slide-- perhaps this person was unused to Japanese honorifics. If money was no object, social niceties weren’t either. “Why it looks like tomorrow afternoon is completely free.” 

  
  
“I will meet you promptly at 1 pm.” L smiled a little private smile to be able to investigate so soon. “I have some tools I use to examine potential properties, to take down simple metrics, if you do not mind.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem.” In fact, it was a good sign to Light that a prospective buyer was interested in doing a home inspection this soon. Usually that came much later and only with serious interest. “I’ll meet you at 1 pm. The address is 666 Brambleberry-Sutcliff Ashberry on Papaltree. See you then.”

  
  
“Yes. Goodbye.” L weirdly ended the call with great gravity. Then he went to arrange that his devices be transported from his lab in London as quickly as possible.

  
  
After the call, Light scribbled the new appointment into his planner, sitting back with a satisfied smile. This was the first real interest he’d had since the debacle with the Earl, and the bills for that unfortunate meeting had arrived this morning, adding to the several from Higuchi’s tailor.  _ Ugh. How am I supposed to give them 10,000 pounds for a dog bite? And 6000 pounds for a new Versace suit?  _ That would have lowered his mood tremendously but this person sounded both interested and rich. It was Light’s favorite type of prospect.

\----

It had been a painful few days of boredom for Ryuk without Light to keep him company. He’d oiled all the wood in the house to gleaming, but he couldn’t repair the mottled tapestries of the aging molding without transforming the look of the home. Having completed all he could for his new human friend he still had to amuse himself somehow. He’d just gotten four cockroaches in one place in the attic, figuring they could still hold a rally even without the dust. “Alright Cynthia, you are the crowd favorite, but we all know Itchy the Kid has kept the overall better record. Ready! Set! -” And just before his first annual clean-house-coackroach-rally, his ears perked to hear the lock on the first floor give.

  
  
“Light-o!” He arrived in a whirlwind, blasting the creaking open door back shut. Then he sheepishly opened it again, peeking around the corner to find Light in a gorgeous brown suit, “uh hi there.”

Light reeled back from the slamming door, only to smile when it opened again. “Hello, Ryuk. Miss me?” He strode inside, a hopeful smile plastered on his face as he hung up his coat on the antique coat rack in the foyer. He’d been psyching himself up all day, and just had a feeling that something good was going to come from this meeting. “Guess what? Someone’s coming by to take a look at the house today. Don’t worry, we can use the hand signals we discussed earlier if anything’s off.”

Before he set to tidying up anything or making refreshments, he pulled something from his briefcase and held it out to Ryuk. “For you. I know it probably isn’t as good as your old notebook, but…” Light smiled down at the black leather-bound blank book he’d picked up yesterday. “...you can probably draw in this one just as well. If you still have that pen I gave you.”

  
Ryuk took the notebook in one hand and smiled wider. It was so fun how his human thought he liked art, that this was what he wanted it for, “Whaddya mean as nice? It’s much better than the one I had! It’s perfect.” Ryuk pulled the apple click-pen out of a loop he’d made for it in his belt, “I’ll always have it, Light-o. I’ll make a place for this ‘un to go too. Thanks…don’t really know what I did to deserve it though.”

  
Light’s cheeks tinged pink that his present was well received. “I just wanted to say thank you for helping me with the sign the other day. And for fixing the lamp...and my hand.” When he put it that way, it was clear to Light that Ryuk had been much more of a help than a menace around here, hauntings or not. “Might give you something to do if you get bored. There’s a lot of pretty things in this house you could draw.” He smiled and met Ryuk’s eyes briefly before going into the kitchen to start a batch of crumpets with the groceries he’d bought. “I’m making apple crumpets this time!” He saw that the huge bushel of apples he’d gathered for Ryuk before he left the last time was empty, and made a mental note to get some more.  _ What will he do when it isn’t apple season anymore? Or when I’m not here to get them? _

As he preheated the oven and got to work, he said over his shoulder, “I haven’t met this potential buyer before. Just know his name’s Elon Spangler and he’s sounded kind of weird on the phone.” He snorted as he mixed ingredients, remembering that odd call. “Seems rich though. Said money was no problem.”

  
  
“A rich weirdo, hm. Seems that’s most the folks who come through. Hey. Can I help you make that?” Ryuk leaned in excitedly, “You sure are a handy cook.”

“Of course. Can you chop up the apples? Without eating them all?” Light grinned, adding, “You can eat a couple, but not all of them.”

  
  
Ryuk gave one small frustrated noise of longing during his task, but soon returned with a basket of chopped apple bits, “Take ‘em. I can’t look at ‘em anymore.”

Light laughed as he dumped the apple bits into the batter and stirred. “Trust me, it’ll be worth it when you taste my crumpets. I’ll set some aside for you.” After placing them in the oven, he made the rounds to tidy up the place but found it even cleaner than when he’d left before. “Ryuk? Did you dust while I was gone? Everything looks really nice already!” If that was the case then he’d have extra time to get himself ready and primp, making sure he looked his most fabulous before the client got here.

  
Ryuk scratched the back of his head, “Aw yeah, did what all I could. We’ve gotta contract!” He admitted, “Sorta.” 

“Well...thanks.” Light gave him a slightly puzzled look, but he was grateful. “See, isn’t it nicer when things are clean and pretty versus living in squalor?” That had certainly been the state of things when Light got here, but it was looking better every day. Maybe Ryuk was taking some pride in his home.

  
  
“Think an old fool like me can live just about anywhere, Light-o. But I wanted you to feel comfortable,” Ryuk laughed at himself, “Sorry ‘bout being a monster and all, but I can make the house look a little nicer for ya!”

Light stopped on his way up the stairs and slowly turned around, a serious look on his face. “Don’t ever apologize for what you are. Not to me. There’s monsters in the my world far worse than you.”  _ Like Higuchi. He’s bullied my family for years and scammed tons of clients into bad buys just to make a buck.  _ He turned back around, slightly sobered at that thought, given there was nothing a measly upstart realtor like him could do about that. Quieter, “I don’t see you like that anyway.” He went upstairs to get ready in the bedroom, leaving Ryuk downstairs. There was about 30 minutes before the prospect was coming over, but everything seemed to be in order.    
  


Ryuk felt a little taken aback that the human wanted to make him feel accepted. However, if Light Yagami had really known what all he were capable of, would the man still want his company? Still to see him as… a nice monster, how  _ ironic.  _ Ryuk had carelessly written the names of humans for millennia, had been responsible for illness, natural disasters, and countless small tragedies. He was no Nu or Justin Armonia. He hadn’t caused the great flood or the bubonic plague. But surely still, civilizations of men had fallen to his pen. He clicked Light’s apple pen softly, thinking that had he met a human like this before now, perhaps he would not have been so callous with their fates. 

  
He was too overwhelmed by this thoughtful compliment to say anything in response. He simply followed Light into a bedroom when realized the man was… about to get undressed, “Sorry I’ll go!” His voice grew strained and overloudly he blabbed,. “I’ve gotta rally to make happen!”

Light looked up from the vanity, catching sight of Ryuk in the mirror. But before he could say anything, the shinigami was gone.  _ A rally? _ He shook his head, turning back to the task of making himself impeccably perfect. 

Forty-five minutes later, fresh apple crumpets and tea were laid out on the dining room table, and Light was nervously checking his watch. “He better show up….” Light grumbled, noting that it was 20 minutes past the meeting time.

  
  
L had been outside the gates of the property fanning smoke rising from his engine, “Just don’t make them like they used to. That’s the fourth car this year.” He parked outside the gates so he and Light Yagami did not have to discuss this… minor inconvenience caused by a badly located mailbox. He adjusted his Observer hat and wheeled his Spectral Photometer and Paranormal Electrophoresiter up the hill to where he was meeting the impressively successful (for how young he was) Light Yagami. Light had, according to his research, sold 30 homes in York and surrounding areas, and was only at the beginning of his career. He must be a genius salesperson! It would be worth it to hear the man’s sales pitch, L wondered how he reeled people in with such ease.

  
  
He hummed to himself thinking these thoughts as the wheels of his ungainly tools clickity-clacked up the cobblestone road to the home. He could almost feel the eerie presence-- the sign which declared the house “Not Haunted” was laughable indeed. He’d really hit the jackpot this time! He looked at his phone, only 25 minutes late! Just a little further up this hill.

  
  
L knocked on the door with its brass knocker, a gunmetal lion’s head. How fascinating! He was just about to set the device up to monitor the spectral readings outside the door when he heard the latch give. He smiled his most sociable smile, but he did not remember to straighten his back to greet his host.

Light nearly dashed to the door when he heard the knocker, but it was somewhat of a strain to put a congenial smile on his face as he opened it. The tea was probably cold by now! Still, as the door swung wide, his pained smile naturally faded into one of honest curiosity. It wasn’t common for him to see people in York as singular and unique-looking as the man standing on the doorstep. After a beat, he regained complete composure. “Welcome, thank you for stopping by, Mr. Spangler.” He stepped aside to let the man inside, but had to move back even further as a procession of machinery followed in his wake. “Oh...that must be the home inspection equipment you mentioned on the phone.” Light’s toes barely avoided getting rolled over. 

  
  
“Yes! Yagami-kun you have a keen eye for science I see,” Though anyone with eyes would have commented on the strange looking devices, with their menacing metal coils and off-shoot whirly-gigs. “I always conduct a thorough investigation into the water and air quality of my properties. This would be my summer home should I purchase it. I’m sure you understand.” 

“Ah...of course. I also have contractors to do those tests, but…” Light peered closely at the machinery, which didn’t look like any water or air-quality sampling equipment he’d ever seen before. “...you’re welcome to do your own.” He closed the door and offered a handshake. “I’m Light Yagami, of course. Good to meet in person.”

L reached out to shake the man’s hand after his too-long and overly detailed intro. Then he looked up to catch his eyes, and it sent him momentarily breathless. How was this man real? The pictures hadn’t done him justice.

“Would you like some tea and crumpets?” Light motioned to the dining room, barely able to tear his eyes from the man’s intense stare. “I made them myself…” The ones he’d set aside for Ryuk had probably been spirited away by now, and he hoped that and the notebook might occupy the shinigami while he dealt with this guest. “Or we can start the tour right away.”

“I’d love some tea, Yagami-kun. Though I do hope you have plenty of sugar?” He followed the other man into the kitchen, the smell of the crumpets was scrumptious, “As I take 6 lumps.”

“Six!” Light blurted it out over his shoulder as he headed to the kitchen, quieting himself as he realized that was rude.  _ Well that just ruins the tea, but the English have odd habits. _ “Of course, let me get the sugar bowl.” He picked up an ornate but grotesque silver sugar bowl, featuring a gargoyle opening its wide mouth, and went into the dining room to pour the tea. He gave Mr. Spangler a look as he added  _ six _ spoonfuls of sugar and then handed the teacup to the man. “Here you go. Please try the crumpets too.”

“These are as good as Watari’s!” L exclaimed, genuinely surprised. The baked good was moist, the sweet apple taste delicately complementary to the salty dough, The butter melted quickly into a spongy texture, and the bite was airy, “My butler is, amongst her many other notable talents, is a fine patissier. I’d say if Realityrealty doesn’t end up being his passion I think Yagami-kun might be wise to open a bakery.” He sipped from his cup appreciatively and didn’t notice Light wince to see a person slurping tea that was more sugar than liquid.

_ A baker?! _ Light swallowed his scoff, because surely he was meant for bigger things than that. He did appreciate the compliment though. “Thank you. Although realty suits me just fine.” He filed away the detail that this person had a butler--maybe he really was as rich as he claimed despite the man’s shabby dress and decidedly un-posh demeanor. 

He glanced around to make sure that Ryuk was out of sight, but caught the shinigami peeking through the ceiling. Just then, L’s ‘air quality’ equipment made a loud beeping noise, multiple lights glowing red. Light gawked at it, “What’re your devices doing?”

  
  
Light didn’t need to ask. L had already stood up, “Your air quality here is… very good.” He said, and lifted a sort of thermometer into the atmosphere excitedly, “As expected. It’s showing great promise.” The device went mad. 

  
  
Ryuk couldn’t help himself he yelled through the ceiling at Light, “Why does that froggy lookin’ guy have medical devices all over our dining room for, Light-o? Plannin’ on givin’ your crumpets a surgical procedure?”

Light looked from the beeping equipment to Mr. Spangler in muted alarm, trying to ignore Ryuk’s presence.  _ That’s an odd coincidence that they went off as soon as Ryuk peeked in _ . “I’m...not sure exactly what you’re measuring.”  _ Or what kind of ‘promise’ the air here would have. _ “It’s just an old house. But there’s no radiation or anything like that, and I dusted it recently.” He poured himself a cup of tea, just to have something else to focus on. Why wasn’t the client asking any questions about the house, but rather just seemed much more interested in whatever his machines were saying?  _ I need to find out about that. Something’s off.  _ “I’d be fascinated to know how that works, actually.” Light pointed a graceful finger at the machine, giving Mr. Spangler a charming smile.  _ Let’s try a different tact. _ “Science is a passion of mine. Did you build that yourself? You must be quite talented.” His hand barely brushed Elon’s as he drew it back, and he tilted his head in interest. 

  
L tilted his head curiously at the other man, thinking, ‘what a direct question’. “I’m measuring qualities in the air which government regulators and home inspectors wouldn’t care to look for,” He put the probe into the atmosphere again. “A sort of quantum aeronautics, if you don’t mind. And of course I build my machines! I would trust no one else to do so.” 

“Quantum aeronautics? I don’t think I’ve heard of that field before.” Light was certain he hadn’t. What in the hell was this client up to?

L read the feed of the device, the spectral data was overloading it, “These readings are amazing. The… air here is… very good.” L sounded extremely suspicious with his long pauses as he typed his findings into his phone to send to Watari immediately. “Has… Yagami-kun noticed anything strangely… good about the air here?”

“I suppose it’s...good to hear that the air quality is high?” That’s not what Light would have expected given all the coughing and hacking he’d done cleaning this place. “But no, haven’t noticed anything unusual. Just a totally,  _ completely _ normal house.” His gaze flicked up to where Ryuk had been and thankfully the shinigami had retreated. The machines quieted down too, changing from a mad frenzy of light and sound to just a soft blipping noise.

  
“I see.” L said, disappointed in Light’s apparent lack of ability to sense the unknown, here he’d thought the man seemed truly exceptional. He hurried back to his seat to finish his crumpet and tea. “I must measure the other rooms in the home. And I’d like to ask to stay here overnight. At your soonest convenience.” For the Spectral Photometer to work it would need a full night’s reading. “I am fine alone and would pay you for your trouble.”

“Spend the night?!” Light exclaimed, somewhat aghast. “I...sir, I certainly want to satisfy your qualms about this house, but that’s out of the question. For one, you couldn’t be here unsupervised. The owners would never allow it.” The owners might not be so keen on this particular buyer in general, but Light also knew they were desperate to sell. “Can’t you conduct your...tests now?”  _ Ideally during this appointment since I’m not getting paid to babysit your experiments? _

_  
_ _  
_ _ Let the seller name a price, and ‘Mr. Spangler’ could pay it.  _ L sighed and stated his terms, “I can pay for your company too, if what the seller requires is my supervision. The devices simply don’t work without my constant oversight.”

  
  
Ryuk materialized in the seat beside Light and crossed his arms very tightly, “What the hell is this guy sayin,’ pay for your company?” 

  
  
The machine with the probe went wild and then short-circuited in a mad flash of light and a death knell of a long beep. If L had been holding any part of it he’d have been electrocuted to death. L gasped loudly and without thinking said, “It is,  _ it’s right here _ !”   


Light’s breathing quickened as he stared at the smoking machine, forcing himself not to look at Ryuk. That was no air quality tester, it was something else, something very sensitive to Ryuk’s presence. He feigned innocence, “What do you mean?  _ What’s _ right here?”

“I don’t  _ like _ this guy Light-o. I know we agreed on signals, but what’s he even sayin’ to you!?”

  
  
“I’ll pay whatever you need to spend time here! Just give me one night.” L couldn’t even bring himself to be upset about the Spectral Photometer if this property were truly haunted. If he could prove it, his fame would eclipse even Peter Venkman.

  
  
Ryuk growled, “Froggy here got a mouth on ‘im. You sure you don’t want me to toss ‘im? Couldn’t even enjoy Round Three of the rally.”

  
  
Light was conflicted, caught between his deep desire to sell this house and his (somewhat new) concern for Ryuk. Ryuk’s words clenched it for him. ‘ _ Froggy’ isn’t being honest with me.  _ Unless he wanted some catastrophic event like the last time, he should shut this line of inquiry down. “Sorry, that’s out of the question. Plus, it looks like your machine needs repairs.” He gave the device a disdainful look, standing up and fussing over the fanned display of sales brochures.  _ Hmmm. _ “The only way I’d even consider it was if there was a down payment on the house. Then... _ maybe _ .”

  
  
Light’s voice was so firm that L couldn’t help but sober up, “Very well, Yagami-kun. I cannot make you an offer on a house which I have not fully inspected. You cannot allow me to inspect the house. Then we have reached an impasse. But do let me know if you change your mind. Or if you will share anymore of your wonderful crumpets with me.” He went to wheel his devices out, he knew when he’d reached the end of his welcome. “It is a great property. I simply can’t be sure it is what I need without more data.” He paused, “If the… air and water is good. I will purchase it in full, in cash.”

  
  
“Damn... How ‘xactly are ya finding these people?” Ryuk observed flabbergasted, “What a rollercoaster this one is.”

Light was flabbergasted too, and watched Mr. Spangler heading towards the door with surprise. “What? I’m giving you a chance to inspect it right now and…” He hurried after the client, wondering what exactly had happened here. “...I didn’t even give you the tour!” But the strange man was already rolling his clanking, smoking machinery down the porch steps towards a beat-up old Corolla parked in the driveway.  _ Oh...he’s scammed me. No way is this guy as rich as he says _ . Light’s submissive expression changed to one of controlled anger, thinking that this person had not only wasted his time, made a ridiculous request, but gotten Ryuk into a tizzy too.  _ Ruined my tea and scarfed all my crumpets! _ His voice was icy, “Yes, well, once  _ you _ decide to collect your data in a reasonable way, I’m sure I’ll be happy to entertain your bank-validated offers. Until then, Mr. Spangler.” His lip curled slightly and he slammed the door, huffing in frustration at yet another cursed appointment in this house. 

  
  
L heard Light’s voice go cold, anger lacing his tone. But the anger wasn’t all that important, he’d have Watari call the owners. This could all be set to right and he’d do something nice for Light Yagami too. He hadn’t meant to upset the man.

  
  
“I’m sorry Light-o. I’m sure you’ll get it next time!” Ryuk encouraged after their prospective buyer took off, seeing Light’s dejected face after his righteous anger died down. He wanted to pat Light’s shoulder but his hand passed through. He was fading again, having used much of his magic to clean the house in preparation for Light’s next sales attempt. “Found a record player during the rally if you wanna hear some tunes?”

“Sure, why not….” Light slumped down at the dining room table and laid his head on his arms. Yet another time he’d gotten his hopes up only to be let down again. Maybe this place really was cursed, beyond just housing a shinigami. Maybe it was just bad luck, didn’t want to be sold. Or maybe Higuchi was right and he really was just a two-bit realtor who couldn’t hope to sell a house like this. “Some Realtor God I turned out to be, huh.”

“Not everyone knows how to talk to a god!” Ryuk replied, doing a cartwheel, before disappearing and returning with the record player, “Don’t worry about the blasphemers Light-o. We’ve got,” Ryuk lifted the record to read it, “Classical Jazz hits? Sounds nice.” Ryuk played the soft notes of “In A Sentimental Mood” and set to cleaning the mess dirty roller wheels had made of their floor.

  
  
Light was still there head in hands when he was done. He kneeled beside him and plucked a feather from his wing. “The Death Gods are bad luck, Light-o.” He handed him the feather, “This is my fault. But swear on my wings, when we sell this house I’ll bring you some good luck.”

Light turned his face towards Ryuk’s voice, lifting his head from his arms and taking the feather gingerly. It was nearly like a crow’s but not exactly-- for one, the shaft in the middle was metallic versus made of anything organic. It glinted iridescent in the dim light, greens and purples on oily black. “I think I’m just the bad luck.” He turned to give the shinigami a lame smile, “But thanks. Guess there’s nothing to do but try again.” He had a feeling he hadn’t heard the last of Elon Spangler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So L in this is both a world-famous shadow detective as well as a ghost hunter, but he doesn't want Light to know that quite yet. ;) And Light definitely hasn't heard the last of Mr. Spangler.


	5. Billiards Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light finds L with a dead car battery in the driveway and reluctantly invites him inside to call a tow, which leads to a high-stakes game of pool. But Light has more than luck on his side.

L revved the engine of his Toyota Corolla to no avail. The car was somehow trapped in neutral. He’d only accidentally tapped the bumper with that mailbox so he had no idea why the car was simply refusing to work. Ah, he didn’t have time for this. What was the name of the realtor who had previously had the right to sell this estate? If he could just get a reasonable business person on the phone he could negotiate to pay for an investigation into the home. 

  
  
He texted Watari, not that he was trapped in a stalled car slowly inching deeper and deeper into the muddy grass that led up to the property, but for the number of the competing realty company. He’d have Watari drop him off from his personal helicopter, the man would call the owners and that would be that.

  
  
Watari texted him that the number of “The Realty King”, and dialed as he hummed an 80s song to himself. He revved the engine and cussed some more. The wheels were now mired in mud.

  
  
The phone line played a greeting, “The Realty King will make your dreams of a perfect home come true right now! Please hold. His highness will be will take your message personally. All of our clients are royalty at the Realty King. No castle unsold!” It played again and repeated ad nauseum.

Higuchi had noticed the blinking light on his phone but he’d been in the middle of receiving an in-office foot rub and had been far too busy to bother with picking up the call. But by the time he’d kicked the masseuse out for agitating his bunion, an hour later, the light was still blinking. He sighed and picked up the receiver. “Realtor King. His Majesty speaking.” He heard some fumbling on the other line and said, louder, “The King is very busy, so if you have an offer to place or a property to put into our capable hands, speak up!”

  
  
L winced at his obnoxiously upper-class affectations, but felt pleased at the no-nonsense chance to make his offer quickly and clearly, “Hello Higuchi-san. I have reliable information that you have access to a property I am interested in-”

  
  
“If this is a long spiel it’s going to have to wait, friend. I can barely hear you.” It sounded as if the person on the other line was simultaneously driving a garbage truck and talking to him.

  
  
“10,000 quid for one night in one of your properties, Higuchi-san.” L yelled into the receiver, the wheels squelching miserably, “Do I have your attention!?”

  
  
Higuchi sat right up on his massage bed and his demeanor completely changed. 10,000 quid for one night anywhere was a bonus round at a few premium golf courses, “Certainly sir. Which of my castles are you seeking to overnight in?”

“666 Brambleberry-Sutcliff Ashberry on Papaltree. Do you know the one?”

Higuchi grimaced, he knew that property only too well. It was the cursed mansion he’d failed to sell last summer and that was now in the provenance of that upstart brat Yagami. “Indeed. Although I am not currently--” He stopped himself, weighting his last awful encounter at the house against the potential for a fat commission and the opportunity to rub the sale in Yagami’s face.  _ He still owes me for my suit he ruined!  _ He switched to his smoothest, oiliest voice, “I’m sure I could arrange a stay for you, sir, if you’ll be so kind as to sign some paperwork naming myself as your sole realtor.” He looked over at his computer screen and brought up his 987-page standard contract. “I’m happy to fax it over to you.”

“I’ll text you my secretary’s contact and she’ll respond right away.” Watari would take care of it and she could also send a car for him. This one was obviously a beater.

  
  
The voice grew even more obsequious at the mention of a servant, “Yes sir, certainly.” 

  
  
L hung up but first wanted to play a few rounds of Candy Crush, this had been a terrible day and he needed to distract himself. He ran the heater in the car because it was fairly cold out and lost himself for a while to the colorful puzzle game as he ate the emergency taffy store from his glovebox. 

  
  
He had almost reached a new all-time high score when his phone battery died. He fished for the charger and plugged it in when the lights in the car went out and heater turned off as well.

  
  
“Oh.” He said worriedly to himself, tying the taffy wrappers into knots, “Hm. There’s a sixty percent chance that Watari… does not know where I am.”

Light had stuck around the mansion a little while to revamp the upstairs bedrooms, giving everything a deep cleaning and laundering all the sheets. He’d been wary at how the embroidered linens would hold up to the surprisingly modern washer and dryer in the basement, but they’d come out fine and fresh. Two of the 12 bedrooms were habitable now, and it had soothed his nerves to do  _ something _ useful during this visit. Ryuk had no qualms finishing off the remaining apple crumpets, and as Light went outside to pick more apples for the shinigami to tide him over to the next visit, he noticed something strange from the porch.

He held up a hand and squinted, “Ryuk, doesn’t that look like Mr. Spangler’s beat-up wreck at the end of the driveway? I think it is!” Light snorted and headed down the long drive, turning on his keychain flashlight since the sun was setting and twilight beginning. A little ways further and he was certain it was still the prospect’s car, with the spikey-haired occupant none other than Mr. Spangler.

Light rapped on the closed window and when it was rolled down, he said, “Did you have some car trouble?” There was an air of irritation in his voice because  _ he  _ wouldn’t be able to get his own car out with this janky Corolla in the way. “Have you been sitting here all this time?” Their meeting was a couple hours ago! What had the client been doing sitting in a cold car since then?

  
“It appears my car has died,” L said glumly, looking at his steering wheel, “I’ve also run out of strawberry taffy.” This was certainly a career low-light for him.

Light bit his lip and tried not to snicker.  _ He seems more upset about running out of candy than about the car. _ “I see. I’m afraid I don’t have any taffy, but if you’d like to come back inside and use my phone, you’re welcome to. There’s probably some biscuits in there too.” While this was certainly a nuisance, Light was also eager to have another shot at making this sale. Mr. Spangler had left in such a hurry that they’d had no chance to discuss a compromise, but maybe this might be just what was needed to put the client in a better state for negotiations. 

  
  
“That’s alright about the taffy, Yagami-kun. I understand. The strawberry ones are hard to keep around. ...Can I bring my machines back in as well?” He replied imploringly. 

Light looked in the back of the Corolla, the seats of which were stained with some kind of machine oil and black grease. The machines in question were lying atop a pillow-like mountain of candy wrappers. “I...I suppose so.”

  
  
L smiled so brightly in response it was as if nothing bad had ever occurred between them, with quick hands he began to reassemble the strange machines for use. The wrappers fell like leaves across the driveway as the strange man worked, “The data I have collected at this property is incredible. Thank you Yagami-kun, even in the time spent charging my phone I’m sure I can get more valuable information. You have a very… special property here.” He additionally pulled out a here-to-now unseen hat and obscured his mop of hair under its metallic sheen. It looked like some futuristic beer hat re-envisioned with metal and gyroscopes. It was… in a word, unflattering. But it was L’s most important invention, for it could take a video of ghosts.

  
  
It hadn’t yet. He’d just not found a ghost to record. 

Light gave Mr. Spangler a suspicious look. “You’re not really here to buy the house, are you?” He hated having his time wasted and enough was enough. Light had to know what was really going on with these doo-dads and gadgets and the man’s odd obsession with this house. “You’re some kind of...supernatural investigator, right? Well, didn’t you read the sign out front? NOT HAUNTED.” He crossed his arms, huffing as the man yanked the last of his contraptions from the car. “You may come inside to charge your phone but as soon as you do, I expect a tow truck.” He pointed to his own blocked-in car. “Because I can’t leave until you do.” 

  
  
“Yagami-kun is incredibly observant,” L said, adjusting things on his hat accordingly, “A tow truck and a delivery of strawberry taffy for his kindness.” 

It was a lucky thing that Light didn’t believe in the ability of those machines to actually do anything but beep and smoke, or he might have called the police and had Mr. Spangler taken away for trespassing. Cooly, “I don’t appreciate being deceived.” Still, he shone the flashlight in front of them and led Mr. Spangler back to the house, hoping Ryuk wouldn’t be too bothered by his reappearance. 

He said loudly once they were inside, “Alright, the outlet is in there.” He pointed to the billiards room, which was one of the few rooms that he’d been able to get a real electrician to certify as safe. Light’s own charger was dangling from a power supply on a side table. “Kindly leave your machines turned  _ off _ . They give me a headache.” 

When L saw that the billiards room had a full pool table, he whistled at the quality of it, then looked at Light with a coy half-smile, “It appears Yagami-kun and I will not have much to talk about. Care to pass the time with a friendly wager instead?”

  
  
“Turn your machines off and perhaps I could be convinced.” Light sighed at the blinking empty red battery signal on Mr. Spangler’s plugged-in phone. This might take a while. “And you still never answered my question about your intentions for the house.”

  
“Your deduction was correct. But I am no mere supernatural enthusiast. I am a professional ghost hunter, the best in the world. My wager is that we be able to stay here until the ‘witching hour’, 3 am, so I can turn back on my machines to prove to you exactly how haunted this unhaunted house is. I know this may seem unreasonable to him but in exchange, what if Yagami-kun wins? What would he ask me for?” L murmured more to himself than to Light, “Not that anyone has ever bested me in pool.” He turned off the noise on his machines, and let the monitor keep running in the background. To Light’s eyes, the machines would be off.

Light relaxed slightly when his ‘guest’ did turn off the machines, he was about to get prickly at being ignored. “Thank you. I appreciate your  _ eventual _ honesty as well. Although I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed. It’s just a normal old house.” He wandered over to the rack on the wall holding the intricately carved pool cues, brushing his fingers down one as he considered the wager. “No one’s ever won against you, hmm?” A little smile crossed his lips, because one thing Light Yagami could never turn down was a challenge. “Alright. But if  _ I _ win, which I certainly intend to do, then you must put up the down-payment for this house.” It was a sneaky request since if Mr. Spangler truly had no intention to buy it, he’d be out the money either way.

  
  
“I can back up my claims. It’s nothing to me,” L replied, not snidely but as if he were stating a known fact, “You’re on, Yagami-kun. The down-payment on the house or the night spent making ghost hunting history. It’s almost unfair that you winning would impede the future of science itself, but I’m not really worried this would take me any longer than 15 minutes.” He chalked a pool stick.

Light laughed quietly at Elon’s brash claims as he racked the pool balls on the antique table. He was no slouch at pool himself, but he’d spied Ryuk listening in to their conversation through the open french doors leading to the parlour. He briefly made eye contact with the shinigami, hoping to signal that perhaps a little supernatural help would be in order to make sure this interloper didn’t get what he wanted. “Would you like the honors of breaking?”

  
  
Ryuk hooted in approval when he realized that those meaningful eyes were asking him to participate in the game. He hadn’t liked that the weird guy was back at all, but it would be hysterical, this loser trying to win a game against a player with the wind and gravity on his side.

  
  
L bent over the table to line up the best possible scattering break. He took his shot. “Stripe.” He called and winked, as three striped balls fell into the nets, “Your move.”

Light raised a single eyebrow, impressed at that shot. “I can see where your big words come from.” He leaned over the table, fully aware that this put his backside on full display for Mr. Spangler, and lined up a shot that would send two of the solid balls into the same pocket while knocking a stripe out of the way. When he finally took the shot, he nailed both the solids he’d intended but another on the sidelines got knocked in as well as Ryuk extended a talon to flick it in.  _ Heh, thanks buddy _ . Now L wasn’t left with any nice shots and he’d really have to work for it.

L’s eyes widened in surprise, how had Light’s shot even been possible? His had been a tried and true method. But to sink three balls on different sides of the table was hard even for expert players, past the break. “Yagami-kun has at least three unusual talents he has demonstrated thus far!” L sighed a little haughty about this next claim, “That was a skillful shot but it still won’t matter.”

  
  
The angles weren’t perfect, but if he hit the cue ball at just the right speed he could get three more in, in just the next shot alone. L tried to make the shot as planned, but after contact with the first ball his white ball came to a sudden stop, lining the next shot up for Light Yagami. Very well. L grimaced but otherwise remained calm. He could win the game in 4 good moves. One doozie of a missed shot was nothing to worry about. Besides, he probably hadn’t made it because Light Yagami’s body outstretched across the pool table had been one of the sexiest things he’d ever seen.

“Oh, pity.” Light’s mouth twisted as he tried to hide his smirk, but his eyes were sparkling with amusement. He splayed out his fingers on the table, balancing as he shot from behind his back and knocked two more solids into the nets. The cue ball kept rolling (with a little help from Ryuk) until it was precariously perched right on the edge of the corner pocket, making the next shot for L nearly, but not entirely, impossible.

  
  
L swallowed at the uncomfortable tightening in his pants to have seen that advanced player’s move executed with an effortless flick. Yagami-kun wasn’t just talented, he was a brutal competitor who played with grace, and L had to stare at the balls and their placement an entire 20 seconds longer than normal to figure out his next move. He moved lightning fast to hit 2 balls in, and whooped as they traveled in a zig zag for their intended destination. “There is no part of the table I don’t know the advantages of, two more shots and I promise we’re done Yagami-kun!” He cleared his throat and tried to keep his eyes on Light’s perfect face instead of the easy posture of a fit body.

  
  
Ryuk caught Light’s brief annoyed look, “It’s funnier this way! Trust me!” 

Light gave L a curt nod, “Nicely done. But please, hold your promises unless it’s a promise to write me a check for the downpayment in two shots.” His eyes narrowed as he leaned down to survey his potential shots, nearly feeling Mr. Spangler’s eyes on his body.  _ Seems there’s more than one distraction working in my favor _ . His gaze flicked from Ryuk to the eight ball, shaking his head nearly imperceptibly to say ‘no, not that one.’  _ How much does a shinigami know about pool? Ugh, please don’t knock that one in Ryuk. _ He took his shot and two more solids went down, and he held his breath when a stripe nearly got knocked in too, but not-so-miraculously spiraled around the hole and popped back out. Light stuck his bottom lip out at Elon in a pretty pout. “Ohhh, bad luck.”

  
  
L’s head cocked curiously as he laughed, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the ghosts are on Yagami-kun’s side… but there’s never been any record of a ghost that worked in favor of a human,” He hit 2 more striped balls in, nearly at the finish line and putting the cue ball in a dead-end corner so it would be a misery to hit. “Ah. Obviously not though!”

  
  
“Aw man, you gotta hand it to froggy, Light-o. Guy can shoot a mean game!” Ryuk bounced in interest because this was the most fun he’d had since making the sign for the yard, “He’s almost got you and I beat!”

Light frowned at both Elon and Ryuk’s commentary. Because what fun was there in winning if you had to cheat? And even then, nearly lose despite that? Still, what was on the line was more important than his pride.  _ Ugh, that doesn’t feel good to admit. And when did THAT happen?  _ He wiped the sour expression off his face, taking comfort that at least someone was on his side after all the misery he’d gone through for this place. He took his shot, leaving just one solid left on the table, and kept quiet. __

Ryuk caught Light’s look of brief upset, and realized what was a thrilling game for him was an exercise in anxiety for his human. As soon as L hit the next shot, Ryuk blew the cue ball into the black 8 ball into the leftmost net, and L sat gaping and closing his mouth repeatedly like a fish on a hook, “Game over? But how? In 20 years I’ve never hit the 8 ball in.” 

Ryuk laughed at that ridiculous expression, but watched carefully for Light’s reaction as well, he’d let his fun go on too long. That had been thoughtless of him.

“Ah. That’s that, then.” Light smiled happily, glad to see the game was brought to a close. Perhaps another time he’d challenge Elon to a real game without interference, but this one was too important to lose. He’d gotten what he wanted, and that was all that mattered. He cheerily placed his cue back in the rack, turning to Mr. Spangler. “I’ll take a check or cash, if you have it. A bank wire from your phone is acceptable as well.” 

L slumped looking utterly defeated, “You win fair and square. And it was an incredible win...“ 

  
  
“Man, Light this guy is drama-central.” Ryuk said as L sulked and exuded an aura of misery, and Ryuk did a cartwheel on the now-empty pool table, “Wonder if he’d really make good?”

  
  
L picked up his phone and opened his back app, giving a long tortured sigh, at the end of his breath, the receipt of the amount asked for popped into Light’s notifications, “There you are Yagami-kun. The downpayment on the house though I suppose he will eventually sell it to some other buyer. I’ll have my butler call a reputable tow service and be on my way shortly.” L glanced at the readings the machine had been taking the entire time and looked… badly shaken. “Yagami-kun, I dare say… the ghost appears to be with us.”

  
  
“Uh… didn’t he say he turned these off? Woah so many spikey lines! They are getting much spikier! Like little swords now. Oh! A straight line!” Ryuk closed in on the machine to peer closer, putting his face right next to the feedback that was now giving the highest possible reading.

  
  
“What?!” Light rushed over to the machines, his exuberant expression from looking at the bank notification fading away. “You told me you were turning those off!” He puffed out his chest, “Sir. YOU are a liar, and I’ll have to ask you to wait outside for your tow.”

“That would be an insult to the whole of human knowledge, Yagami-kun!” He dutifully began to wheel the machines outside all the same, “Also you didn’t specify the whole of my systems should be turned off. Or indicate which parts of the machine couldn’t be running. Given a little longer I could prove the haunting at 99.9%, even to a skeptic like you. But you have some proof that I'm not a liar in any meaningful way, right there in your bank account.”

Light paused his righteous indignation, now feeling slightly bad for calling Elon a liar when he’d been the one to rig the pool game. “Wait!” He hurried to the door, sighing as he placed a hand on the door to close it again. “Wait...I...I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. I should have specified.” Although any reasonable person would have understood perfectly that ‘turn the machines off’ meant ALL the machines and ALL parts of them. Light was also...intrigued by this strange person. It was rare to meet someone so intelligent and talented in this quiet corner of England and he was reluctant to let it slip away. “Why don’t you tell me why you so interested in finding a ghost?” 

  
  
L paused, looking like he was debating whether or not he could answer the question, he started with a question for Light rather than an answer, “Yagami-kun seems to have a disposition towards curiosity. Had he ever seen something science had yet to explain, and wanted to investigate it of his own accord?”

  
  
“Of course. I think nearly everyone’s been in that position. But going to these lengths…” Light motioned to the machines and the hat, “...that’s uncommon, Mr. Spangler.”

L smiled though, “Not everyone has inborn curiosity so Yagami-kun is also a rarity. But I digress, see, when I was growing up I repeatedly witnessed supernatural events occurring, surrounding a young man who was with me in the orphanage. He left before I could ever help him, so I researched and the only explanation for the phenomena surrounding him was he was haunted. Kids who were roomed with him met early deaths, for instance. Strange deaths, not by flu, or anything normal. They… withered. It was as if whatever was haunting him, had sucked the life right out of them. One of these children was… well, I don’t have friends, per say, Yagami-kun. But I was fond of him. I needed to prove the existence of ghosts, so justice can be served. I only need to prove the existence of one ghost, one time, and the entire scientific world will get to work on the solution. Then I will move on to my next intellectual pursuit.”

  
  
“Oh!” Ryuk interjected, “I hope its giant jenga.”

“I see.” Light’s brow knitted, thinking about the ‘entire scientific world’ descending on this property if Mr. Spangler had his way. Then he’d never sell it! And never know peace again either. He could see Higuchi’s gloating face now, feeling righteous in his claim that the only reason he’d been unable to unload the mansion was ghosts after all. “I think you can understand my position then, if that’s your goal. Having the house I’m trying to sell become your cast-off intellectual pursuit for the scientists of the world to dissect would be very inconvenient for me.”

“Should I prove this estate is haunted I will purchase it in full before revealing my findings to the public. You will never have to deal with that reality.”

  
  
“Ugh,” Ryuk said, it having dawned on him what L purchasing the home would mean. “I know better than to reveal myself to this guy, Light-o. Only thing he’ll be proving by staying here is that he’s the most stubborn of all of your potential buyers so far.”

  
  
As if L could hear him he breathed in, “No matter where the ghost is in the home, these tools can verify its existence to the highest known standards.”

Higuchi yawned in the lounge at the men’s sauna, where an “Keep All Electronic Devices on Silent” sign was inconspicuously posted. He needed to put the Yagami kid in his place. He pulled up, ‘Ugliest Yagami’ in his phone and punched at it with his thumb.

Light was just about to protest again when his phone went off in his pocket, startling him with a beeping rendition of ‘Bring in the Clowns’-- the ringtone he’d awarded to Higuchi. _Shit!_ It was probably about that damned dry cleaning bill again. He sighed and reluctantly took the call, grumbling, “One moment, Mr. Spangler.”

Higuchi put the man on speaker as the locker attendant brought him another glass of champagne.   
  
“Yo,” He boasted cheerfully greeted, as Light picked up the phone, and before he so much as breathed, “Courtesy call to let you know I’m taking 666 Brambleberry-Sutcliff Ashberry on Papaltree off your hands, kid.”

“What?!” Light walked a few steps away from Elon, lowering his voice to a hiss. “That would be a little difficult for you since I’ve just received a downpayment for the property, asshole.”

“You lying little shit!” Higuchi replied enraged, “There’s only one buyer deranged enough to have real interest in that property and I’ve secured him - there’s no way you found another buyer on the same day. That house is cursed.”

Light chuckled as he eyed his own customer, standing in the foyer and fiddling with a few machine sprockets, but his smile fell when he realized what Higuchi was intimating.  _ That sneak! He tried to go to the competition! _ “Secured him how, exactly? You know as well as I do that talk is talk, but money is the real contract, Your  _ Highness _ . Why don’t you get back to your pedicure and let  _ me _ get back to my sale.”

  
  
_HOW! IT HADN’T EVEN BEEN AN HOUR._ Higuchi’s face went dark red, he breathed dangerously into the phone, “I doubt anyone insane enough to buy that place is solvent. Good luck Yagami. I’m still millions in sales above your dinky family firm every single year. And say what you want, I will still be taking that property if you are full of shit.”

Light was steaming mad but didn’t want to lose his temper in front of his client. “Tell yourself whatever you need to, Higuchi.” He cackled into the phone and said, “Realtor God  _ OUT _ ” before hanging up on the huffing on the other end. He let out a long breath and turned back to Mr. Spangler, “I see you met my...colleague, Mr. Higuchi. He’s under the oddest impression that you retained his services to purchase this house?”

“Oh,” L didn’t even have the decency to look sorry, “Yes, I did start negotiations with that man, but I was unable to complete them in satisfactory time due to business matters. Obviously, going through the current realtor is preferable,” He fiddled with the feed reception, “And that ends my need for contact with anyone outside of Yagami-kun. I hope you understand.” It was clear L didn’t care if he understood or not.

Light narrowed his eyes, slipping his phone back into his pocket as he considered whether Mr. Spangler was two-timing him, playing him and Higuchi against each other to maybe try and get the price down on the house. “I see. Well, a downpayment is the same as a contract to buy this place, and you forfeit it if you change your mind.” That gave him some amount of confidence, but he was also nervous now that if he didn’t acquiesce to this overnight stay, Mr. Spangler would run back to Higuchi again. He’d already checked that the money transfer was legitimate (which it was), so Light was determined to close the final sale. 

Maybe he could satisfy Mr. Spangler’s curiosity, Ryuk would never reveal himself, and the nosy man would give it up. On the other hand, what if those machines were more accurate than they looked? He didn’t even have the benefit of asking Ryuk’s opinion.  _ He seems confident, maybe I should just go with it.  _ Light did feel like he owed Mr. Spangler something for tricking him with that pool game, and he’d just gotten a few hundred thousand pounds of the man’s money. What harm could it do? 

“But because you  _ have _ put up the money…” He sighed, relenting, “...I’ll call the owners and see if they consent to your request for an overnight stay. But I have to insist on being here as well.” Light eyed Ryuk to see if he was going to protest.

  
  
Ryuk, for his part, looked deeply unamused at yet another human who was being shady towards Light. But at least this one was also a riot, so he responded, knowing no one else could hear his voice because he and Light at this point were linked by their deal, “Yeah, huh, Imma head to the attic then. Froggy McPantsOnFire and you have fun.” He looked at the hat pointedly, “Not even a shinigami would consent to wear that thing. And  _ we wear skulls _ .” He cackled and put his hands behind his head like rabbit ears.

Light wanted to say something to Ryuk as he saw the shinigami flap off. Like, ‘I’m just trying to put his dumb investigation to rest!’ or apologize that Ryuk now had to be relegated to the attic. But he couldn’t, not with Mr. Spangler’s wide eyes on him. Hopefully, after the client saw that the house was truly non-haunted (ha!), he’d….

Light wasn’t sure what he hoped would happen. He had to sell this house, that was a given, and there would never be a perfect occupant here from Ryuk’s point-of-view.  _ Except for me _ .  _ But this is so far out of my price range it might as well be on the moon. _ At least this person might provide some entertainment to Ryuk if he really was stuck here permanently. 

He pulled out his phone again and rang the owners, who were slightly annoyed to be disturbed while golfing in Scotland. When Light told them he’d secured the down payment, they couldn’t agree to the request fast enough. 

“Of course! Whatever they need! And please fax us the details of the down payment as soon as possible, Mr. Yagami. We are  _ very _ anxious to finalize the paperwork.”

Light held the phone away from his ear as the owner yelled ‘FORE.’ “Of course, I’ll have my office send it tomorrow. Thank you for working with Yagami, Yagami, and Ya--” But the line went dead. To Mr. Spangler, “They agreed. So…” He looked around the cavernous foyer and into the dimly-lit rooms beyond, most of which were clean and presentable by now. “I suppose you have free reign of the place tonight, although the attic is off-limits. Um...we’re clearing out a family of bats so it’s not safe to go up there yet. Rabies, you know.” 

  
  
L gave his small smile of victory, one side of his face tilted up with his self-satisfaction, “Thank you Yagami-kun. I will not forget your kindness. And by the morning you will be the lucky first person to see my findings!” And then he thought, maybe the man would need something else, “Will you require anything?”

“Require…?” Light gave Mr. Spangler a puzzled look. “Just your assurance that you’ll stay out of the attic. You can take the green bedroom, it’s the thirteenth door on the right at the top of the stairs. I’ll be in the red bedroom next door.” He pulled a fat ring of iron keys from his briefcase, some of which were nearly as long as his hand while others were only an inch or so. All were handmade and unable to be copied, not with their ornate gargoyles and fleur-de-lis. “I’ll expect these back in the morning.” He held out the ring of keys.

  
  
L sighed like the brat he was, he’d hoped Yagami-kun would not notice he had not promised to stay out of any part of the home, “I’m not particularly concerned about rabies. Hazard of my profession, I’ve already got the shots from my last raccoon encounter...”

  
“Your  _ assurance _ , Mr. Spangler.” Light pulled the keyring back, waiting for the promise (which he didn’t put much stock in but the attic room key wasn’t on that ring).

  
  
“You have my word,” L said, locking eyes with him, “I’ll leave the attic alone tonight.” He crossed his long toes in his sneakers. It’s not as if the man would ever know. And if there truly was a bat infestation, it was nothing he wasn’t highly trained to handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case readers are confused about why L can’t get a video of Ryuk… L has genuinely created tech that would record *ghosts*. The shinigami aren’t able to be seen recorded unless you make a deal with them or touch their Death Note. Ryuk ain’t a ghost, boo.
> 
> I also designate Oingo Boingo’s campy classic “Weird Science" (https://youtu.be/IWi9ILehtZE) as the song for L, who believes ‘I said they work’ is an appropriate scientific method when he’s the researcher.


	6. Bedroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light goes to sleep while L begins his ‘scientific’ explorations, and meddles in something he really shouldn’t have.

As much of the upstairs electricity was iffy, Light led Mr. Spangler up the curving staircase using a flashlight. “Watch your step on the stairs. I just waxed them so they might be slippery.” The last thing Light needed was for his prospect to take a tumble and break his neck; then he’d  _ really _ never shake this house’s bad reputation. Once on the landing, he checked his watch as he pushed open the creaking door to the green bedroom. It was already 11 o’clock-- where had the time gone? “You can sleep here. There’s...not much heat other than the fireplace. I can build you a fire if you don’t know how to do it.”

He walked around the room lighting a few candles. “Sorry, there’s not much electricity up here. I’ve called every electrician in town but…” Light gave Mr. Spangler a side-eye, not wanting to spook the sale grousing about the refusal of any service person to come here. “...they’ve been busy. Yes, busy.” He checked that all the bed linens were in order and then pointed to a door at the side of the room. “The bathroom is through there. Try not to...flush anything  _ weird _ . I’m not sure how much these old pipes can take.” The bathroom connected the bedroom Light would be sleeping in with this one as well. 

  
L smiled a little, knowing from the initial inquiries Watari had made into the property that no one in town would have dared darken the doorway of this estates, not with its cursed  _ reputation _ . “My people will modernize the property should I complete the sale,” He coughed, “I hire globally known contractors. They wouldn’t be affected by local gossip.” 

  
  
L didn’t plan to sleep tonight, but he was interested in Light’s whereabouts while he worked. Light seemed to be in good health. A man who probably had a sleep schedule, “You don’t have to be diplomatic with me, Yagami-kun. Not about the state of this old house. Not about yourself. I was never much for circling topics. Where will you sleep?”

Light cringed slightly that Elon already knew the real reason the electrician wouldn’t come, but at least he wasn’t put off by it. “I’ll be in the next bedroom over. The bathroom connects the two rooms, so if you need anything you can find me there.” He doubted very much that Mr. Spangler would stay in his own room much that night, but everyone needed sleep, didn’t they? “Should I build a fire or are you alright on your own?” It really did get cold in the dead of night although it didn’t seem like it now. “Oh, and there are a few snacks in the kitchen you can help yourself to.” There wasn’t much, honestly. Some leftover scones and granola bars Light had brought from the office, plus all of Ryuk’s apples.

  
  
L appreciated the offer but he’d already asked Watari to send him an appropriate meal for the ghost hunt, he knew it would be here shortly, “Thank you for the offer Yagami-kun. I have admittedly never made a fire before, so if he would like to warm the room with one, he may.” L had made fires in the past, but he hadn’t quite seen enough of Yagami-kun moving around for his liking yet tonight. He’d indulge himself this one thing, then set to work. Someone like Light Yagami wouldn’t be interested in him, but it didn’t mean L wouldn’t take the opportunity to admire him.

Light nodded and set to work on building the fire, which of course involved a lot of squatting and stooping and bending. He caught Elon staring at him again and gave him a little smirk like, ‘yes I saw you,’ although it didn’t deter the man one bit.  _ What a brazen person.  _ Once the fire was crackling, Light stood up and dusted off his hands. “Alright, there you are. If there’s nothing else you need, I’ll leave you be.” He wanted a shower after the long day and was certain he’d probably fall asleep the moment his head touched the pillow. “Goodnight, Mr. Spangler.” He bowed gracefully and left the room, turning down the hall to the bedroom he’d be occupying. 

“Goodnight, Yagami-kun,” L replied weakly, because now that he’d gotten an eyeful, he knew it wouldn’t be the fire keeping him near as warm as these thoughts tonight, “Thank you for all your help.”

This was the first time Light would be spending the night here and it was a little unnerving. Should he stay up and try to babysit the prospect?  _ No, I’d just get in his way and piss us both off. _ So instead, Light shucked off his clothes and went into the bathroom, running the shower until it finally warmed up.

  
  
Soon, L heard the shower running as he set up his devices to begin their recordings of this momentous night, and he considered if there were any reasonable excuse he could use to quickly pop into the bathroom. But it wasn’t very fair to finagle both a full house tour and a full tour of its seller all in one day, was it?

  
  
He giggled and adjusted one of the monitors for the low-light setting, adjusted his pants which were cutting into him now. That look of knowing that Light had given him was haunting him. 

  
  
Well, L shivered a bit, he should buy a man dinner first. This was the first time in a long time he’d felt as excited by another person as he was by his work. He elected against his natural inclination to curiosity; maybe walking in on him showering would bungle it. People were oddly sensitive about those things.

\----

Light stepped out of the shower feeling refreshed, despite only being able to use two of his usual fourteen shower products. But he hadn’t  _ known _ he was going to be spending the night here, and Mr. Spangler’s car was still blocking the driveway, so he’d had to make do with what he had in his briefcase. He wrapped a towel around his lower half and wiped the fog off the mirror, checking to make sure that his abridged beauty routine hadn’t led to any unsightly blemish or flaw. But of course it hadn’t, and he hummed contentedly while brushing his teeth, thinking about that fat deposit sitting in his bank account. The oddness of this night was well worth that, and plus...he had to admit there was something unsettlingly attractive about the client. He stopped brushing and frowned in the mirror, unable to put his finger on  _ what _ traits those were, but the feeling remained. Weird or not, Light  _ liked _ him.

He spat into the sink and finished up in the bathroom, slipping into black silk pajamas and a matching robe so he could browse the news in bed before falling asleep. After building a fire for himself, he stretched out on the antique canopy bed, wondering what Ryuk was getting up to and if he was really sticking to the attic.

  
_____

  
Ryuk was drawing cartoon pictures of Spangler’s assorted deliriously stupid-looking devices in the notebook Light had given him while polishing off the granola bars, apples and scones, when he startled at a late-night rapping at the front door. 

  
  
It was… nearly midnight, and Elon and Light had retreated to their rooms upstairs, or so he’d thought. He dropped a scone in fascination as Elon fled down the grand staircase to the double doors to receive the late-night delivery. Had he forgotten a device? The spiky-haired man waltzed into the kitchen with a bag half as big as he was.

  
  
“And now,” L said to himself unboxing a feast of pies, fried foods, and candies, “the hunt can really begin!”

  
  
Ryuk wheezed into his hands in laughter. Should he go wake Light? This detective who had done so much to be here tonight… was going to spend it eating like a teenager?

  
  
“Huh,” L said, pacing toward the kitchen island, “Yagami-kun had also promised a variety of snacks but there’s nothing here. Peculiar.” Light also hadn’t returned downstairs. L had been listening very carefully, waiting for the man to fall asleep to start moving around again freely.

  
  
A bit of granola felt out of Ryuk’s fangs onto the floor as his mouth gaped open. These snacks hadn’t been meant for him?

  
  
L’s gaze followed the granola rolling around. “Things in this house… seem to move of their own volition! As if the ghost is breaking through the veil!” He clapped his hands together excitedly, “I better go get the spectral photometer. This area was also giving me the best feedback earlier.”

  
  
As L clamored back up the steps to retrieve it, all while eating a hastily cut slice of fried cherry pie with one hand, Ryuk frowned that he’d given the man more reason to be suspicious and floated up to the attic. He’d apologize to Light for eating the snacks in the morning. They’d been right next to the apples! This was confusing!

  
  
By the time L returned, the photometer registered nothing. So, he binged a box of caramel popcorn to think better. He needed to be at 99% to catch this ghost.

\---

Light awoke from his half-sleep when he thought he heard banging on the door downstairs.  _ That’s odd. Did Elon get locked out? _ He sighed and got up, opening his bedroom door and looking down the hall. Mr. Spangler’s door was wide open and the room was empty. “Mr. Spangler?”

He headed down the stairs, finally spying the client fiddling with a beeping, blinking machine. “Ah, there you are.” Light tugged his silk robe tighter, the chill in the room indicated that the front door had been opened recently. “Did you hear someone knocking?”

  
  
“Sorry, Yagami-kun,” L had been feeling very put out about his machine ticking away with a normal reading, but his mood immediately brightened upon seeing the alluring man draped in flattering planes of dark silk. “I hadn’t meant to wake you. This food will get me through my work tonight.” He tried to stop thinking about how badly he wanted to see what that robe was now barely hiding from him, “It should… get me through.” 

Light blinked, sniffing the air as the scent of rich food wafted in from the kitchen. “You...ordered takeout?” He didn’t have a chance to inquire further as to who would deliver all the way out here before Elon rambled on.

  
  
Oh dear, he was repeating himself. That would seem flustered which wouldn’t do at all. “The fried cherry pie is quite good, if you’d like to share it? I also have sweet thai chicken wings, sweet and sour soup, a variety of taffy for thinking, a variety of cakes for theorizing and a small tiramisu for when I reach my conclusion.” L had set that box aside. That had been flown in from France.

  
  
“Now. That one I will need.” He smiled, “But I will share the rest. I’ve also made a pot of Earl Grey.” His machine hummed peacefully, a quiet blip in the night. The pot he’d left on the stove hissed angrily as he over-brewed his tea.

  
  
“Um…” Light was still only half-awake as he followed Elon into the kitchen to quell the boiling teapot. “No, I think I should go back to bed. I just heard a noise and wanted to check.” But on second thought, the various treats and snacks splayed out over the counters did look tempting, and Light hadn’t eaten much today. Plus, every moment he was distracting Mr. Spangler was another moment the man wasn’t ghost hunting and bothering Ryuk. “Although I suppose I could have a little slice of pie.” He licked his lips, unable to recall who in town made a pie that looked that delicious. “Just a tiny piece.”

  
  
L served it to him with a deft little flourish, “It’s a little better with the fresh whipped cream, Yagami-kun.’ He dolloped some on the top, then awkwardly added as he pushed the plate towards him, “That robe suits you.”

  
  
Ryuk had been trying to mind his own business but he’d heard Light leave his room so he dipped down to check on his friend. Maybe mouth an apology for the scones too. 

  
  
In quick succession a bunch of things happened-- the machine started going mad, L fell over in his excitement to look at the reading, Light frowned at Ryuk for doing, again, exactly what he’d said he wouldn’t do, and Ryuk mouthed an apology Light couldn’t understand. Elon locked eyes with Light and said, “I don’t mean to alarm you, Yagami-kun. But I think the ghost is perhaps haunting you.”

Light recovered his composure by the time Elon scrambled back into his chair, trying to keep his eyes off the shinigami in the corner sniffing over the desserts and snacks.  _ Shit! If he eats them, Elon will definitely know something’s up! _ He quickly moved between Ryuk and the snacks. “Mr. Spangler, I appreciate your concern but a ghost cannot be haunting me because there is no such thing as ghosts.” The machine seemed to be saying otherwise though, and he stuffed some pie in his mouth to try and ignore it. “Maybe that machine is picking up something else. Like...radio waves from space or....” Light wracked his brain for something else, anything else. “...an errant solar flare. Could be anything really.” He ate another dainty bite of pie, it was quite good. 

Maybe it was time to take his leave and go back upstairs. If he wasn’t down here with Elon, Ryuk would get the hint and stay in the damned attic out of sight. “Thank you for the pie, it was delicious. Good night.”

  
  
But L was too enlivened by these obvious parallels, too enthralled by this now consistent evidence. Whenever Light was in the room, his readings would go through the roof without fail. To say goodnight in return would be pointless, what did ghosts need of sleep! “Yagami-kun. It is either that you are haunted in particular or  _ you _ are the ghost. My instruments are foolproof! And every time you are here, they are active!” 

  
  
Light scowled, clutching his hand in his silk robe as he backed away and Elon advanced, dragging that dratted noisy machine behind him. “I am NOT a ghost. Banish that thought from your mind right now!” He twirled away in a huff of black silk, striding towards the stairs and climbing halfway up before turning back to point at Elon. “Ghosts don’t exist!” He stomped back up to his room and slammed the door behind him.

  
  
“That’s exactly what someone possessed by a ghost would say!” He yelled righteously after the retreating form of Light’s graceful figure, then sunk into his chair breathing heavily. 

  
  
Perhaps not his finest moment but something supernatural was surrounding that Yagami man. And it didn’t seem to mean him any harm. He jumped as even from the kitchen he heard the door to Light’s chosen room slam then went back to send photos of his readings to Watari. Tonight he’d explore the home thoroughly… even if it appeared he’d already found his ghost.

\---   
  
Light let out a silent scream into his pillow before calming down enough to pull on his sleep mask and try to get some rest. Even if he’d wanted to stay up and spy on whatever that infuriating Mr. Spangler was doing, he was too exhausted to take any more of this. He flopped back on the pillows, muttering about how enduring all these indignities better be worth it or he’d personally take a hammer to those machines. That pleasant thought made him smile, and within minutes, he was sound asleep.

  
L mulled over the situation in the kitchen. It seemed Yagami-kun had responded to his accusations by retiring for the evening. Well, that was FINE with him. The ghost that had either possessed or was haunting the man was sure not to be far away. L dragged his spectral photometer to every point of the property he had previously received feedback, but nothing was registering in the downstairs rooms. 

  
  
He clanged the devices back up the staircase, and stubbornly, for a great long time, camped outside of the young realtor’s room with all devices and video on because the faintest readings were registering from the hallway. He knew better than to poke a sleeping bear, but he badly wanted to join Light in the room. If those faint blips would return to a strong and clear reading again, even once, in Light’s presence, his theory would be confirmed and he would convince Light of the necessity for an immediate exorcism. The Catholic church had dolefully taught him to perform them when he’d come to the Jesuit institution in London, a million pounds in hand, even while the monks had told him that no true possessions had been recorded in decades, perhaps relating to advancements in modern medicine.

  
  
He supposed he would also have to call a priest. He sighed heavily. Not before he talked to the ghost!

  
  
L dragged his machines further down the hallway from his and Light’s rooms and as he reached the recesses of the second story the faint readings began to pick up again. His eyes narrowed - Yagami-kun had forbade him from the attic - and he looked up at the ceiling door that would turn into a dropped ladder should he pull the rope for it.

  
  
He tugged it once, twice, and looked up. There was a padlock on the entrance. Of course… nothing could be easy with Yagami-kun involved, could it?

  
  
Using some well-placed duct tape, L managed to strap his machines to his body over the course of a few minutes. Finding that none of the keys on the keychain worked, he snickered and pulled his lock-picking kit out of his Psydora™. The padlock was as old as the house, it would take three passes at best. This area was so far from the bedrooms Light had stationed them in he didn’t need to worry that the noise of his break-in would bring him around.

  
  
He cracked the lock and was next prepared for the bats to greet him, too. He’d put his safety goggles on and his Psydora™ protected his vulnerable head (the place angry bats would fly at to defend themselves).

  
In the sprawling attic full of junk from previous residents, all covered in a thick coat of dust, he anxiously waited to find no plague of bats descended upon him.  The attic appeared eerily lived in, though. Chairs around a center table, two of which were pulled out, games of dice and solitaire were scattered about the floor. Strange perfect circles had formed in the tufts of dust, and cockroaches skittered from him in fear.

  
  
But cockroaches didn’t play table-top games, and these things had been recently moved and shifted, almost as if someone was living in this place. Or  _ something _ , a ghost that could make full contact with the corporeal world? Impossible, all L’s theories of ghosts had relied on energy that could, at best, briefly affect the human world. Maybe this was where the possessed Light Yagami was being led to! All these ideas swirled in his head as he set up his machine again, spearing the probe into the air to find that the faint readings grew stronger towards the middle of the room… right near the table. The Photometer showed a large uptick the closer he drew to the Ouija board and pentagram beside it.

  
  
And he considered these common artifacts, that seemed uncommonly linked, unknowing how the entire time how an eight-foot spectral terror enclosed around his figure to watch him with an unamused scowl.

  
  
“Light told ya not to do this, Froggy,” Ryuk hissed, this guy was the definition of a disrespectful houseguest, “Heard ‘im clear as day, and you did too.” Ryuk watched the pen on the device start to go crazy again as L approached the Ouija board and chalk markings. He’d really had it with all these nonsense devices and their loud noises and flashing lights. He plucked the pen from paper it was etching the reading onto and let it clatter to the floor. He blew a chill air from hollowing out his cheeks and made the lightbulbs in the machine burst, leaving L with only the beam from his ridiculous metal helmet to see, “No more of that now.”

  
  
L gasped and scrambled back from a machine it had taken him years of research and cross-referencing to build. Those bulbs were reenforced glass that bullets could not shatter! He looked around frantically but saw nothing. Only the one stream of light illuminating the dust particles floating in the air and his now broken machine, sadly humming with nothing to record its findings.

  
  
He switched the video recorder in his Psydora™ to ‘on’. “So you’re the reason Yagami-kun didn’t want me up here.” He breathed in awe, “I don’t want to hurt you. I want to make contact. Can’t you play nice?”

  
  
Ryuk cackled, refusing to take corporeal form or give L the satisfaction of a heard response, “You know I wasn’t gonna tell Light-o ‘bout your little farce with the fake name. But it’s rich hearin’ you ask me to play nice, when you clearly don’t even believe in doin’ so!”

  
  
Light was gonna be pissed at him for breaking another human’s things, probably was gonna get another bill for this (and Light already had so many!), but Ryuk was going to go tell on L Lawliet right now. Real name and all. Let the pieces fall where they may. 

  
  
“Speak to me apparition!” L demanded, eyes wide, crazy hair somehow crazier, and Ryuk rolled his eyes, “Why have you destroyed my spectral photometer! Don’t you wish to  _ be known _ !”

  
  
“Buddy. We’re done talkin.” Ryuk sank through the floor to go wake Light, and stop this madness at the source. 

  
  
He came on quiet wings to Light and brushed softly against his shoulder with the broadest reaches of his feathers, “Hey wake up,” He said quietly. “I’m real sorry to wake ya.”   
  


Light stirred groggily, rubbing his eyes after pushing the mask aside. “Huh….” He blinked a few times as his vision was full of shiny chrome, then lifted his gaze from the skull belt buckle to take in Ryuk with a startle. He whispered, “Ryuk! What are you...don’t tell me that Spangler is up to something?”

  
Ryuk seemed righteously annoyed, “That’s it Light-o, shoulda warned you he’s got a fake name!” 

As this conversation was going on downstairs and the hum of the machine quieted, the beam of L’s Psydora™ shined upon a pentagram in the center of the table. L cocked an eyebrow, “Some ghost from the beyond you are! Can’t even draw a proper pentagram.” Well! Maybe this would get its attention. He took chalk that had been long abandoned from the table, “So you’ve missed an ancient rune, here,” He wrote it, hoping to impress the ghost instead of continue to make it so angry, “And here!”    
  


Back in the bedroom, Light gasped, “I knew it! That sneak!”

“I think he’s hopin’ to act without consequ-” Ryuk groaned in pain as he was forcefully disapperated from out of the bedroom, Light’s wide eyes locked with his panicked ones. That tawny frantic gaze was the last thing he saw before he was pulled forward into a murky cavern half-submerged in pools of bloody water. The oldest shinigami in the Realm startled awake, her eyes blinking rapidly. NO! He’d been returned to his Home Realm! Nu squelched confusedly, her thousand eyes weary with sleep. The last time he’d seen her had been 100 years ago. He winced. Not a good start to his return, walking up the shinigami who was rumored to be more powerful than the King himself, “Forgive me, Nu.” He whispered. But he couldn’t move just yet, depression froze him in place, his heart was broken, he’d been pulled away from Light Yagami….

  
  
Hadn’t even had a chance to say goodbye or to thank him for the fun.

  
  
“Ryuk!” Light pushed up on his knees on the bed, looking around the room frantically. That was not how the shinigami had ever disappeared before, especially not mid-sentence. Something had happened! He whispered louder, “Ryuk! Come back here!” But he was only met with the house’s idiosyncratic creaks and the faint noise of the wind outside. His jaw set as he imagined who was behind this.  _ That damned ghosthunter.  _ And what had Ryuk meant about a fake name? Well, Light was about to find out.

He snatched his flashlight from the nightstand and shrugged his robe back on, oblivious to the sleep mask still perched on his head as he dashed out of the room. Banging on Elon’s door, “SPANGLER!” The door cracked open, revealing an empty bedroom of course, and he rushed down the hall calling out the so-called client’s presumably fake name. “SPANGLER WHERE ARE YOU?!” He stopped short at the attic stairs dangling down in the middle of the hall and could hear muttering and faint beeping coming from above. That blasted man broke into the locked attic! He grumbled under his breath, “Dammit…I told him specifically to stay out of here,” but climbed the rickety ladder to the attic.

Light swung the flashlight around the musty space, sighing when he spotted Spangler poking around the Ouija board and pentagram on the table. “YOU!” He grabbed the man’s shoulder and pulled him back from the table. “What do you think you’re doing up here?!” 

  
  
L sighed, and strong-armed his way then flipped out of the other man’s hold, letting his Psydora™ fall to the floor. He stood in a fighting stance, one leg bent forward, one hand bent in challenge, “What I think I’m doing is I found your ghost!  _ YOUR GHOST!  _ You are clearly protecting it, Yagami-kun. Either because it is possessing you or because you care for it. You were impeding my research! The research which you promised to let me do tonight.” He kept his defensive stance. 

The flashlight clattered from Light’s hand, spinning across the floor and giving the room an eerie illumination. He backed up and raised his fists, confused why this crackpot was in an attack stance. He yelled back, “What in the HELL are you talking about? I’ve been asleep you nutjob! If I was trying to impede your research, you wouldn’t even be UP here!” He circled Spangler, eyes narrowed dangerously. Light was perfectly able to defend himself, especially against a stick-thin nerd who weighed maybe 90 pounds soaking wet. “You broke in here! And while we’re on the subject of being RUDE, how about you tell me your real name?”

  
  
L stood bolt upright, “Who…  _ who told you Elon isn’t my name _ ?” He’d been going by the pseudonym since Watari had let him inherit the Wammy estates. For all intents and purposes, it was his name. Had Light hired someone to check out his buyer? As he stumbled back, his foot caught on a black leather notebook on the floor.

  
  
“That….” Light smirked as he realized he’d hit the bullseye and Ryuk was right. “...that’s not important. The important bit is that you LIED to me and came here under false pretenses, you fraud! I was perfectly willing to let you snoop around and I made one, ONE request.” He kicked one of the broken machines, making it fly across the room. “But you couldn’t even do that!” If he’d been an objective observer right now, it wouldn’t make much sense why he was  _ this _ angry. But Light was really worried about Ryuk now, what if Spangler...killed him? He couldn’t even ask what had happened since that would reveal he knew about the presence of the supernatural entity, frustrating him even more.

L hissed at Light, affronted at the thought that dishonesty wasn’t essential to his body of work, “I don’t abide by rules which make no sense!” He picked up the notebook that had just served as a literal stumbling block, but gave it a second look when it had what appeared to be claw-marks dimpling the leatherwork.

Light’s eyes went wide as he recognized the notebook he’d given Ryuk and tried to snatch it away. “Hey! That’s mine, give it here!” The last thing he needed was for this loon to see anything Ryuk might have written. But Spangler ducked out of his grasp, seemingly more interested to examine it now that Light wanted it.

L opened it with curious eyes, keeping a wary distance from Light’s hands. “No...this does not appear to be Yagami-kun’s. It’s full of cartoons of you, and my machines, and….a language I’m not even sure how to read?” 

“It’s just…” Light tried to get it back again but Spangler was quick and wirey. “Just ancient Sumerian! I was trying to, uh, decipher something is all. Now hand over MY prop--” His voice strangled as he read something in English in the book over Spangler’s shoulder.  _ Oh shit! _ It was Higuchi’s full name and what looked like a death wish? And now Light had just insisted that it was HIS notebook. Maybe Spangler wouldn’t notice it.

  
  
L continued with a sly smirk, “Does Yagami-kun always write such deeply childish grisly ends for his realtor competitors?” He read aloud the small passage Light had hoped he didn’t notice, while slowly, continuously jumping out of Light’s range as the man continued to try to take this… diary back, “Kyosuke Higuchi, dies in a public grocery store at 12:00 noon after stripping off his Armani suit and eating it while juggling fruit and singing ‘Send in the Clowns.’ He refuses to cooperate with the police, and when he uses fruit as projectile weapons, the police chase him until he slips on a banana peel and dies. His legacy is forever tarnished when he is registered as a sex offender.”

  
  
“SLIPS ON A BANANA PEEL?” L practically squealed he was so amused, “My. Don’t, uh, don’t change your day job Yagami-kun. This isn’t exactly a stunning conclusion.” His eyes narrowed and he stared back, “Unless of course, this isn’t yours. Unless of course  _ the ghost _ wrote this.”

Light’s look of shock morphed into an involuntary snort imagining Higuchi actually meeting such an ignominious end.  _ Too bad that can’t really happen, Ryuk. _ He was tempted to argue with Spangler that no, this was perfectly hilarious and fitting, but held his tongue. He swallowed and, with no small effort, assumed a serious expression again. “People’s private thoughts are none of your business.” He held out his hand for the notebook. “And unless you’d like me to call the police on  _ you _ for petty theft and invasion of privacy, you’ll return that NOW.” If Spangler didn’t, Light just might punch him.

  
  
L looked around them. His machines-- 2 million pounds in top-of-the-line ghost-hunting equipment-- shattered to uselessness, his Pysdora™ looking much worse for the wear, and all he had to show for this disastrous inquiry into the paranormal was this odd black notebook that seemingly only proved Light Yagami, unexpectedly, had a fantastic sense of humor and an eye for creative detail. He handed the notebook back and sighed, “You win this time Yagami-kun. Let me know if the ghost teaches you ancient Sumerian though? Current records aren’t the most reliable for that language. You could be a living Rosetta Stone,” He put his now floppy chrome helmet back on. “Even if I didn’t get my proof, I know for myself something is here. I suppose I should show myself out?”

Light snatched the notebook back and stuck it down his silk pajama pants, then quickly moved to block the exit while Spangler was babbling about ancient languages and mournfully surveying his equipment. “Not so fast. I want to know exactly what you did up here. And I want to know who you really are.”

  
  
“I cannot tell you my real name, I’m not even sure I know it, Yagami-kun. But I can show you what I did.” L beckoned the man to the pentagram, “I suppose this is also yours? You dabble in the metaphysical?”

Light frowned, “How can you not know your own name?” Still, he moved closer to the pentagram, noticing some new marks on the table around the Ouija board. “No, it’s not mine. This was in the house already, but then so was a lot of useless junk.”

  
  
L’s eyes lit up, “This! Is not useless junk.” He traced above the lines of what had been an incomplete summoner’s circle, “This would have been a perfectly good pentagram to try and talk to a ghost, or some say demons, though I  _ do not _ believe in those, but it was missing the needed runes for ‘As Above, So Below.’” He chuckled, “Anything that responded to it would have been trapped in this plane of reality! But no worries, I fixed it. And evened out some of the lines, it had been very messily made. I should have figured it couldn’t have been you, not with your  _ singular _ script.” 

“Trapped!” Light couldn’t hide the interest in his voice, because this sounded exactly like what had happened to Ryuk. At some point, years ago, Ryuk must have been summoned using this Ouija board, but had been trapped from the incomplete summoning markings. “That...I mean, let’s just say  _ hypothetically _ \--- if there had been a ghost trapped here, what would have happened when you fixed the pentagram?”

L’s eyes narrowed with suspicion at Light’s interest, “I suppose, had it not already so obviously decided to haunt the realtor of this property, that it could return to the realm of the dead. But ghosts are ghosts because they won’t let go of their time here on Earth,” He gave a happy little gasp because Light was sitting down at the table examining the pentagram carefully, looking a little shell-shocked. “Would Yagami-kun like to conduct a seance? We could make contact with the ghost that probably lives inside your body! I’ve never had one in guaranteed proximity.”

“Hmmm.” Light hummed, considering that since Ryuk wasn’t a ghost but a shinigami (he’d made sure to clarify that point), maybe things didn’t work exactly the same. Certainly, there was no spirit inhabiting his body right now. But Ryuk had immediately vanished around the same time Spangler had messed with the pentagram. Maybe that meant that Ryuk could be summoned back now? Or had the ritual been ruined? Oh...what if they summoned something much worse or Ryuk was  _ happy _ to be released? “Have you done this kind of thing before? How does it even work? What if something...bad is summoned?”

  
L bounced up into the seat to curl his toes around the edge of it, “I wouldn’t be in this profession if I weren’t an adrenaline junkie, Yagami-kun. But ghosts are dead humans, right? What could they really do to us? We make brief contact to further human knowledge. Admittedly, I’ve never successfully summoned a ghost, but I theorize that there are set ways to navigate the other planes of existence. My hypothesis is that this pentagram will imbue the Ouija board with spectral power when the right words are spoken. Luckily, I know just such words.”

  
  
“I suppose if the ghost is haunting or inhabiting you, there’s nothing to summon, but we can simply use this combination like… like a telephone to the beyond which evades human eyes!” L chewed on his thumb, “A very chalky telephone.” He further corrected one of the lines in the pentagram and chalk dust clouded the air.

  
  
“Well….” Light looked across the table at Spangler, thinking this was probably just more pseudoscience horseshit. But he really didn’t have anything to lose by trying it either, did he?  _ Maybe I should leave well enough alone. Ryuk’s gone and I can sell this house _ . Something in Light wouldn’t let it go, though. He’d never gotten to say goodbye, for one. What if Ryuk was trapped somewhere else with unfriendly humans, or worse, dead? “Ok, let’s try it. I assume you know what you’re doing?” It seemed like a leap of an assumption, actually. 

  
  
“You should trust me,” L said, and amended, “when it comes to doing my job.” He struck a match and lit the dusty candles, then placed the Ouija board on top of the redrawn pentagram, “Yagami-kun, I’m not being forward, but please hold my hands over the Ouija board. We’re more likely to pierce the veil with the power of two summoners.”

Light gave him a dubious look but held out his hands across the table. “I hope you washed your hands recently.” 

  
“That stickiness is only taffy,” L said pleasantly, as Light’s strong hands clasped around his own. “Now repeat each sentence of the incantation after me, Incantarum rosae….”

Light rolled his eyes but repeated the words, trying to ignore Spangler’s thumb stroking over his hand. Maybe it was part of the ritual.

L continued on, with Light repeating the words each time. “Spiritu santis oculum...axleum maximus rocha….” Things in the room began to clatter and the very quality of the air seemed to change. L was enthralled by the power emanating from between them, and was half-tempted to ask Light for a kiss and say it was ‘part of the ritual’. 

L gripped those soft hands tighter, “Qum quo noctae…” Wind was swirling in the room, paper and small things taking flight, the cockroaches flying against the current. “Imbecilium flagellum…mulletous dominus rex!” 

  
  
From the center of the table, a huge CREATURE emerged between them with a clap of thunder. Their forcibly unclasped hands splayed in surprise as they stared up in horror at what could not be a ghost-- it looked like a skeleton robot encrusted with finest jewels. Its jaws unhinged and it spoke in a terrible boom, directing its piercing ruby vision to Light, “Ryuk’s human. Why have you summoned the Answer God?”

Light screamed and fell back out of his chair, crawling backwards away from the golden specter above him. “A-answer God?!” He drew in a few shuddering breaths, trying to collect his wits. “You know Ryuk? Are you...a shinigami too, then?”

  
Justin Armonia Beyondormason’s voice filled the room, “If you can call him that, then, yes, I am one of his kind. Where is that layabout? Useless to speak with a human, I should be asking him.”

“Wait! Please don’t go.” Light got to his feet, eyes wide as he took in the nearly blinding number of jewels encrusting the metallic being. “Ryuk was here but he...I don’t know, he just disappeared a few minutes ago. I wanted to make sure he was okay. Do you know...what happened to him?”

  
  
“You have summoned a  _ Rank Two  _ Shinigami to ask after the whereabouts of a lowly RANK SIX!? THIS IS WHY I HAVE BEEN CALLED MORTAL?”

Light cringed but stood his ground, raising his eyes defiantly. Even though he was about to wet himself, he said with all the false confidence he could muster, “Yes. You’re the Answer God, so answer me! What happened to Ryuk?!”

Justin seemed to calm, having been confidently and appropriately addressed by his title. “Mortal, the desires of your lot continuously confound the Gods, yet if this is truly all you wish from me I will tell you what I know, as it is impressive you obtained arcane knowledge enough to bring me here. If Ryuk is not in this domicile he has returned to our native Realm. You were never supposed to be able to hold him here for you do not possess his Death Note. Does this answer your question?”

Light nodded, considering whether this ‘Death Note’ was the notebook Ryuk had mentioned to him before.  _ It must be something of great importance to shinigami.  _ He hoped Ryuk got it back. 

“Yes, and I thank you for that. But…” Well, now Light was just taunting literal death, but he couldn’t stop himself. “What is a Death Note?”

  
Justin levitated from the table and came towards Light, “He did not tell you?” He seemed to hesitate, “These are more questions than you have told me you would ask, but if you have a…. human cigarette or cigar I just may consent to their answer.” 

Light swallowed, eyes widening as the being got closer. “A cigarette? I...actually I’ve seen a pack in here.” Did death gods smoke? He looked around the attic, yanking away Spangler’s Psydora™ so he could use it as a flashlight. Spotting the old pack in the corner, he held it out to the golden shinigami. “He-here you go.” Where that pack came from, he had no idea, but it was scribbled with proclamations about the supremacy of Axl Rose.

Justin tapped a cigarette out of the pack, lifting it to lipless lips and lit it, somehow, just by sucking in, “Very well,” He puffed in clear satisfaction, and waved a hand grandly, “You may continue.”

Light chucked the Psydora™ back to Spangler. “So, Ryuk mentioned something about having a notebook, and that he...lost it or didn’t have it anymore. He missed it. Was that a Death Note?”

  
“Fascinating, he must have been reluctant to share with you. What pointless sentimentality. Lousy shinigami. Light, you can never truly hope to understand our power unless you experience it, but all the Death Gods write the names of mortals, and choose the manner in which they will die through a tool called the Death Note, provided they follow some  _ simple _ rules. We use this elegant weapon to harness the years of Mortals, so we can live forever. Ryuk had lost his, this important weapon,” Justin chuckled darkly, “Having never been a very busy shinigami, he _ had  _ been doomed by that loss, condemned to die here in this small house. It seems he has cheated fate yet again. Perhaps this time he will not slip up again.”

It finally clicked for Light-- shinigami could write names to kill people, even control how they died, and that was the secret to their immorality. But he was left with more questions, like how had Ryuk lost it? Why hadn’t he  _ told _ Light about it? Why was this gold shinigami hoping Ryuk would slip up again? “Pfft. It sounds like you don’t like him very much. You certainly didn’t  _ help _ him when he needed it.” That kind of tone probably wasn’t wise, but it galled him to think that Ryuk had been trapped here for a long time and his kin hadn’t done a thing. Or  _ hoped _ he’d fail.

“Shinigami were never like humans, Light Yagami, do not try to understand us with your emotions. I could no more have helped Ryuk than I could go against any other rule of the Death Note. Now that he has returned, I will urge him to diligently return to his work. The  _ sole _ thing we exist for.”

So, shinigami existed according to a completely different set of rules than the moral code of humans, didn’t have human emotions. Light guessed that eliminated the possibility of friendship, but why had Ryuk helped him then? He grinned as his curiosity bubbled out once again, “Who makes these rules? What ARE the rules?” 

“Light Yagami, while I appreciate that curious mind, but I’m at the end of this cigarette so I cannot indulge these questions about the Shinigami any further. You have asked of me one thing which has turned into many. I have eternity, but you have some tens of years. Why waste them? You’ll not see him again. You have shown me respect. Now let me return to my station, or I might lose my patience. And I have told you what it is I oversee.”

Light understood things better now, but still felt a bit sad that he hadn’t been able to say a proper goodbye to Ryuk. “Here, have another cigarette.” He pulled the notebook from his pants and flipped to a page where Ryuk had drawn the apple tree just beyond the house, then ripped it from the book and held it out to the Answer God. “There’s no reason for you to honor my request, but if you choose to give this to Ryuk as a memory of his time here, tell him Light Yagami wishes him well.”

  
  
Justin snatched the paper from Light, “I will offer this gift and news to him in return for a week of PROPER work. Any incentive is of use. I can rend flesh from bone, I can make mothers of children weep for lives unlived, I can change the fate of kings and paupers, but I CANNOT GET HIM TO WORK.” He huffed. “If that will be all, mortal?”

  
  
L had actually wet his pants, Light could see the wet spot spreading shamefully across his jeans, “Sh- shinigami…” 

  
  
“HUSH FROG MAN!” The jewel skeleton silenced him dangerously.

  
  
“Light Yagami, your wish summoned me thus, if that will be all?”

  
“Yes, that’s all. Thank you.” Light bowed his head, hand shaking until he flattened it at his side. Softer, “He’s...welcome to come back and visit. If he wants an apple.” He bit his lip so he wouldn’t say anything else and push his luck further.

  
  
Justin disapparated, but the glittering light that his eerie large jewels had cast upon the room was much slower to fade from sight than he was.

  
  
“Ghosts are slightly bigger than I’d theorized.” L croaked weakly, “I… have to call Watari.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the play ‘Faust’ by Goethe, a demon named Mephistopheles is trapped in Faust’s house due to the presence of an imperfect pentagram over the door. We used a similar trope here for Ryuk, so when L fixed the pentagram, Ryuk was returned to the Shinigami Realm.


	7. Drawing Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L confesses who he really is and makes a discovery as to who’s been in the attic before. Light heads to London with L to track down Mello and Matt, and somehow, there’s just one bed at the hotel. L gets some surprising news about Higuchi.

Light blinked across the table as his eyes adjusted to the dimming light, meeting Elon’s wide gaze. He breathed out, “Holy shit…” and slumped back in his chair, arms dangling out to the sides. He’d never felt fear when Ryuk had been around, but Light had sensed a distinctly different aura of death around Justin-- it was clear he was not one of the more sentimental death gods.  _ Guess the cat’s out of the bag. There’s no point in pretending something supernatural isn’t going on in this house now.  _ He switched tactics from outright denial to crisis mitigation. Light needed to make sure that Elon wasn’t going to tell anyone or bring down some hoard of paranormal ‘scientists’ down around his ears. “I...guess I owe you a bit of an explanation. But anything I say doesn’t leave this room without my knowing first. Got it?”

  
  


L, for once in his life, was placated into slack-jawed compliance by his own shock, “Yes.” He breathed in awe, “Did you know that guy?”

  
  


Light relaxed slightly at the agreement but shook his head emphatically. “Um, absolutely not! I’ve never even been up here before. Had no idea about...all this.” He motioned to the Ouija board and chalk pentagram. “But I did know this house was haunted. Just not by whoever  _ that _ was. The...other death god who was here suddenly disappeared about 20 minutes ago.” It was more of a relief that he’d anticipated to tell someone about it, he’d been harboring a stressful secret and couldn’t talk about it. “His name was Ryuk. He was trapped here.” And then, he wasn’t.   
  
  


“... your ghost.” L said in awe. “Is a GOD?” Something caught his eye under the inside of the chair leg as he folded into himself in some degree of increasing fear. An aging cigarette pack with a bit of masking tape on it. The writing on it… no it couldn’t be. He reached to pick it up as Light responded.

  
  


“A shinigami, yes. Wasn’t a bad sort at all, we...got to be friendly. He was helping me fix up this house, weeding out any unsavory buyers.” Light smiled wistfully thinking about Ryuk’s ‘help,’ but it had all been well-intentioned, for the most part. “Obviously it’s a very expensive property and the constraints of its reputation were...challenging enough already without the rumors being true.” 

  
  


L entirely missed the regret tracing itself across the slight tremor in the other man’s voice. “Yagami-kun… it sounds like your haunted property is…. no longer haunted so…. problem solved, I suppose?” 

  
  


Light frowned, because the rational side of his brain tacitly agreed. The part where he’d come to look forward to seeing Ryuk didn’t. “No, the problem is  _ not _ solved. I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye or make sure he wanted to go or--” He trailed off, realizing he probably sounded silly having tender feelings about a god of death, whose purpose was to  _ kill _ humans, but Ryuk wasn’t just that to him. “It’s why I agreed to this stupid seance. I wanted to make sure he was ok.”   
  


  
L hadn’t understood the regret but he did understand that frown and he lifted the aging cigarette box to his eye level and said, “Well then, we both want the  _ friendly  _ supernatural force here to come back. Think I might have a lead on how to find him… or at least, how he was summoned to begin with.” L set down the pack of cigarettes in the center of the pentagram. Written in bold print with lightning exclamation marks was the text, ‘HANDS OFF MATT YOU WANKER!’

  
  


Light gave Elon a puzzled look but leaned to glance at the crumpled cigarette pack. “How is some inane scribbling going to help us find out how Ryuk was summoned?”   
  


  
L gave a tiny lopsided smirk, looking cockier for what he was about to share, (yet the man was still reeking of piss, so dignified he was not) “You’ve heard of Wammy’s Orphanage? It’s a private school for the gifted and talented.”

“I’ve heard of it.” Light wasn’t sure where this was going, but there’d been rumors in the town about strange children living in that place. “It’s just across the graveyard in the field behind this house.”

  
  


“What many people don’t know is that the children there train for a chance to…” L wanted to put this mildly but couldn’t, “Take over my job in the  _ very likely _ event something were to happen to me. My cases can’t be left unattended.”

  
  


“Cases? You mean like more ghost hunts?.” Light gave Elon a puzzled look, wondering why it was ‘very unlikely’ something should happen to him.   
  


  
L’s confidence didn’t falter, “The mission of the organization helps promising children follow  _ in my footsteps _ . You haven’t heard of what we do... Does Yagami-kun know of the Detective L?” 

  
  


“ _ Your  _ footsteps? Does that mean....?” Light’s eyes went wide at the suggestion that this eccentric person sitting in his own piss was, in fact, the infamous detective L.

  
  


L chuckled, “I used to be in the news quite often,” Light didn’t seem like a man who had lived under a rock this past decade, so L was ready for him to put two and two together. “Before I pivoted to a more private type of investigation.”

  
  


“Are you telling me that  _ you’re _ L?” Light hoped ‘Elon’ had some proof of that because it was hard to imagine L filling his time between international investigations with poking around old houses for poltergeists. 

  
“I’m not  _ not _ telling you that.” L’s smile grew larger, “And that ‘inane scribble’ jogged my memory. This,” He pawed at the crinkling cardboard, “is the writing of one of the two top students at Wammy’s. I have offered him successorship while I take this intellectual sabbatical to prove the existence of ghosts. His code name is Mello...”

  
  


Light sat with his thoughts a moment, staring with a dumbfounded look on his face. It was such a crackpot story that he was inclined to believe it, and would make sense as to where all the money had come from to buy and make these contraptions. “Then...you think this Mello person was the one who summoned Ryuk? I guess if you recognize the handwriting it means he was at least in the attic.” He picked up the pack, giving it a more serious look. “This has been here a long time. But Ryuk’s been in this house for years too, so…” It was a leap of faith but he really didn’t have any options other than using the Ouija board again, and that already hadn’t worked. It could go even worse than Justin Armonia. “So maybe you ask Mello and, uh…” He checked the name again, “...Matt the Wanker, to see if they broke in and messed with the Ouija board? And what exactly they did or said to pull Ryuk here?” 

  
  


“Should be easy enough…” L bounced on the balls off his feet, “They were inseparable since childhood, those two. Though I guess… They live in London now. Would Yagami-kun be averse to a short helicopter ride?”

  
  


“To London?” Light’s eyebrows shot up, and he uttered a small laugh. “Sure, why not.” He  _ had  _ sold the house much earlier than anticipated, giving him a few days to go on a wild goose chase, if it meant the chance of finding Ryuk.

  
“Alright. I’ll make the arrangements. And…” Some softening in L’s voice sounded oddly intimate, “Yagami-kun could simply call me L… if I could call him Light...” He was already looking down texting full paragraphs of requests to Watari rapidly on his phone.   
  


“Just L?” Light thought that substituting one alias for another was silly, but it seemed like he was getting closer to the  _ real _ identity of this person. If L was going to be more honest with him, he’d probably get further in his mission to find out the truth about the summoning from the man’s proteges. He shrugged, “Suits me. You can call me Light.”   
  


  
“Light-kun has approximately one hour to gather his personal effects for London so we can co-interview Mello and Matt about what happened the night… Ryuk, was it? The night Ryuk was summoned.” L shifted in the chair, now having the decency to look a little embarrassed about his soggy state, “If he would excuse me, I’m off to use the shower…”

  
  


Light sat up bolt straight, “One hour? But I literally have nothing here! I’d have to go back to my apartment and pack and that’s half an hour away.”   
  


  
L seemed unconcerned, “Simple. Use my business credit card when we get to town.” He started to attend to his machines and missed Light’s resulting grossed-out wince, “Whatever you need; I will cover the cost of it.”

  
  


Light grimaced and looked away as L clambered down the attic steps, leaving behind the broken bits of machinery and a puddle in the chair. He probably shouldn’t go to London-- _ no, I definitely shouldn’t _ \-- he had clients and appointments and things to do. But his curiosity, both about Ryuk and the oddly moneyed detective, compelled him to pull out his phone and clear his calendar, set up email auto-replies, and send an apologetic message to his family about needing to go to London for a client. Technically, it wasn’t a lie. 

\----

“Spangler? Ah yes, I have your  _ very _ specific reservation right here.” The concierge of The Goring Hotel gave both the young men a side-eye but her tune changed completely when she saw the limitless credit card flicked across the desk. She coughed and read the by-line of the reservation verbatim, “Apologies, it seems that the only suite we have available is a single king bed.”

  
  


Light leaned onto the counter, “What? Are you sure? But it seems like there’s hardly anyone here!”   
  


She scoffed, “Sir, we are fully booked nearly year-round. Why would today be any different?”

  
L made a mental note to tip the woman very well when she doubled down, clearly offended by Light’s assertion that the place wasn’t in high demand.

  
  


Light sighed but relented, crossing his arms as he looked around the opulent lobby. Maybe there was a couch or something, he’d slept on worse in college. ”I see. Well, it seems like we should get some complimentary champagne at the very least, for the inconvenience.” 

  
  


“Certainly sir, your drinks are on the house.” Of course, she was planning to charge everything to the card on file, but the instructions had been incredibly explicit.

  
  


Light nodded, satisfied that he could soothe his nerves. He picked up some brochures at the counter outlining the local shopping, which he planned to do first thing in the morning with L’s card.

  
“Not to worry, Light-kun. I’m a very heavy sleeper.” L soothed, and they headed to the lobby bar together. 

  
  


“That’s good, but you’d think a hotel this size would have more options.” Light followed L to the bar, determined not to complain any further. This was by far the nicest place he’d ever stayed. “It’s beautiful though. I’ve always been so frugal when I’ve visited clients.” He laughed quietly as he sat down. “I guess you live in another world entirely from me, though.” One where money didn’t matter, where L was world-famous and constantly revered.

  
  


“It suits Light-kun much better than me…  _ this  _ world.” L said softly, “What’s your poison?” He handed him the bar menu. “I think I’m going to take a glass of Ice Wine, but a person’s drink choice often fascinates me…”   
  


Light took the menu, browsing through the fancy cocktails with dozens of liquors he’d never heard of. “Kir Royale. Have you ever had one?” He handed the menu back with a smile, “I’m afraid it’s boring compared to all those drinks requiring alchemy. But delicious.”   
  


  
“Nothing you enjoy would  _ ever _ be boring to me.” L called to the well-heeled bartender, “Two glasses Kir Royale please.” The drinks were served in crystal glasses garnished with a lemon rind, a ruby-red sparkling concoction. “Here’s to getting Light-kun haunted again shortly!” L raised a loud toast and winked. The bartender looked askance a moment then glanced away.   
  


Light laughed despite himself, a little surprised at how much more open L seemed ever since they had that weird seance experience together. It did feel like they’d both witnessed an event that no one else could understand, or likely believe, so maybe that was why.  _ Although it seems like he’s flirting with me.  _ He raised his glass and clinked it to L’s, “To re-possession.” It was a naughty word in real estate but a more hopeful one here. He took a sip, keeping his eyes on L over his glass.  _ Yum.  _ After the waiter walked away, he lowered his voice, “I’m still reeling from what you told me before. Is that...your identity, a secret?” He probably needed to know if it wasn’t kosher to call him ‘L’ in public. “How long have you been doing it?”   
  


  
“It’s not…” L dropped his voice to a whisper and took a small sip of the Kir, “a matter for public discussion. We don’t need media involvement at all hours. 

Whoops, he’d made a faux pas. Light winced, “Sorry. No, I definitely don’t want the media following us...you around.” 

L went on, “I’ve gone ‘underground’, but I started my career at 8 years old, some time after I helped my caretaker, Watari, amass a fortune through some strategic investments.”   
  


Light listened with interest, blinking in surprise at the age L had started out.  _ Only a child. _ He wanted to ask more questions but reined in his curiosity for now. “Maybe you’ll tell me more about it later. Sounds like a fascinating life.”  _ And he has a caretaker? _

  
“I’ll answer everything Light-kun wants to know, I’m an open book… but later.” L took another, longer sip, “This is  _ pretty good _ .”   
  


_ Open book?  _ Light snorted in his drink, since all L had done was lie to him up until very recently, but he smiled when he said he liked the drink. Scant approval though it was, it still made him feel good. “I’m glad you like it. I’ll let you pick next time so I can try something new.”   
  


  
“Seems as if we could learn a lot from one another,” L said and leaned in closer, “Why did Light-kun become a realtor, even talking to him briefly I believe… he could have been anything he desired…” L’s eyes sparkled with his genuine fascination, “You graduated top of your class in every grade up even through college at Oxford. You chose your family’s business, even still?” L did not apologize for the invasive research he’d already done into the other man’s life.

  
  


Light flushed slightly at the dual insinuations that his line of work was a poor choice  _ and _ that L had turned his magnifying glass on his own life and background. “There’s nothing wrong with being a realtor. It’s actually quite challenging.” He huffed a little, sitting back and crossing his legs. “My father built the agency from nothing, and I grew up seeing all kinds of houses, places, land. My sister...she’s in the business too, my mother does some of the legal side of things. I guess...it’s a way to stay connected to my family.” He sipped and said stiffly, “And I enjoy it.”

  
  


L had not understood, in the slightest, that Light had not appreciated him questioning his line of work. Mostly because L’s question had come from a place of genuinely wondering about the choice, rather than one of derision, “That makes sense.” L nodded, “Perhaps Light could help me some though? Let’s see how this investigation goes. I know your work with your family is important to you. But I’m serious, I’m sure there’s nothing someone of your caliber can’t get a handle on.”

  
  


“What?” Light wasn’t sure he heard L right, was he asking for help with his investigations? “Do you mean help with buying some properties? Or,” he whispered quieter, “with cases?”

  
“The latter.” L said and finished his drink, “I amend what I said earlier. That’s DAMN good.”

  
  


Light giggled, because for someone so intent on whispering about things not ‘for public consumption,’ L had turned every head in the bar with his proclamation. “Well, get another one then. Or do we have an early morning?” He didn’t know anything L was planning, including their itinerary for the next day. “I was hoping to do some shopping since this is the only thing I have to wear.” He glanced down at the suit, and it suddenly occurred to him that he had no  _ pajamas _ either. Sipping the last of his drink, he set it down and motioned to the waiter. “I do have my wallet though. Let me buy the next round.” He was reeling that  _ L _ would think he was competent enough to help with his cases, but eager for the opportunity to prove that correct. 

  
  


L considered both the offer and the schedule at hand, he allowed Light to present his credit card to the bartender, but the instructions given to the hotel had been clear that Light Yagami would be fully covered under his name. Still no need to hurt the younger man’s ego over a gesture of goodwill. 

  
  


He pulled at his collar. The way Light was acting…. It seemed…. warm and inviting compared to the night prior. Was it only him? Now, as the tailor he wanted Light to meet with opened at 9 am… he doubted someone as punctual as Yagami-kun would consider that to be an early start, “Should I ask they bring the next round to our room? I could answer more questions of a personal nature behind closed doors.”

  
  


Light nodded at the suggestion they take their drinks upstairs. For one, he was curious about the suite, but he was mostly eager to have the chance to ask L more about his work. “Of course. But I  _ do _ intend to pay.” Why did he still have a feeling like L wasn’t going to let him, or sneakily pay for it himself? When the waiter approached, Light smiled and looked pointedly at L, “Two more Kir Royales, but can you have it sent to...Elon, what’s the suite number?” He held out his card between his fingers and the waiter at least make a good-faith gesture of taking it.

  
  


“800.” L said, and the bartender looked momentarily startled, it was the penthouse, an entire floor at the top of the building. Usually, the people who stayed at that level didn’t bother with the lobby bar. 

  
“Sir, would you be requiring a personal attendant for further assistance?” The bartender considered them hopefully, clearly counting stacks of fat tips in his head, “That room has a bar.”   
  


  
L cleared his throat, he’d prefer to be alone but Light might enjoy a personal attendant, and he was looking to make the man as comfortable as possible, “Does it?” He looked at Light, “It depends on what my guest would like.” Maybe getting to know each other better would not be as fun for Light as getting a full luxury experience.

  
  


“A personal bartender?!” Light’s grin widened to nearly childlike glee. He’d never experienced wealth like this. Although his family’s business made them comfortable, this kind of lifestyle was something he’d only seen in the glossy pages of magazines. “Um…” He glanced between the waiter and L, unsure if he’d get the full truth if they weren’t truly alone. “Maybe for a little while, sure.” It was a fun fantasy to indulge in, that people would wait on him hand and foot. 

L piped up, “Yes, do set up in the upstairs bar, we’d be happy for the help. Thank you for offering your services.”

As the waiter bowed to them and went back to the bar, Light leaned across the table to whisper, “I can’t believe you live like this. I’m...I have to admit I’m jealous.” He scanned the opulent room, filled with overdressed and fussy customers, and then settled back onto L. “I’d probably have to sell a house just to afford one night here, so...thank you.”   
  


“No need to thank me, Light-kun. Your company is very… agreeable. I’m sure many people other than myself would feel lucky to treat you.” He said it soft enough so the bartender couldn’t hear. L seemed uncomfortable with the idea he’d done too much. It hardly seemed like enough. It seemed like a start.    
  


  
Their waiter touched the cuff of a fellow bartender who gave a half-nod. He began to fill a silver cart with liquor options. As L got up to leave, two bellhops came as soon as he stood, “This way to your room, Mr. Spangler.” They showed them quietly to the elevator, inlaid with mirrors and for some odd reason, lit by a chandelier. 

  
  


Light followed behind L and the escort of bellhops and bartenders, trying not to goggle at all the luxury. He stood quietly in the elevator, hushed by the stick-straight posture and professional silence of the attendants.  _ Sometimes luxury can be too damn formal.  _ It was a relief to step into the private foyer, but when L swiped the keycard and the door opened, it took Light’s breath away. “Wooow…,” he breathed out softly as he marveled at the high ceilings and the wall of windows looking out onto the London skyline. He quieted down, remembering himself, and tried to furtively tip the bellhops who had brought their bags (or L’s bags) up. But they kept turning away politely or making some unnecessary fuss around the room each time he tried to give them money.

  
  


The room had been rearranged to L’s requests, with a wing-back tufted armchair for him to crouch on. Downstairs he had been civilized, sitting as other people had long told him was normal. But this was his domain now, and if Light was going to quiz him about his history he wanted to sit in the way that allowed him to think best. He undid his boots in the foyer and said, “Light-kun will you sit with me in the drawing room?” The servants took heed and brought a platter of tea and tea cakes to that area.

  
  


_ The drawing room? _ “Of course.” Yes, the hotel suite did in fact have a drawing room adjacent to the foyer, and Light followed L through the double French doors, casting an aside at the baby grand piano in one corner, and the enormous saltwater aquarium behind it.  _ Holy shit _ . He blinked at the unusual way L was sitting but didn’t remark on it, merely settled down on the opposite couch and sprawled leisurely, trying to make himself relax instead of constantly being made aware of how  _ expensive _ his surroundings were.    
  


  
L, on the other hand, looked entirely at ease.  _ Guess he’s used to it. _

  
  


The waiters presented him with a tray of delicate cakes and he took a small chocolate one. “These look delicious. I’d nearly forgotten I haven’t eaten anything but a sandwich today.” Drinks appeared a moment later, a Kir Royale as he’d previously requested, and at least that gave him something to focus on. There were some ‘safe’ questions he could ask, while they still had other ears about. Light nibbled the cake delicately, waiting until he’d swallowed to ask, “I was wondering where you learned to pilot a helicopter. That’s an impressive skill.”

  
  


L hummed to himself as he took a treacle tart apart with a surgeon’s efficiency, “I read the manual.”    
  


  
Light’s expression was one of shocked concern.   
  


  
“Alright, Light-kun has me.” L gave the man a serious look, he didn’t like making him feel uncomfortable enough to justify such a face, “Very well then, I studied aviation as part of my intelligence training for the King’s Guard.” He pinched the very middle of the tart, having finally excised the best bit, and ate it savoringly, “My mentor is heavily involved with the Royal Family, but I was asked to work… ‘on their behalf but to never again step foot on their premises.’” He laughed mildly, “They didn’t much like my questions and they _ especially  _ disliked my conclusions about their motives. Nowadays, I work almost purely with international organizations.”

  
Light was still holding the forgotten chocolate cake, eyes growing wider and wider the more he listened. “I-I see. It sounds like you’ve had an amazing career.” Hobnobbing with the Queen and international organizations? Picking up piloting skills as if it were tic-tac-toe? Why in the world would L be interested in just a realtor? “And the... _ other _ cases are things you do in your spare time?” He swallowed, recovering his demeanor and reminding himself he was exceptional in his own right-- even if it didn’t sound so impressive over tea. “Although I can’t imagine you have much free time.”

  
  
L, having finished the only part of the tart he was interested in, now leaned forward almost vulture-like on his heels, “For Light-kun I have nothing but time. I have  _ a fortune _ . I spend my time as I like. Lately I have stopped taking cases to focus just on understanding the world that lies beyond our own.” 

  
  


Light blushed slightly, wondering if that statement about ‘time’ was L’s way of flirting. Or perhaps he meant this spooky mission. He smiled wistfully, “It must be nice to be able to choose how you spend your time, to only do what you want to. For me...well, I  _ do _ love the thrill of the sale and seeing the sides of properties that perhaps others don’t, but dealing with the buyers and sellers isn’t always so pleasant.” He giggled and took another bite of cake, then set it on the gold-rimmed plates set before them by the servants (who were still standing by). 

  
  


“I suppose we have a similar problem right now, you and I. I have also lost track of someone who was haunting me, in a sense. Though…. that person was never a specter, except in his own mind.” L teetered for a moment from balance, he was so distracted by his thoughts, seemingly ready to crash to the floor, then gracefully resettled into his crouch, “Nor was he really my friend. I’ve never really… had any of those. Light is lucky. But if we find Light’s friend, maybe we can find my long missing _ stalker _ .”   
  


  
The conversational way L was talking to him set him at ease. Light had always appreciated bluntness and knowing where he stood with people, although the statement that L hadn’t had friends made him feel a little sad.  _ I could see being his friend.  _ But he could see that being someone with a secret life could preclude most friendships. Taking a sip of his drink, he settled back in his chair comfortably. “So, you’re looking for someone, too. But if it's a stalker, wouldn’t it be best if they  _ stayed _ lost?”   
  


  
“No,” L surmised. “Like Light-kun, I believe this man was haunted as well. There were many inexplicable events following him wherever he went. Light’s ghost… seemed to help him win at pool and assist in cleaning the estates? My ‘ghost’ had a taste for murder and destruction. I hate to think where this man might be right now, who might be suffering because I can not bring whatever force that drives him under control… Does Light remember the London Smoke Show Murders?” He cocked his head, “They represent one of the odd phenomena tied to this man.” He smiled, “Let’s help you find your pleasant ghost. It could… it could save a lot of people. ‘B’ seems to move between being a ghost and being a person in order to kill. The seance proved that there’s other realms and beings beyond ours, but I need to understand more about them. Then perhaps cases like my… stalker, which have no other explanation but supernatural… could be entirely prevented.”   
  


  
Light’s gaze flicked to the curious-looking servants, hesitant to say much more out loud while they were obviously listening. Was the booze going to L’s head and loosening his lips?  _ I thought he was concerned about secrecy.  _ He drained his cup and held it out for them to take. “Perhaps one more and then we have no more need for drink service tonight?” He smirked at L, trying to joke until the bartenders left the room, “And what makes you think a ghost helped me win at pool? Just because you lost? I would have beaten you either way.”

  
“I see. I am quite childish to think that way I suppose, but I might like a rematch soon.” L waved the servants away, making it clear they should follow Light’s suggestion that service hours were over. “Though I can think of additional ways Light-kun could best me in games that I’d  _ very much enjoy _ .” 

  
  
The bartenders could be heard quickening their pace to exit the penthouse, the cart’s wheels creaking as it moved faster than it was supposed to.

  
_ Games he’d enjoy, hmm? That sounded deliciously suggestive.  _ “I’m sure a rematch can be arranged. I only play for high stakes though.” Light watched the servants hurry away after handing the two of them fresh drinks, finally feeling free to speak his mind. “But, to answer your previous question, yes, I do remember those murders in London a few years back. If I recall, they never caught the perpetrator. So, is your theory that they were supernatural and related to whatever was haunting your ‘stalker’?”

  
“I have a 95% certainty, on top of my 100% certainty whatever killed those businessmen could have not been human, nor was it any known animal. The autopsies were sealed to the public then falsified to prevent mass panic. Their insides were… drained… drained of blood and organs dessicated. Much like other cases surrounding this man.” L picked at the side of the treacle tart and he sipped his drink. “I trust I’m not being too macabre? I want Light-kun to enjoy his night here.”

  
  


“Are you joking?” Light laughed, lifting his drink to the opulence surrounding them. “I’m having the time of my life. Staying in a place like this, hearing about one of  _ L’s _ cases, drinking with interesting company? I guess that happens for you every day, but my life is a lot more boring.” He shrugged, thinking of Ryuk again with a twinge of worry. “Or was, before I met Ryuk. It was like the whole world opened up after that. Made me consider possibilities I never had before. Like that there’s an entirely other plane of existence where death gods live.”

  
  


L smiled cutely, “It’s good Light-kun is having a nice time. There’s a lot for us both to consider. If we help each other, we can maybe learn all about where Ryuk was from.” He seemed to realize something suddenly, like he’d had a flash of inspiration. He lifted his dessert spoon in the air and declared, “I am also having the time of my life.”

  
  


Light grinned over his drink, “Is L, the world’s greatest detective and erstwhile ghost hunter, getting tipsy?” He knew he was a lightweight as well, but he’d had to drink with clients regularly and thus had some experience.    
  


  
L shook his head emphatically no, then started laughing much harder, calmed down and whispered, “I’m pleased to have the chance for tete-a-tete with you. Though,” He hiccuped a little, “I usually stop at one drink, how many,” He counted on his fingers, “Yes. Four. That seems like a normal amount of drinks. Because it’s a normal amount of cakes!”

  
He caught Light looking at him in the low light of the drawing room, “I’m not sure if it’s the Kir Royale or Light-kun making me feel this euphoric…”

  
  


Light tilted his head, giggling quietly.  _ What an unusual person.  _ “I guess I should take that as a compliment.” Now he was absolutely sure L was flirting with him, and Light found he didn’t mind that at all. Besides the drinks, it was intoxicating to meet someone so brilliant, if odd, and converse like equals. And L’s behavior and words were charming in a clueless way.  _ He really has had very little social interaction. _ Teasing, “But it is my objective opinion that you  _ are _ tipsy. I don’t take criticism, so kindly accept it.”    
  


  
“I suppose if Light has more experience,” He hiccuped again, “I’d defer to it... ” He looked worried, “Do you wish to cease talking when I am tipsy?”   
  


  
Light smiled and shook his head. “Not at all. It’s charming. I just don’t want you to have a headache in the morning.” He picked up another small cake and held it out across the table, “At least eat some more, that will help.”   
  


  
L took the proffered cake in gratitude, as if it were a gift, “I appreciate Light’s advice in this regard.” He picked up a small fork to have at the carrot cake, “And I see he made a healthy choice as well. His conscientiousness is very attractive.” 

  
  


Light sputtered around his own bite of cake at the blunt statement, which probably  _ wasn’t _ very attractive. Carrot cake was still cake and laden with sugar and heaps of icing, after all. He swallowed and wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin, saying, “So I’m curious, how did you find the house? Was it just the rumors in town?”   
  


  
“I’m sorry to tell you, but I don’t hear much from the York area. It was rather… how Light-kun had placed that delightful sign outside the estates.” L said excitedly, “I was making my annual Wammy’s House visit when I saw his zany, ‘not haunted’ sign. It didn’t even look like something of this world,” He tilted his head, “That’s some artistic talent you have. Light-kun is so multi-talented.”

  
  


“Ah, I wish I could take credit for the sign, but that was mostly Ryuk’s doing. He’s actually quite a talented artist--oh, that reminds me…there’s a notebook I gave him. Let me show you.” Light set his drink down and went back into the foyer to get his backpack, digging out the notebook that Ryuk had left behind. He’d seen the shinigami sketching in it once or twice but hadn’t gotten a good look at it. 

  
  


Sitting back down beside L, he flipped through it. “When we first met, Ryuk complained about not having a special notebook from his realm, so I got him this. I figured he was probably bored when I wasn’t there.” The pages were filled with detailed pen sketches of both real and other-worldly scenes, like the front yard of the house, Ryuk’s favorite apple tree, a barren-looking castle. There were many pages of Light doing things like vacuuming or thinking, and a humorous one of him trying to wrangle an unruly small dog. Light pointed at that one with a chuckle, “That was the dog of this couple that came to see the house. Bit the hell out of my hand.”   
  


  
Ah, L thought to himself, well that explained the comics he’d found of his machine… and the slightly disturbed fantasy about Light’s rival for business, that didn’t really seem like something Light Yagami would have ever thought up, it was too silly, “I’m sorry that happened, Light. You’ll have to… tell me the name of its owner. Violent dogs should be reported.” He filed that away in his backlog of people to deal with, “Hm. Ryuk put a lot of thought into this.” L mused, staring at a comic of himself in the Psydora with “ **Ha** !” inked beside it in bold, “Though why am I a frog cartoon? That seems unnecessary. Even rude.” He sounded sullen. His phone pinged. He ignored it, but it pinged again.   
  


  
“Excuse me Light-kun we’ll get right back to…” He opened the link Watari had sent him with the caption, ‘Mysterious Death  _ Possibly _ Related to Mr. Yagami.’ He went silent as he took in the new information. For in the attachment was a picture of Higuchi naked as the day he was born about to be removed from a chalk outline, after seemingly, comically … having slipped on a banana peel.

  
  


He swallowed air, and glanced meaningfully to Light, “Say Light-kun. Don’t take this the wrong way. It’s just the timing and the... Is it possible... Did Ryuk, maybe, think to go on some sort of errand for you?” He handed his phone to Light, “He didn’t like this guy right? Your  _ Death God. _ ”

  
  


Light took the phone, staring down at with a baffled expression as he read the news article. “What?!” For a moment, he forgot himself and a devious smile spread across his face as he saw how the man had met his end.  _ Oh Ryuk, if you did this, I’ll shower you with apples whenever you come back. _ He murmured, “Guess I won’t be paying those dry cleaning bills after all.” The Realtor King was  _ dead. _


	8. Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L tussle over what to do with Ryuk's notebook, employing their deadliest weapons.

Light scrolled down to a video of the ‘incident,’ barely able to keep from cackling as he watched Higuchi trying to assault police officers with fresh produce while singing the very song Light had set as Higuchi’s ringtone. _Look at the Realtor King now!_ “Ha!!” He looked up abruptly, clapping a hand over his mouth as it hit him that this was _not_ the time to gloat. Lowering his hand, he assumed a somber expression for L’s benefit. “No, I had nothing to do with this, and as far as I know, neither did Ryuk. He knew I didn’t like the man, but...well, like you said, he’s a death god so I really can’t say.” He handed the phone back warily, not quite liking how L was looking at him now.

  
  
“Forgive me, Light-kun, could I ask you to read what Ryuk wrote down in that notebook… and compare it to this crime scene.” L had sobered. He could feel the air was charged with Light’s restrained glee and fake somberness.

Light snatched back the notebook, frowning as he stood up. “No, I don’t like this line of conversation. I wasn’t involved in any murder and you can tell whoever sent you that news link the same. I was with _you_ the entire time.” He strode into the foyer and put the notebook back in his backpack, calling to L, “This is just an _ordinary_ notebook I bought at an _ordinary_ store!”

  
“In the same way that I believe that the possessed man I am searching for is not responsible for the murders to which his name has been wrongly associated, Light-Kun would not be responsible for the actions of a supernatural entity which has taken a shine to him.” L grabbed Light’s hand as he stalked away, “I’m not accusing him. I’m asking that he make the logical connection. Because either Ryuk did this or,” He stared at the backpack, half-perplexed but oddly certain, “That notebook did?” 

Light looked down at where L had caught his wrist, considering the possibility that Ryuk had bestowed upon him--probably unknowingly-- a magical means of murder from afar. On the one hand, that was terrifying. But on the other... _someone could rule the world with a power like that_ . He cursed himself that L the detective made that discovery with him. Ryuk must have written some kind of weird death for Higuchi in the notebook and it came true. L would not logically hold him responsible for that, but of course _would_ do so if any other names popped up since Ryuk’s departure. _Very inconvenient._ “That’s ridiculous. Ryuk is a death god, but Ryuk’s not here. He probably killed Higuchi when he got back to his own world.” He shook his hand free and went into the bedroom, feeling very flustered.

  
L paused, unsure if Light in his state of high emotion, had meant to retreat to the bedroom in seclusion. He dug the notebook out of the backpack and he held it in one hand as he knocked on the frame of the door, “Light-kun, we don’t have to do this right now… does he need me to sleep in the armchair…” He looked down at the floor, “I am too bold with my theories. It’s off-putting, I know.”

The notebook was still in his hand, he never knew when to stop. And if Light would still entertain him, he had one surefire way to test his theory. He wasn’t sure it was decent bedroom talk, but he’d seemed to have already shot himself in the foot in that regard. Something told him even if Light let him back in now he’d soon be sleeping alone. “It’s only I have… one more thing to ask you.”

Light appeared in the doorway, he’d just needed to have some space to himself after that information avalanche. Not just about Higuchi and the potential of that notebook, but the realization that he both was _glad_ Higuchi was dead and sorely sorry that L knew about it all. “What is--” He broke off with a glower as he spied the notebook in L’s pinched fingers. Cooly, “Is it your usual habit to go through others’ things and take them without permission?”

“It is when I’m trying to help. Light-kun, if this is a weapon that Ryuk made for you, I believe I have an ethical way to find out.” But Light’s expression stayed icy, and L had the decency to look defeated in return, handing the notebook over. “You are right. This is yours. But we have good reason to think it’s probably highly dangerous…” He needed to calm himself down, “I’m sorry things progressed like this. I’ll have the staff bring me a cot.”

Light took the notebook back, deciding that it would probably only be safe from L in a literal safe, if there was one in this suite. “Thank you. And I’m not sure what it is you’re trying to help with. If Ryuk killed Higuchi, what are you going to do? Prosecute a Death God?” He sighed, turning away. “Anyway, I’m not going to make you sleep on a cot when you paid for the entire room.” Things had soured, but he needed to stay on cordial terms if he was going to be able to talk to Matt and Mello the next day. He was even more intent to do so after learning about this notebook. He needed Ryuk to come back as soon as possible and explain what the heck was going on.

He looked around the room and finally found a safe in the closet, putting the notebook inside and setting the code to a random string of numbers he instantly memorized. _There. Now I can sleep without having to worry about his snooping._

  
L caught Light’s eyes, he had stayed well away from his work in the closet having already invaded his privacy one to many times, “I’m sorry I put a damper on our good time.” He seemed wistful for the slightly heated conversation before the ill-fated text message from Watari had come in. But she was just doing her job. “I have watched a video of myself sleeping. _I don’t snore_ ,” He said, trying to be comforting, “It’s a California King…” And sighed, “If Light is really alright with this, I get a significant percentage more restorative sleep if comfortable on the left side of the bed.”

“Fine, pick whatever side you like.” Light loosened his tie and shrugged off his jacket, carefully folding them both over the back of the chair and wondering what kind of a person recorded themselves sleeping. _I don’t have any pajamas, shit._ He stopped undressing there, shooting an apprehensive look over his shoulder. It was a shame that his guard was up now, he’d really been enjoying himself, but it couldn’t be helped. He unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt and climbed into the right side of the large bed, but the whole thing just felt _weird_. 

  
L’s eyes followed hungrily, the movement of fingers, the slow exposure of a clean fit chest. He shook his head, “Light-kun, hotels like this one provide complimentary pajamas, they should be in the top chest drawers.” He opened said drawers to find the provided cotton plaid pajamas, “See?” but he looked back and saw Light had put the down comforter over his head as if the man was completely done for the night. He got a pair of pajamas and stripped right there to put them on, not even really pausing to think if it might be weird to expose himself half-hard after getting the barest glimpse of Light in a state of undress.  
  


Light heard something muffled about complimentary pajamas through the blanket over his head, but when he peeked out, he got an eyeful of naked L. _He doesn’t wear underwear?_ He blushed watching L undress, he could feel his face burning but couldn’t look away either. _Oh my god is he…_ He swallowed and stared at the wall, thinking that it really would be more comfortable to change from his tight slacks and work shirt.

  
L pulled on the soft cotton and turned towards the bed, as he got under the covers he said, “Thank you for introducing me to Kir Royale.” He hugged one side of the sea of the bed. It was so well made that Light wouldn’t have even felt the shift of his weight settling into it from this far. “Tonight was still…” He whispered softly, “the time of my life.” He also wanted to share with Light that he thought perhaps one Kyosuke Higuchi had deserved that death, and that he certainly didn’t have any lack of enemies he would have gladly seen dead… there was much he wanted to share but it seemed that was again off limits to him.

  
L’s whispered words made Light feel genuinely sorry for getting so huffy. _He’d_ been the one to ruin things, not L, but it had been so much to process at once. He still wasn’t sure what to think. He sighed and turned over, “I was having fun too.” _Maybe we can salvage things a little._

He waited a moment and decided to stop being so stubborn. No one was ‘winning’ anything just because he refused to sleep in the comfy pajamas. “I think I’ll change after all.” He slid from the bed and got another pair of pajamas, shimming out of his clothes (leaving his boxers on, though, he wasn’t _that_ shameless) to put them on. 

  
L didn’t feel Light get up. But he heard the wooden floor creak. He stole a glance at Light’s bared chest and legs. His halfie raised to full mast so he turned back over on his side to hide it. Light might not just be the best looking man he’d seen in person. Light might be the best looking man in the entire UK. He felt like he’d wandered into some private photoshoot.

Getting back in bed, Light turned the side lamp off. “So what was your idea anyway? To test it?”

  
L turned towards him in the bed when the question was posed, looking more than a little excited to be able to share his proposed methods of understanding the nature of the notebook, “Light has two options depending upon his moral preference. I can acquire the name of a local in hospice who is terminally ill, or I can acquire the name of someone certainly convicted of violent crime, currently on death row and awaiting imminent execution.” 

  
Light’s fingers clenched in the covers, amazed at what L was suggesting. “Sometimes people in hospice get better, don’t they? But someone on death row...” _Someone the world had already marked for death._

  
“Either way, the notebook is a supernatural weapon, we are not really murdering someone… right? You can’t murder someone who was already condemned to die.” L coughed, “I mean, that’s what I figure.” 

Light stopped and thought a little more, staying cautious about L’s intentions, “But what if it works? Are you going to take it from me and hand it to a bunch of ghost scientists to study? Ryuk wanted _me_ to have it.” That might have been a leap of logic because Ryuk probably didn’t intend to just disappear suddenly, but he wanted to think that if Ryuk wanted anyone to have it, it was Light. 

  
L considered this. Really, if the notebook was such a dangerous weapon it would be best to put it in containment where no human could ever use it against others. If it was true that the notebook could kill remotely… it was every bit as dangerous as Beyond, and Beyond was plenty enough for him to handle for one lifetime. He doubted Light would find this plan to prioritize the safety of others appealing though, “I mean, you don’t have to use it if it’s really a weapon, right?” L said, “It’s enough for us to know. No one else has to.” He closed his eyes, “It doesn’t prove the existence of ghosts. That’s all I am looking to do.”

_No, I don’t HAVE to use it but…_ “Do I have your promise then? That no matter what happens you promise not to take it from me or tell anyone else about it?” Light realized how suspicious that sounded, but it wasn’t just about this newfound power. “It’s the only thing I really have of Ryuk’s. If I never see him again, and lose that too, I’d have nothing.” 

L was moved by this plea. If Ryuk had helped Light so much when he was alone in that big, strange estate and it was L’s fault they had lost that close connection by fiddling with the pentagram… it seemed the least he could do was let Light have the notebook, whatever that entailed, whether it was a scrapbook of memories or something entirely darker. “I don’t know I…” Light’s eyes were shining with sincerity, “I want to make you this promise, Light Yagami. Something like that though… it could shape the entire world.” He said, “I can promise I won’t hand it over to anyone.” That was true. He wouldn’t trust anything that powerful even in the hands of the most vocally pacifist members of the UN. But he also wouldn’t trust Light with it. He could seal it away. Study it...

Light mulled over that half-promise, but it wasn’t good enough to soothe his fears. _Not nearly good enough._ L clearly recognized the potential power of the notebook-- if it worked. Plus, he didn’t trust that L wouldn’t break even that measly promise if he ever caught wind of a ‘mysterious’ death somewhere in Light’s orbit. “Hmm.” He scooted closer slowly, nearly on L’s side of the bed, and decided to use his most powerful tool of persuasion. 

He whispered, “The thing is, L, that Ryuk meant for _me_ to have it.” His hand moved to play with L’s chaotic hair, just idly toying with it as if that were a perfectly natural thing to do. “That’s...well, are you really prepared to defy a god of death?” Light shifted even closer, until he was sharing the same pillow and he could feel L’s warm breath on his face. “He’s probably already pretty annoyed that you zapped him back to his world, you know.” His expression changed to one of concern and he sighed, “He really didn’t like it there.”

L laid frozen inside of Light’s unexpectedly easy intimacy. He felt that hot mouth against his ear and it almost didn’t matter what was being said-- fuck, the other man even smelled amazing, “Light-kun I…” He tried to collect himself as fingers threaded through hair softly traveled down the nape of his neck and honey eyes reached him with such regard for his friend. “This isn’t usually how I…” He sighed longingly, “Negotiate.” Then as it dawned on him what Light was so gently saying to him with bedroom eyes, his own shot open, “You think he would...?” He couldn’t complete that out loud. It was a death threat yet he had a hard-on all the same.

“Well…” Light kept up his soft, sympathetic tone as his fingers played with the collar of L’s pajamas. “I guess he _did_ probably kill Higuchi, and all that guy did was annoy me and send me his dry cleaning bill. But look how the poor man went out...” _Poor man my ass, that was absolutely perfect, Ryuk._ He casually flicked open the first button on L’s pajama top. “What would he do to someone who stole the one and only gift he ever gave me?” He met L’s eyes, pretending to be fearful, “I shudder to think.” He brushed over a spot of exposed skin on L’s chest, leaning in so their lips were barely apart. “Maybe it would just be better if you forgot all about that notebook. I don’t think I could live with myself if something _happened_ to you because of it.” 

  
L didn’t get the feeling Light would actually be all that broken-hearted if Ryuk offed him as a result of taking this newfound power away… should he take the notebook away and put it in containment after they verified it worked? He was aware Light’s regard was, as of right now, conditional. Those hands were undoing the bed shirt he’d bothered with, as not to be improper, and now… now things were about to get very unprofessional, because when Light touched him all he wanted was to be touched more. It was as compelling as cake, no, _moreso_ . “Light-kun.” His voice dropped low, “I think… maybe I should… forget about it.”  
  


\---somewhere in the Shinigami Realm---

  
Somewhere past the veil of universes, fangs tightened to his thick lip, Ryuk stifled a screaming laugh at the scene unfolding in London. Chained up as he was, hanging from the ceiling and awaiting an audience before their ‘busy’ king for trial, his only entertainment right now was the portal to the human world. His fellow shinigami who’d visited him in the open cage had mostly lamented he couldn’t gamble with them, not like this. The portal had been placed within viewing distance more to remind him of that which he could not currently affect, but he could still see Light with L.

“Love to help, lotta bit indisposed at the moment, buddy.” Each finger was held up to the ceiling by a bolt piercing through each of his talons, so he couldn’t even wriggle his hands from the gossamer chains-- the shinigami’s deftest weapon, lost to him. “But I see you got _this one_ under control.” He continued to laugh, always impressed with Light’s ability to make his way through any situation unscathed. He supposed he would soon be sentenced to dust. But at least these final days had been _a riot._

\---back in the human world at the hotel---

  
  
Light smiled at L’s mumbled words, knowing that he’d finally gotten through to L. But he needed to seal the deal, put the cherry on top of this sundae to keep L wrapped around his finger. “Yes...I do think that’s the _smart_ decision.” He closed his eyes and finally pressed his lips to L’s, parting them just enough to let their tongues touch for a brief moment before pulling back. “I’m so happy we’re on the same page, L.” Light pressed their lips together once more before giving him a brilliant smile. “We better get some sleep now.” He yawned and moved back to his side of the bed, fluffing up his pillow before settling into it. “I plan to get up early and do some shopping with your credit card.”

  
When Light turned from him, L held his hand over his mouth in disbelief. The briefest kiss, something he hardly deserved. Soon the other man was fast asleep, though L laid on his back, staring at the ceiling part-elated and part-conflicted… wondering if he could actually forget about something like a notebook of death.

 _  
_ _  
_ _Even for the sake of Light Yagami._ _  
  
_

\---in the Shinigami Realm---

_  
_ “Frog man, if you don’t do what ya say, I’ll…” Ryuk twisted uselessly in his confines, “Well, right, nothing at the moment, but it’d make what Light thought I would do to you look nice!”

  
  
Nu burbled back into his cage, looking very excited with the news she had to share, “... we figured…. Can still play…. With us…” She tossed a set of bone dice with her telekinesis in explanation, a power she’d mastered long ago since she had no limbs, “Want… learn?”

  
  
Ryuk bit back a sarcastic ‘ _does it look like I have anything better to do?_ ’ And said, “I’m all _eyes_ , Nu.”  
  


\---back in the hotel---

  
Light’s softened breathing let L know that he could safely move without waking the other man. He crept to the safe, it was too much on his mind, the notebook that could perhaps kill indirectly. No one needed the temptation of that kind of power. Regardless of how well they conducted themselves, absolute power corrupts absolutely. L searched his mind for important numbers he’d already memorized for Light Yagami - his childhood home, his phone number, birthdate, tennis team number - he spun a few combinations before Light’s childhood home’s street number 6209 unlatched the safe.

  
  
The unlatching, however, was surprisingly loud. He winced at the metal noises clacking clearly in the night. A sound sure to wake even the deepest sleeper…

Light’s eyes shot open at the metal screech, blinking a few times as his vision adjusted. _What was that noise…_ He turned over and simultaneously noticed that L was absent from the bed, and that there was a shadowy figure crouched by the closet. “L! What are you--” He huffed and threw the sheets off, rushing over to L and grabbing his shoulder. “Did you just _crack_ the safe to steal the notebook?!” His features darkened in anger, “You _literally_ promised to forget about it an hour ago!”

  
  
L grabbed the notebook from out of the safe and jumped up to crouch on top of it, readying himself to fight the man and make off with the item if need be. He held it high above his head with his right hand, “Light. This thing is effectively a weapon of mass destruction. Can’t we just… talk this one out, okay?”

  
  
“What more is there to talk about?!” Light tried to grab the notebook from L but the man was too quick, protecting it with his body.

  
“Look Light, you are a very good kisser,” L flipped over the bed away from Light, who was bigger than him, just not faster, book still firmly in hand. “But that’s not about to make me forget Higuchi doing his death march samba spectacular in the Tesco fruit aisle.” 

Light gasped in indignation, now more offended that his kiss hadn’t had the intended effect than he was about L pinching the notebook. “You--!” He jumped over the bed and tackled L to the ground, yelling as they tussled, “You asshole! You’ve done nothing but lie and harass me since we met!” He pulled his fist back and pommeled L, landing a punch solidly on the man’s jaw.

  
L assumed the flying lotus position, his jaw swelling rapidly with the force of the hit, and there was no time to nurse it. It didn’t bother him enough to stop, he was used to such pain. He held the note in his hands firmly, aiming a hard kick into the man’s solar plexus, but Light moved as gracefully as a dancer out of harm’s way. Damn, that evasion was impressive, “I’m not the man trying to sell a haunted house death trap to any innocent investor, now am I!?” He aimed a second kick...

“Oof!” Light staggered back from the second kick, shooting L daggers as he doubled over. “I was just doing my _job_ you pseudoscientific busybody!” He rushed L and grabbed him around the middle, ending up with both of them on the bed. He yelled into L’s face, “How was _I_ supposed to know some brats summoned a death god with a damn Ouija board?!” He struggled and tried to pin L down and take the notebook, but the wiry man was stronger than he looked. It seemed like as soon as he got a grip on one wrist, the other slipped away, so finally he just pressed himself bodily on top of L to try to make him _stay still_. “Stop squirming! Stealing is a crime, selling a house isn’t! NOW GIVE THAT BACK!”

“I’m seizing a dangerous weapon as a government official Light!!! I’m,” Oh, Light’s body felt amazing poised above him… pinning him down so firmly, “I’m…” He blushed a crimson almost deeper than the blooming bruise on his face, and when he squirmed he could feel every contour of Light’s fit form. Soon he was _almost_ harder than he was stubborn about winning. He choked a little, “Do you need to put so much of yourself on me all at once?” Well, maybe Light didn’t notice how pressed into him he was now, as aggravated as he was, “Please listen to reason! It’s not that _you_ shouldn’t have this. No one should. We’ll find the death god, we’ll give it back… but you shouldn’t keep this like some treasure, it’s a curse, it will ruin your life!”

  
“The only thing ruining my life right now is _you_ .” Light wrestled L back to the bed when he tried to wiggle away. “And stop treating me like a---” He stopped abruptly as he _felt_ something hard pressed up against his hip and suddenly noticed the flush on L’s cheeks. _Is this getting him off?_ Even more alarming was the realization that _he_ was hard, panting and excited not just out of anger. He must have looked a little like a deer caught in the headlights, forcing out the whispered words, “You can’t just trick people, L. You can’t just take what’s theirs.” His gaze slid to the notebook still in L’s hand then settled on L’s mouth. He licked his lips and pressed his hips down a little more, shamelessly betraying himself with a smirk, “Not without a warrant.” Light was no fool, and if L did mean to seize his property as evidence, that evidence would immediately become tainted and inadmissible without the proper protocols. “Go ahead, Mr. Hot-Shot Government Agent, _take_ it. But you and I both know you’d never get to keep it if you did.”

  
  
L wanted to argue he didn’t intend to keep the cursed thing, he intended to study it for the sake of England, for furthering his own research, then destroy it. But instead, horny idiot he was, he replied, “You seem like someone pretty used to taking what you want. Don’t go on lecturing me about protocols you know nothing about.” Cases like this one would never see the light of day; all of it would immediately be classified. “Pointing out _what’s out of your depth_ is not the same as treating you like a child.” He panted and looked up heatedly at the beautiful man who was practically humping him, and the sly smirk that played across his striking features, “No, I have no doubt you are a _grown man_ . Maybe,” He gasped and grinded upwards into the increasing heat between his thighs, “Maybe, for some unknown reason, I’m willing to listen to why you think keeping this isn’t simply a childish path to _absolute ruination_. Go on. You seem to have pinned down my busy schedule for the moment.”

Light was tempted to just shut L up by showing him the true meaning of ‘absolute ruination,’ but it was more fun to taunt him at present, now that the chemistry between them was so raw. The absolute nerve of the man to insult his knowledge like that-- one minute the asshole wanted Light to help him with cases and the next, mocks him for being out of his depth. “Yes, what was I thinking. I’m just a silly realtor after all.” He laughed quietly and laid down fully on top of L, whispering in his ear, “But if Ryuk can make me one notebook, what makes you think he won’t make me another?” The tip of his tongue darted across L’s earlobe, content in the knowledge that while L had his high and mighty position as some great detective, Light had a _god_ of death on his side. “So maybe you should keep that in mind, with how you _treat_ me.” Light knew Ryuk would make his way back one way or another, he’d make sure of it. L didn’t understand, but he and Ryuk had forged a friendship, a kind of bond that was rare for either of them. He rolled his hips down, feeling nearly everything through the thin fabric of their pajamas. “I think it’s _you_ who’s out of their depth.”

  
  
Oh _fuck him,_ he was right. That phantom who seemed so enamored of Light probably would just whip up another killing notebook as soon as L confiscated this one, and there was no mystery as to who their first mark would be. 

And then there was the matter of what was going on… below. L’s breath went shallow when he realized Light’s cock was nestled next to his, the fabric did very little to make that feeling any less intense, especially since he was aching from their scrape. The other man had been unfairly gifted, it _clearly_ felt like, in most regards. “Light I want to treat you very, very well. Even if Ryuk would make you another right away I can’t just let you ke-,’ He felt Light move again, _the whole world could go to hell on an express train as long as he stayed just right there_ , “I can’t just let-” He gasped, upset with himself that he was this weak, his voice faltered “Oh. God.” Then he steeled himself. As near impossible as it was, this was about his _life’s work_ , proving the supernatural, “Light for the good of our entire COUNTRY we should be very careful with that notebook. I’m taking it. But NOT because I don’t trust you!”

Light hissed in disappointment, slightly baring his teeth in L’s face. _Why is he so STUBBORN?_ He frowned and turned his face away, re-assessing his options. There was very little he could do other than beat the ever-living shit out of L to get that notebook back tonight, and if he did do that, Light would be blowing his only chance to find Ryuk again. He _needed_ L’s help to get in touch with Mello and Matt, to figure out how to summon Ryuk back to their world again. 

In effect, Light had no choice but to play nice, for now. He huffed, “Fine.” Looking very repentant and chastised, he turned back to face L. “Of course you’re right,” he lied, “And I’d never even dream of using it, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Ah, lies came so naturally, and they sounded completely honest and sincere from Light’s lips. “But like I said, you’d be taking the one thing I have to remember Ryuk by.” He sighed with faux sadness, even managed to make his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “But if you think that’s for the best, I’m sure you know better than I do.” _Like hell you do_. He ‘innocently’ shifted his hips, pressing himself against L’s crotch, and loosened his grip on the man’s wrists. “You can have it, I won’t fight you anymore. But I still want to try to figure out how to get him back to our world. I need the chance to say goodbye.”

L nodded, “We will figure that out together!. I didn’t mean to send your friend away,” L looked him in the eyes, “And thank you, thank you for understanding me. Light. You’re a good man.” 

Light had to bite his lip to keep from laughing, but he managed to cast his eyes down and nod once.

L dropped his voice realizing Light hadn’t stopped grinding on him, “And I’d understand if you… need some relief in the meantime… it’s hard to lose a friend.” He wasn’t sure how to propose what he wanted and blurted out, not making much sense because he was so delighted to both have won the argument and still be in bed with this man, “Can I give you a job?” 

“I don’t think _work_ is exactly going to…” Light’s eyes went wide, gaze snapping back up to L’s as the incredibly awkward proposition sunk in. “Oh!” _Is he REALLY asking…?_ It wasn’t romantic in the slightest, but Light surprisingly found L’s bluntness and pure lack of shame oddly erotic. “Um…” He flushed when he throbbed against L’s body-- clearly one part of him was highly interested in this ‘work.’ And wouldn’t it be so fitting to have the current obstacle in his way _service_ him like that? _Shit...yes, yes it would_ . “I’ve never...um, had a _job_ before. Not from a man anyway.” And nothing worth remembering from a woman either.

  
  
L tried to suppress a superior little smile, according to nearly every partner he’d ever had, he required no more studies in this field, “I… would love to change that for you… right. Now.” L licked his lips, “Trust me, it has benefits,” He didn’t want to be the one to expose Light’s hard-on, since mere minutes prior they’d been punching each other, instead he gingerly threw a pillow from the bed to the floor and followed to kneel down on it at the bedside, “If you’d come over here… maybe I can make up for some of the undue stress I’ve caused.” He cleared his throat, “Up to you if you want to take me up on the offer.”

Light’s gaze followed L’s every movement, weighing out whether there were any cons to this situation. _Nope._ There was no point in denying he was attracted to the strange detective...and it wasn’t like anyone was watching…His heartbeat sped as he moved to the edge of the bed, chest rising and falling as he shifted his legs on either side of L. “This stays between _us_ , right?” His erection was tenting his pajama pants, aching to be freed. He palmed himself over the fabric then pulled the elastic band down to expose himself. 

L took in the sight of L exposed with a little sigh of contentment, “Pull on my hair if I do anything that feels less than beneficial…” He mouthed the head first to gauge Light’s reaction and when he heard the man’s breath catch, licked a long stripe from the tip to the base, briefly ghosted across the man’s ballsack. He reassured, “This is only between us. And if you like it, it’s… whenever you need it. _Please._ Show me what you like….” Then he mouthed Light’s balls while locking eyes with him and using one hand to gently stroke his wetted cock.

“ _Haaa!”_ Light’s hand went to L’s hair, fingers burying in the messy locks and twitching in response to that soft, skilled tongue. “W-whenever I _need_ it?!” _Fuck, he’s good at this and he knows it_ . He gave L a lop-sided smile, answering softly, “I’m a constant ball of stress thanks to you. Think I might need a _lot_ of relaxation.” He pushed L’s head back gently so he could slip out of his pants completely, then spread his legs further and pulled L’s head close again with a sigh. What exactly _did_ he like? Light had never had much opportunity to figure it out but everything L was doing felt incredible.

  
  
L felt himself harden completely, his cock dripping so much precum that it started to seep through his flimsy bedclothes, an enthusiastic response from Light was the stuff of dreams. He kept going at first with the combination of an attentive hand job and his mouth worshipfully laving Light’s balls. He pulled back only long enough to say, “I’d be very happy to keep you employed.” Still going with his unintentional, but stupid joke from before, he winked, then got back to what was important. Swirling his tongue in agile patterns, repeated at regular intervals, he paid careful attention to Light’s breath, whenever the response was good he kept at what he was doing, and if Light’s breath started to normalize he switched it up. 

“Oh my _god…_ .” Light had never felt sensations like this before, never even knew he _could_ feel this good. He was trying to stifle himself from making embarrassing noises but they kept slipping out when L would do something particularly creative. It was like the man could anticipate what he wanted, how he was feeling--- it was uncanny, really. L seemed to be able to get him to the edge and back away at exactly the right moment, or pick up the pace and surprise him just when he craved it. “Your mouth is _amazing_.” Praise from Light Yagami was rare indeed, although L didn’t know him well enough to appreciate that fact. 

Light seemed to be at a moment of calm enjoyment and L took his hand away, his mouth from this tenuous licking, and opened his mouth to take Light all the way to the base of his cock, his hands gripping Light’s tan fit thighs, deep throating him with a crazy hunger he was only beginning to satisfy.

Light let out a sudden moan, unable to hold it back with the wave of pleasure that assaulted him. He stared down at L, pupils dilated wide and mouth hanging open, realizing that _this_ was what he liked, oh _yes_ , this was incredible. His fingers clenched in L’s hair involuntarily, yanking the man’s head down with each bob to encourage him. He wasn’t normally one to curse but a soft string of obscenities was passing his lips, his hips shuddering up to meet L’s mouth as he half-fucked that wet, warm space. Some part of him knew he probably shouldn’t be taking such a liberty right away but he couldn’t help it, and both of his hands buried into L’s hair to get even more control. “Y-you’re going to…” His eyes screwed shut as he gasped, throbbing down L’s throat. “...make me cum.” Softer and nearly pleading, “Please...don’t stop!”

  
  
L didn’t hear Light so much as feel him, twitching in his mouth, in a way that made him feel like this was all he’d ever been meant to do. Just his mouth. This lovely cock. He didn’t stop, he couldn’t have at this point without being physically extricated, he needed to feel Light cum for him. His tongue moved at lightning speed and he bobbed his head again and again taking the man to the hilt, letting it bottom out in the back of his throat. He was close to getting off himself. And all it would really take to push him over the edge would be the splendid reward of making this man orgasm. But fuck, what would this brilliant man think of him if he were to orgasm only from being able to taste his cum. L didn’t know, but he supposed he was going to find out, it had been so long since a compliment on his oral had meant anything at all to him. Of course he was good at this, he was _a genius_. When Light had said it though he’d felt his cheeks heat up like he was a teenager eying his first crush. Being praised by him, he redoubled his efforts. 

Light whined as he felt his orgasm approaching, L’s mouth was a relentless assault of pleasure and he could do nothing but pull the man in by the hair, eyes on fire with lust and _need_. It was already obvious this was going to be the best orgasm he’d ever had in his life, just from the way the tension was winding his insides up, making his thighs shake beneath L’s hands. “Oh shit oh fuck oh…” He groaned and pushed his hips even further down L’s throat, fuck the consequences, because he was coming in a blinding rush, vision going blurry and heart pounding so hard he could hear it in his skull. His cock pumped down L’s throat, jerking in the tight confines and making Light double over, clutching L’s head to his crotch until it was over. 

The moment L tasted and felt Light painting the back of his throat with his load, it was too much. He stayed on it and didn’t let anything go to waste, then fell backwards with a soft wet sound as Light fell from his mouth and palmed his aching cock laying knees akimbo on the floor, only a couple times until he followed Light in orgasm with a loud, ‘ _Fuck yes!_ ’

  
  
The poor attendants at this hotel. He’d ruined these bedclothes beyond repair. He caught his breath while Light recovered, and still on his back on the glossy wooden floor, proclaiming proudly, “I told you I could make some of it up to you…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ZJ: wow so this fic is gonna be filthy from now on huh?  
> Exam: SORRY

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for checking out our fic! We're on tumblr too:
> 
> ZJ: [Kiranatrix](http://kiranatrix.tumblr.com/)  
> exAm: [exAm](http://main-exam.tumblr.com/)


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